i have been with my partner since valentines day of 2001. i want to marry, he is against it. always some outragous excuse. he trreats me like gold, and does everything to make me happy , but he wont budge on this one.
i am afraid of being old and never having the chance to be married. and alot of people that i know that are married , think i am crazy to want to be married.
2006-08-11 12:09:52 · 25 answers · asked by Pussycat 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ask him this coming valentines day.....if he says no look for someone who will be respectful of your feelings.
2006-08-11 12:18:17 · answer #1 · answered by ? 1 · 2⤊ 3⤋
I've heard that 2 years is the right amount of time to wait for a proposal. Chances are that if he doesn't ask you by then, he's having doubts if you are the one. Sorry to say that, but I think so many women stay in relationships that are going nowhere for way too long. I have a friend who's been with a guy for 11 years, and he still hasn't asked her because he says he's still not sure. She's 30, and wants to have children, and he's never going to marry her. I've told her again and again that she needs to move on, but she won't listen. Some girls settle like that, and it's not right.
I don't think you're crazy to want to be married. Marriage is great. It's a lot of work, especially when you've been together for a long time, but it's worth it. Women need security, and marriage is a good way to get it. We need our men to be committed, and a good way for a man to show he is truly committed is to marry the woman he loves. It's really a blessing to both, because it keeps both people practicing better behavior.
Just remember the 2 year rule. If he hasn't asked you by then, he'll probably never want to get married. Some guys hold on to the woman they're with so they won't be alone while they're already looking for somebody else. I think that if you truly want marriage, you need to be honest about how important it is to you to be married, and set a time limit. Clearly state you'll give him another six months, and if he still hasn't made his decision, you'll have to move on and find someone who wants to be married as much as you do. Then make sure to follow through. This will make you much happier in the long run. Good luck to you.
2006-08-11 12:30:03 · answer #2 · answered by .......... 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you're not crazy. Five years is a long time. My aunt says five years is the max (cause you can find out everything you need to know about a partner in that time). I wanted to be an honest woman with my husband. We were engaged in 2004 and married this past May. IF it were me, which it's not, if he says out right he's against marriage- I'd give him the walking papers. Don't give him an altimatum, he may resent you and if he does propose you'll be on pins and needles until he says "I do" and it'll come up in every arguement afterwards how "he didn't even want to get engaged/married and you pushed him into it". Hope everything works out for you.
2006-08-11 12:51:39 · answer #3 · answered by Phoenixsong 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have been with my partner for 13 years. I used to want to get married but he didn't. After a while I came to realise that I should be happy just to have a loving partner who treats me nice and respects me. I now feel the same as him what is marriage going to change? Nothing we will still love each other the same but we would have a piece of paper to say that we do.
2006-08-11 12:37:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
What do you think you'll find in marriage that you can't have not being married to this guy? If you both trust each other, and enjoy each others presence, if you enjoy your conversations and share hobbies, why bother changing it after all this time? You think that the papers you sign when getting married grants you that those feelings are forever? Why do you think divorce was invented for? Get real! If the love will fade away what's the point to spend on lawyers when you can simply pack your bags?(this goes both ways)
If you want to get married just to be Mrs. ............., and he doesn't want to , move on. Do not be superficial to what is important to you.
2006-08-11 12:45:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
You have went above and beyond the realistic limit for a proposal. Just simply give him an ultimatum TODAY for any deadline you wish (say 90 days or so) and you will know what the intent was all along. If I were u I would leave right now no matter what. It's apparent he wasn't serious all along and you have spent valuable time with him that you or him can't pay back. 5 years is a really long time.
2006-08-11 12:15:07 · answer #6 · answered by djprall 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Don't worry about it, you will probably have lots of chances to get married and divorced and married again. It is apparently the new American pastime. Marriage doesn't mean a damned thing, be happy you are with someone that treats you right or move on.
2006-08-11 12:12:33 · answer #7 · answered by tm_tech32 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If all is well in your relationship and you cant see being with someone else you have 3 options. 1 you can get relationship counseling. 2 you can go the old fashioned route move into your own place and cut off the sex. 3 you can let him know that this really means the world to you and that you may have to move on if he is never going to be able to be on the same level.
Good Luck
2006-08-11 12:14:11 · answer #8 · answered by comm2nd 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Let's see. He won't marry you, but I bet he likes to play house. He won't budge on the issue of marriage. Now, there's a big red flag with flashing lights! Compromising to please you is ridiculous to him.
He is not treating you like gold. You just think he is gold. He ain't shinin' at all, but he has charmed you to the point that you believe he "does everything to make [you] happy."
Did he ask you to marry him?
2006-08-11 13:18:44 · answer #9 · answered by divabylaw 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
either he wakes up soon or you leave him..you can find someone else that treats you like gold and will marry you. this is a very issue to not feel the same about.
perhaps saying that you'll leave him will wake him up. explain to him that you want to be married and you want to find someone that will marry you. and that you'd like to marry him but if he doesn't want the same you have to let him go.
2006-08-11 12:44:16 · answer #10 · answered by Laur 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems that you will have to make up your mind about what you want most. You either want him and will settle for staying single, or you want to get married and must leave him to find someone.
Take stock of your situation now. What do you want from life? Can you get it without being married?
2006-08-11 12:14:28 · answer #11 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋