I want to divorce my husband of a year, I was never in love with him and made a mistake?

Question

I met my husband and we were so crazy about each other we got engaged after dating for 3 months.

We got married 7 months later and the wedding plans were so rushed that I didn't really think about my feelings.

I felt like I wasn't really in love with him, but that it was just "cold feet."

We got married after knowing each other for 10 months.

After our wedding I realized that I didn't even know him.

We have nothing in common and although he is a sweet person, I don't feel attracted to his personality or him at all.

I know now that I was never in love with him and just really wanted a stable home life.

I told him a month after our wedding how I felt, but he won't let me leave because he still loves me.

We have been struggling to keep our marriage together for over a year and went to counseling too.

I know counseling won't make me fall in love with him.

How long do I have to try to make it work before I can leave?

I was never in love with him.

We don't have any children.

Answer 1

How sad --- Leave him now so he can have a shot at happiness with someone else!!! You do not deserve him!! He is too good for you!

Answer 2

How can you be 'crazy' about someone then not be in love with him? Were you just horney? Sorry but the two statements don't agree with each other.

However, tell him you will give it so long, come to an agreement about how long. I did the same thing, only I married a friend because I could not fall in love at all. He told me I owed him four years to try to make it work, after four years I left, and it took over ten years after that to be able to be friends of sorts with him again (we did have a child).

Is he afraid of being alone?

Sorry for being so harsh.

Answer 3

I think in part you answered one of your own questions as such;

"How long do I have to try to make it work before I can leave?"
In a true relationship you should not have to try at all...

you may already realise this but the longer you leave it whilst feeling the way you do the harder it will get.

on the other hand you can look at what gets you down and try to re-vamp the way you do things alone and together,

dont know if this has helped but hope what ever you decide to do works out right for you

Good luck!!!!
Scotty Boy

Answer 4

Um you just need to be strong and tell him that you are leaving. You cannot just stay to make him happy. You have to put yourself first. You cannot limit yourself to life just to please him or not hurt him. If anything you are hurting him by stayiong longer and dragging it out. I'm neither one of you see it that way but you should just step up and get out. You have no kids, you guys have not been together for a really long time, if you want to go then go! Don't wait longer and longer. It is wasted time if you are not where you want to be in life. Good luck!

Answer 5

It is not his choice to "let you leave" or not. It is your choice. Leave now before you do have a child. If it is possible, go home to your parents. Get a divorce. If you want to see him after that, fine. Just don't let him talk you into anything. However, you would be better off not seeing him at all.

Answer 6

If you have no kids just leave, but if you have children you should trey to work it out. But know this, children or no children you deserve to be happy.

know that when you get married the first 5 years are very very hard though, it could just be normal what yuor feeling.

Answer 7

I am you, 6 years later. I am currently seperated b/c I was unhappy, had nothing in common, and was scared to hurt him. But I promise dragging it out only makes it harder. Be done with this chapter so you can both move on to the next chapter in your lives and move forward to find happiness. It will happen for you both, but please dont waste his time or yours any longer. Good luck, I know this is hard!

Answer 8

This sounds so much like my life. If you don't love him, if counseling didn't help you, and if you are miserable, LEAVE NOW. I spent almost 3 years being miserable. My situation was almost exactly like yours. As soon as I got out I was much happier and not depressed anymore.

Answer 9

Go ahead rip his heart out. Then jump up and down on it.
There was something there or you would not have agreed to get married unless you were a shallow immature little girl who was playing at love. You deserve lots of unhappiness. I fear you will share it with him soon.

Answer 10

Interesting, your tale differers from your other question where you said you were together 5 years, yet here you're saying differently... How does it feel to be exposed as a fake?