I'm in a relationship going on 5 years. We started at a very ealy age and it is the only real relationship I have ever been in. A year ago, I met someone at work and had an affair. Throughout the infidelity, we agreed that our relationship was strictly physical, but she ended up catching feelings for me. We ended it, but now I'm crazy about this girl. I think about her even when I'm in bed with my girlfriend! She (the other girl)now seems to be trying to move on, but I sense she still cares for me. I know it's ****** up, and I probably don't deserve either of them, but if you can give me some constructive advice I would appreciate it.
2006-08-11 12:14:21 · 20 answers · asked by Saint 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
wow pal, that sucks, i mean if u dont have any more feelings for the your gf that uve had for five years tell her that instead of leadin her on, plus its better if u tell her rather then if u get caught and thats even worse. so just break it to her nicely
2006-08-11 12:17:17 · answer #1 · answered by Joktan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just a few questions:
Do you love your girlfriend? Do you want to continue the relationship with your girlfriend? I asked these questions because after reading your post, you really didn't say how you feel about your girlfriend. In my opinion, it appears that you are bored with her.
You are in tough situation and you will have to figure this one out. Honestly if I were in your shoes, I will try to work it out with the girlfriend. I've seen cases like this all of the time and normally during an affair the thought of having someone else's man is exciting or the thought of "sneeking or creeping" is exciting. Normally relationships that is an result from infidelity doesn't last because there will always be a trust issue between the couple. If you end up with your co-worker, do you think she would trust you after you slept with her while in a relationship with someone else. Probably not!
Put yourself in your girlfriend's shoes. How would you feel if she was having a sexual relationship with her male co-worker and thinking about this man while in the bed with you? If you are no longer interested in your girlfriend, I think you should end the relationship so that she could move on with her life as you would do. Make your decision about which woman is better for you (not just sexually) but overall and pray that you make the right decision. Good women are hard to come by and that's for real. Good Luck
2006-08-11 12:48:50 · answer #2 · answered by Shay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Risk what? I think you are asking that question a tad bit too late. Didn't you already risk everything when you got into bed with another women?
As for your girlfriend you are obviously bored, so yes it is time to move on. Her being your first relationship, I understand why you have held on so long. But they are more fish in the sea, and it looks like you need to explore. It's not fair to your girlfriend either-she has a life that she needs to live too!
As for the other girl, well that is up to you-all comes down to what your morals are. If she had an affair with you, what makes you think she won't have an affair when she's with you? If I were you, I'd let them both go and start fresh, but first, I'd take a lot of time to myself. Since it was a 5 year relationship(which is fairly long) and your first you are going to have a hard time and you are going to need to take time for yourself. Break ups are hard, yes, but they teach you so much about yourself. Eventually you will find the one, and you won't need nor want to have affairs!
Good Luck!
2006-08-11 12:34:53 · answer #3 · answered by xochewyx 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your girlfriend what is going on and break up with her. At this point you are not the type of man your girlfriend deserves. She deserves a man who is thinking about her alone. Your thoughts of this other girl and your unfaithfulness is not right. Break up with your girlfriend because she is not who you want; you want that other girl! Let your girlfriend go free so she can find a man who will treat her the way she deserves to be treated. Oh and by the way once you start a relationship with that other girl there will NEVER be 100% trust because of how you guys started the relationship. You fu*cked up big time!
2006-08-11 12:24:49 · answer #4 · answered by strawberries 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having a girlfriend is not a binding relationship. Maybe dating at an early age was too early. You dated her too early to know what would happen when you were teens. Perhaps it would have been better to remain really close friends and to avoid sleeping with her. You should decide who you could make a better commitment with. It would be difficult to break up with your current girlfriend. Maybe you attraction to the second one is more true.
2006-08-11 12:24:49 · answer #5 · answered by John B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your relationship with your current girlfriend seemed to be over before you even met this girl. Move on from both of them, because it sounds like none of these relationship is working out.
2006-08-11 12:21:51 · answer #6 · answered by vudu2424 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ahhhhhhh! You need to date other people. Be honest with the girlfriend and tell her you need a break. You should have done that the first time! The other girl has moved on it seems. You can always try talking to her and if she isn't interested at least you'll know.
2006-08-11 12:22:55 · answer #7 · answered by ????? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be true to yourself, and to the people you've been involved. It's really unfair to the girlfriend you are currently with, and well... this is true: what goes around, comes around. Don't build up on the bad karma you already have... start making a difference, and follow your heart, but by being honest, with both girls, and with yourself.
2006-08-11 12:17:52 · answer #8 · answered by ljgalvan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they bothe were drowning and you could only save one...who would it be?
Sometimes in a relationship after so long, it becomes boring so a new person is exciting, but if you leave the old you may realize the grass wasnt greener....
2006-08-11 12:19:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on. If not just for yourself, for your girlfriend. If you still love and care about your g/f you should want her to be with someone that truely loves and cares about her....you are mentally over the relationship I think.
2006-08-11 12:17:59 · answer #10 · answered by Amanda B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok i think to begin you are a player andshouldnt have done it but i mean if you really like yur girl stay with her but you need to tell her what you did that is ****** up and i think that you need to get your *** down on your hans and kees and beg er to stay with you after all you have doen to her that is pretty ****** up forget about the other girl and just think of all the great things about your girlfriend
the girl you have now wants you go get her and dont screw it up
2006-08-11 12:21:35 · answer #11 · answered by blondie 4 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋