I will give you ten points if you make me laugh!?

Question

i am soo bored i will. if nothing is funny too bad.

Answer 1

Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and
> go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt
> Jane in a passionate embrace.
> Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could not contain himself as

> he ran home and started to tell his mother,"Mommy, I was at the playground

> and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane . I went back to
> look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big Kiss, then he helped her take off
> her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt
> Jane..... "
> At this point Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an
> interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I
> want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."
> At the dinner table, Mommy asked little Johnny to tell his story. Johnny
> started his story, "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into

> the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane

> a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped
> Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same
> thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the Army."
> Mommy fainted!...
> THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS:
> Sometimes you need to listen to the whole story before you interrupt.

Answer 2

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

Answer 3

While watching sports the other night, a man and his wife were discussing life and death. He told his wife, "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and relying on fluids from a bottle.
If that ever happens, Just pull the plug!"
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His wife promptly got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of his beer! :)

Answer 4

Dookie Dookie fo Fookie Banana nana of tookie fee fi o lookie DOOKIE

Answer 5

Tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle

Answer 6

ROFLMAOFLMAOFLMAOFLMAOFLMAOFLMAOFLMAOFLMAO