my hb and i have a 4month old my hb says i am onry all the time how can i relievestess and be happy with my hb

Question

my hband i have a verry loving relationship but since we had our baby nothing is the same i dont feel as happy and fun loving as i did before my hb never helps me with the baby i stay home and take care of him and my niece i feel overhelmed and angry my hb and i hardly speek and spend time together we are both onry and he does his thing and i do my we only see eachother at dinner and in bed our fun is watching tv together how can we save our marrage and make it fun again

Answer 1

For starters, it's not you guys -- EVERYBODY goes through this with a new baby. So don't think there's something wrong with him, with you, or with the marriage.

Second, it's temporary. Babies get bigger, become kids, then teenagers. True, you have a whole new set of headaches with each stage, but the new-baby thing goes away.

So how do you keep your sanity through the new-baby period? The most important thing is the two of you have to be in this TOGETHER. This means your husband can take a turn with the baby now and then, either feeding your little one or getting up when he cries in the middle of the night.

Although it scared the heck out of us at the time, the best thing that ever happened to us was that our first baby had to spend three days in an intensive care unit. She ended up being fine, but it meant that with our first child, my wife and I spent virtually every waking moment in a room with intensive care nurses. So we learned EVERYTHING we needed to know about how to take care of the new baby -- how to give her a sponge bath, how to change her clothes, how to hold her and feed her and the works. Is it possible your husband doesn't know HOW to help with the baby? Or is he concerned it's not manly enough? :-)

Something not many people know (we certainly didn't till we had kids) is that it's common for new moms to get to the point where they're just sick of being touched. Babies take SO much contact (especially if you're breastfeeding) that the mom has had ENOUGH by the end of the day. That's part of your overwhelmed and angry feeling. You can lessen some of that by having your husband take a turn. And rather than nag at him and bug him about it (which makes it work for nobody), take a tip from animal trainers and reward him when he DOES rather than punishing him when he doesn't. Could be just a little thing, but make sure it's consistent.

And finally... Once you get some relief from the constant stress of watching two kids all day, make a bargain with your sister (I'm guessing your niece is your sister's baby?) and have her watch YOUR son for a few hours, while you and your husband do something you used to enjoy before kids -- dinner and a movie, bowling, miniature golf, whatever, as long as it's something silly and fun where you'll enjoy yourselves AND each other.

Answer 2

I have a 7-week-old so to a point, I can understand the feeling overhwhelmed and even angry. I know there's times when I can't understand why hubby won't get up when the baby's crying and, frankly, I'm so tired I can't see straight! I've also been taking care of my two step children (ages 6 and 11, the oldest being autistic, high functioning but has the attitude from hell) and trying to keep my business going. It seems like the least he could do is let me sleep through at least one feeding (our son is on formula) at night!

The fact is, our lives have changed dramatically but he's not able to see it as clearly as he's not the one home dealing with everything all day like you and I are. His routine is relatively the same... he gets up, goes to work, comes home (where I either have dinner ready or pretty much done), plays with the kids a little then it's bath time (which I take care of) and then we get the kids in bed. I'm falling into bed myself about that time but he's checking his e-mails, etc. Same ol' routine for him! New life for me!

Maybe you should try sitting down with your husband and talk with him about how you're feeling. I know I did and it's made a world of difference. He admitted he didn't realize how much our son had changed my routine. We now get a sitter once every other week and get out for dinner. We have one rule... no talking about work or the kids. Also, he now is taking charge of some of the other household duties to give me a little time to myself. It's been a lifesaver for me... and our relationship.

Good luck!

Answer 3

when you have a baby, things do change. both need to take care of your child together. time to sit down together and find out how to get help , so neither ; you or him are feeling being overwhelmed.
try and find what you both want in this relationship. you are both parents now.
relieve the stress by doing exercises. or taking a bath or just walking. and then sit and talk to hb how you feel and how to work this out. get his thoughts.
good luck, this is hard times. but will get better after you talk and figure this out TOGETHER.

Answer 4

that is completely complicated being me. I moved 3 years in the past.. from an outstanding existence! President of the category, honor pupil, quite common (no longer to gloat) yet become getting quite common.. person-friendly to loaf round with. First boyfriend, become turning 13 and a young person. I had the existence! Then I moved.. I had to study in English for the first time, my first language is English yet i become residing in a Spanish usa the position I realized Spanish and spoke it fluently. I were given undesirable grades, made no associates, become very diverse.. outcast, anti-social. issues are growing extra effective yet i'm no longer some thing like i become and that i ask your self everyday what ought to have surpassed off if I stayed. yet properly, it become complicated to getting used to. Plus my hormones and all that.. i wanted my associates round, yet I ha no human being. i'm 15 with the aid of ways, so certain.. very complicated.

Answer 5

Take it easy on yourself. Have you talked to your doctor about any of this? Sounds like you could have a form of post-partum depression. It really is more common than you would think. You doctor can check your hormone levels and determine how to treat it. Before you get too drastic in your behavior and blame your husband you need to see a doctor.

Answer 6

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U R REALLY CONFUSING