A few months ag, I found my wife was still in contact with a man she had quite an affair with. I became very angry at her and said, go live with him, I want a divorce. She said she will not agree to that. Today the cell bill comes in the mail, I see she is talking with him yet again. Its his work phone now. I see the calls last for a minute. Its like there trying to hide his phone number by using his office phone. I also assume my wife gets his message and retuns or calls him from her office too. I have tried and tried to put our marrige back together, I have given every chance to the same. I feel like I was just dumped on again. I know they think there getting away with this , and I am unsure if they try to see eachother when possible. What is the best possible way to confront her. I find this the day before we leave on vacation. Do I confront her before we go? Do I confront her when we get home? Either way, I think I want to seperate for a while. This woman has put me thru hell.
2006-08-11 11:31:11 · 13 answers · asked by paulsexpress 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It looks like your vacation is ruined no matter when you decide to talk. If you talk before leaving, you will not feel like going with her. If you talk while on vacation, you will fight and have a bad time. If you wait until you get home, you will explode from trying to keep it all bottled up.
Show her the phone bill. Ask what is going on. There really isn't a good reason for her to stay in contact with that guy.
You are a good person to give her another chance when you found out the first time about the affair. Most spouses would not do that. Now she is hurting you again. This is no way to live.
A marriage has to be based on truth, and you cannot believe her. It should be based on trust, and you cannot trust her. It should be based on love, and I'm not sure you could ever love her enough to keep trying.
I suggest you go ahead and show her the phone bill now. Your vacation is ruined either way. Just find out quickly and make your decision. At the very least you need to separate to give you a break from the stress.
2006-08-11 11:39:36 · answer #1 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, based on your other questions its my opinion you are married to a lying, conniving B****. You have no chance to put a marriage back together with anyone who pulled the crap she has. Do not go on vacation. Throw her A$$ out the door and let her use the time to find a place to live. Put your life back in order.
When you get a moment ask her if she is still cheating. She says
no tell her she is lying. Tell her to get the "F" out of your house.
Give her say 5 minutes to gather some clothes and then get her out ! Do not be violent or raise a hand. Tell her she is not welcome and apparently has someplace to go and you do not. She must go.
Everyone is entitled to a second chance. She spent hers.
2006-08-11 12:04:40 · answer #2 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does she not want a divorce? Is she afraid of loosing her THINGS or not having enough money to support herself if he doesn't take her back? Sounds to me like they are contacting each other to make arrangements to meet. If you truely want a divorce do not wait for her to say ok, just go see a lawyer. Personally I'd go on vacation without her. However that's probably not wise because she may move him in while you're gone, so ignore that suggestion.
2006-08-11 11:37:19 · answer #3 · answered by arvecar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Skip the "vacation" with this woman. I say "woman" because she certainly is not your wife except in name only. Instead of going on a vacation with this person, file for a divorce today. The woman has no character. I just hope you have no kids with her that will be harmed by having their home split up.
2006-08-11 11:36:26 · answer #4 · answered by papricka w 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try and enjoy the vacation first...otherwise why go. Maybe just before it ends or soon after confront her and let her know how unhappy and serious this situation is to you. Relate how you are loosing trust and faith in her and would she like it if the shoes were reversed.
Try very hard to not let your emotions dictate the discussion...you are looking for the truth and honesty here...not blame. Study her answers and demeanor and then decide what's best for you.
The situation is tough...but to thine own self be true...and love yourself first.
2006-08-11 11:42:38 · answer #5 · answered by Robere 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront her before you spend money on a vacation. Separate until you figure out if you want to work it out or get a divorce.
2006-08-11 11:37:20 · answer #6 · answered by Arcadia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hire a detective or somehow get proof that she's having the affair. File for divorce. She can't refuse a divorce if you are doing it for cause.
Don't confront her, just leave.
2006-08-11 11:46:01 · answer #7 · answered by mrpeabody 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen there is nothing you can do with a woman like that except let her have her fun . I just hope you dont have kids . I suggest you document everything with the help of a detective and when you get it all together you ask for your divorce no fuss!
2006-08-11 11:45:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take your vacation and leave her at home-when you come back find the best lawyer that you can afford and dump the slut-no one should have to put up with crap like that.
2006-08-11 11:36:26 · answer #9 · answered by SidTheKid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My honest opinion if your wife is still keeping in touch with this man. She may still may be having the affair. You can either talk to her about it again, or follow your instints.
2006-08-11 11:35:45 · answer #10 · answered by Cocoa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋