person and when I see some guy that I don't know at the beach or whatever, I make up this person that he supposedly is with no faults etc. How the hell do I stop? And why do I do it?
2006-08-11 11:29:51 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
STOP IT NOW! just sstooooooopita!
2006-08-11 11:31:25 · answer #1 · answered by bsktballchik 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hey! There's nothing wrong with making them perfect in your mind! We all have our fantasies and first impressions of other people.
The first step is to recognize that you're doing it. (And you're recognizing that now! That's pretty mature, I think!)
Whether you're online or in real life, don't give too much information about yourself at first, because you don't know who the person really is.
If you decide to actually meet the person, for example, someone you meet at the beach, spend time getting to know the person. When you find that they have their own strengths and weaknesses, make it a point of accepting them for who they really are. And then use your best judgement about what information you reveal about yoruself.
2006-08-11 18:50:42 · answer #2 · answered by Joe_D 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It happens to me all the time. You start clicking right away with someone, and immediately picture them as perfect. Well, firstly, let's remember that... people are not always as they seem. Even if they are good candidates for you, when you meet someone in person, it's not the same as if you meet someone online. Online people can have completely different attitudes, since there's the whole "you-can't-see-me" issue.
If you really like someone, don't picture him/her as perfect. Act coolly, go out with other people and pick your best candidate. Sort of an MTV's "Next" or "Dismissed" except not that shallow.
You're worth it. Let others see that by themselves, by being yourself.
2006-08-11 18:39:42 · answer #3 · answered by ljgalvan 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A lttle harmless fantasy is good once in a while... but somehow you seem to want to automatically envision people as what you feel is the ideal person... it sounds like you are searching for someone, and can't find the right person because you already have made up this pre-conceived notion of who or what they should be, before you even get to know them.
I suggest taking people one at a time...get to know as much as possible about them before formulating any idealistic scenarios about them...then when you find someone you like, you can pursue that relationship, whatever it may be, knowing exactly who they are. And that will be more fun than fantasizing.
2006-08-11 18:39:24 · answer #4 · answered by answerman63 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are a positive, optimistic person. You see the cup half ful.
I think I'm somewhat the same way. I don't think I could change that part of me.
You give the benefit of the doubt.
Just keep your sensors alert in case someone gives you an indication he isn't what you thought.
Proceed with caution in all situations, knowing that you see things this way.
Good luck!
2006-08-11 18:37:30 · answer #5 · answered by lorgurus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's normal, but just be careful. With the person online, keep in mind that their looks could be opposite of what you imagine and proceed accordingly. Thinking that a good looking person has no personality or character flaws is more dangerous. You need to be able to separate wishful thinking from reality.
2006-08-11 18:45:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop falling into that trap! I am suspicious of anyone I do not know....Not in a bad way but I'm mentally on orange alert most of the time for self defense (physically or emotionally). I guess I'm just like that having taken Martial Arts.
2006-08-11 18:52:32 · answer #7 · answered by down2earthsmiles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its completely normal and to some extent or another, it is impossible to stop. You brain will naturely 'fill in the blanks' about anything. This is how we overcome the blind spot in our vision, it is why we rationalize things, it is even why religon was created. All to make 'truths' out of unknowns.
You might be able to modify your behavior by trying to paint a picture of these unknowns as really bad, picture them as fat, or funny looking, instead of perfect.
2006-08-11 18:33:53 · answer #8 · answered by tm_tech32 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you do it...wishful thinking is why
everyone has his/her faults, no one is perfect
and what's perfect to one person is not to another.
Focus on the good qualities of a person, but don't turn a blind eye to their quirks. this will even out to a realistic view of what the person is really like.....And a person's looks are sometimes totally irrelevant to their real personality
2006-08-11 18:41:33 · answer #9 · answered by petsrus2002 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
nothing wrong with that. everyone fantasizes. perfectly normal. the thing that bothers you is you feel let down because they don't live up to your superficial ideas. but just remember that. they're just superficial ideas. so the thing is NOT to EXPECT them to be the way you idealize them in your mind. find the balance. cause the truth is we all do it, (well i do) and it won't stop. (i don't even want it too). just learn to draw the line between fantasy and reality.
2006-08-11 18:37:57 · answer #10 · answered by vanessa w 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is because we all like to dream that Mr or Miss Perfect are out there
We just have to be able to sort out the fact from the fantasy
Have a great day
2006-08-11 18:33:13 · answer #11 · answered by witchfromoz2003 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋