What do you think?

Question

When I first met my fiance he told me he was very close friends with his ex-girlfriend whom he was with in 1998-99. He said they talked several times a week. He said she had tried to get back w/ him a couple of times in the past but he never did because he wasn't interested. I felt very uncomfortable with the fact he was so close with her and put my foot down, I said either she goes or I go. He chose me and said he was going to tell her he couldn't talk to her anymore. But up until then he still had a picture of her on his dresser. After I gave him the ultimatum he said he threw out a bunch of things and I saw that the pic of her was gone.
Do you think I was justified in telling him she had to go? Do you think it was appropriate for him to continue his close relationship with her once he and I got serious?

Thanks for the great answers so far, everyone! Keep 'em coming! :) :)

Sorry I forgot an important point- before he stopped talking to her, I had called him one night after class and he said "I'm on another call, can I call you back in a few minutes" then about 10 minutes later he called me back. He said he had been talking to her. I think it was wrong for him to blow me off to talk to her. What do you think?

Answer 1

You were right to help him put her in the past. He had been hanging on too long. Normally I would say you should not put the pressure on him like that, but in this case it was correct.

You made him take action to move forward, not backward. In the long run it will be better for him no matter what.

Answer 2

Wow this sounds like deja vu. Me and my gf went through the same thing only thing i was still ******* my ex. She was the better looking of the two and for some reason i just couldnt let her go for the fear of losing the hottest girl I had ever been with. No im not a sleeze ball and Im actually an educated guy with real worries and worldy concerns but i still couldnt give her up you should stick to your guns cause it could be a lot more between them than you realize.

Answer 3

i think it was right for u to put ur foot down because u were uncomfortable with the situation, but if ur fiance has tried to include u in the friendship it might be a little unfair

Answer 4

Out with the old, in with the new. I think you were well withinh your bounds to expect loyalty and devotion to you from him. You handled it in a very respectful way. Don't ever be second fiddle, unless of course, you're in an orchestra!

Answer 5

You handled it beautifully. With this ex trying to get back together with him, you knew she felt more for him than a friendship. He knows exactly where you stand and what you will and will not tolerate.

Answer 6

you were right. why does he need her in his life if he is not interested anymore? makes no sense. No, it was NOT right for him to continue to talk to her while ya'll were together/ getting serious.

Answer 7

Yes it was innapropriate. He is with you and she still was trying to be with him. I would ngive the ultimatum too!

Answer 8

is he ok, now that he is with you and he dont talk to her anymore?
i think if you have an ex, they should be out of your life. this is my opinion.

Answer 9

she's got to go, he should already know that....no cake and eat it too, buddy

Answer 10

WELL IF ITS SERIOUS YALL HAVE TO MAKE SACRIFICES AND HE DID HIS
SO THERE
NOW...........
JUST BE HAPPY