Today I recently made the comment that Butch lesbians have gender idenity issues and that they want to be men. The thing is that I am an incredibly open minded person and once I realized how ignorent, rude and incorrect the statment was I immediatly felt horrible. What bothers me the most is that I am normally very accepting of other people's differences and I would never have pegged myself as the type of person who would harbor any kind of ignorent opinion towards anyone. I love the gay community and I am a huge supporter of gay rights. The fact that I could even make a statement like that shocked me and I feel really bad. I realized as soon as I said it that it was wrong. So what can I do to ensure that I never make the horrible mistake of steretyping people and of assumming that I know what their gender issues are ,or even if they have any at all.
2006-08-11 12:06:33 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I actually am extremely open minded and progressive person and I would never knowingly discriminate against anyone. I was however shocked that I would even think something like this. My family is so "religious" and homophobic I am usually always at odds with them because of my liberal stance so this comment really took me by surprise. I find it disappointing that a discriminatory thought about gays even crossed my lips.
2006-08-11 14:31:52 · update #1
A lot of people make that stereotype. Good for you that you recognized it!! I once heard a butch woman say "I love being a woman, I don't have gender issues. Besides why would I want to give up multiple orgasms just to be able to pee standing up." I thought that was great! I date "butch" women, none of them wanted to be men, I have never dated a ftm cause I want to be with women. Just remember that the way a person looks is about being comfortable, not all women are comfortable in dresses and makeup. Haven't you ever met a straight tomboy? The fact that you are aware and wanting to rectify already makes you so much better than many others. we all make the mistake of stereotyping once in a while. Just be aware, and stop to think first, your on the right track already!
2006-08-11 12:18:52 · answer #1 · answered by NoBoysAllowed! 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well i think that just by you realizing that what you said was wrong is a big step in stopping... Because now you will watch what you say b4 you say it... Not all Butch Women want to be men.. for example I guess i am considered a Stud or butch to some, but i love being a women, and i love being a women... but then there are some women and men also that just dont feel right in there own bodies... But every person is different... no one is the same... but i think you have taken a big step just by knowing or admiting what you said was wrong... no one is perfect.... but we can strive to be....
2006-08-11 20:24:46 · answer #2 · answered by T@J 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm. Were you trying to impress someone that may have negative views about gay people? I know, allot of times I've said things that were out of character because I was trying to impress someone. I think that it's good that you recognized it when you said it. Usually, when I say something that I realize is wrong (which is often) I try and correct myself right there by saying something like "I don't know why I just said that." or "I didn't really mean that." Then I'll say what my actual opinions are. Sometimes the person I'm talking to will be irritated by my remarks or my "change of heart" but that's their problem, not mine.
2006-08-11 19:53:46 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The point that I usually make is,even if the "butch" female looks to some as she would rather be male,unless she is having a sex change,the fact remains that when her clothes come off,she is,indeed very much a woman. I don't think any woman wants to be male,unless it's a tg woman,then ,that's different. WHY would we want to be male? We can do wonderful things with our bodies that men cannot do. We can make babies,and make food to feed the babies,what could be more amazing than that? Who would want to be a mere man? ( For those who are wondering,I am not a butch lesbian,I am bi,and not butchy,but if I were,I'd be totally cool with that.)
2006-08-11 20:46:52 · answer #4 · answered by dragonfly 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First, do you know any "butch lesbians?" If not try to make friends with one and get to know the person, not the label. Because you are kind of right. Some butch lesbians do have gender issues. But there is so much more to it than that.
2006-08-11 19:21:05 · answer #5 · answered by davisss81 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You had better make your time count when you the topic comes up again. YOU can't go back and undo the harm that you have already done, but the GLBT community is rather resilient when it comes to forgiving people.
Be cognizant of your words, actions and feelings. Good luck!
2006-08-11 21:07:12 · answer #6 · answered by Active Denial System™ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reach out and hug a "butch" today! Seriously, doll, get to know some lesbians(whether she's butch or femme)and you'll realize that we're all cool!:)
2006-08-11 19:29:43 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we need to stereotype in order to gain sanity in our mind.
don't feel bad. Even the most compassionate doctor psychologist/psychiatrist have to stereotype otherwise understanding behaviours is impossible.
Being too accepting is called indifference.
don't feel bad. it was an innocent mistake.
2006-08-11 19:53:59 · answer #8 · answered by Langdon 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont beat yourself about it- **** happens... I am sure that this comment would not be held against you. Gay people have had worse thrown at them, just live your life and be happy. I forgive you...
2006-08-11 20:13:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know stop being human i think that might work.
2006-08-11 19:11:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋