I am 7 months pregnant and found out a few days ago that he has been lying about his ex-girlfriend.They have been paying each others bills. She lives in a different state. He said he has came clean but i have caught him in several lies since then. I talked to her today, she says they are just friends and I have nothing to worry about. I should still marry him. What should i do?
2006-08-11 11:04:50 · 16 answers · asked by bettie_rose_c12 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Once a liar always a liar ---run, run far away! If he will lie to you about that, he will lie to you about anything!! Good luck sweetie!
2006-08-11 11:10:18 · answer #1 · answered by jiffypop88 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course you shouldn't marry him!! Come on you are talking about a life here! Once someone shows you their character you believe them!! This isn't a game, why are you having a kid with someone you haven't married yet?? Thats a human being you are creating, not a toy and not a temporary situation, that is a future member of society and deserves the best chance for success he or she can have!! This is a no brainer but in case you are still wondering here is some stuff to think about before marrying anyone...
Consider marriage when you have been together long enough to be out of the infatuation stage. When you have discussed ALL the issues involved in life after the wedding like finances, division of household labor, children, in laws, where to live, jobs, time away with friends, and a million other things you haven't thought of. After all of that you consider each part of the vows, and what you consider is the difficult side of them, anybody can be happy when things are going well so,
richer or poorer....still want to be with them in a shack with crackers ala peanut butter for dinner...for the fourth night in a row?
sickness and health...they develop a chronic physical or mental illness and can't get around and can't work, still want to be there?
better or worse...they are in a car accident and you have to spend the rest of your life feeding them and changing their diapers, still want to be married?
keep yourself only to him or her, can you REALLY only have sex with only that person until you die?
THIS is what marriage is, not a fairy tale where everything goes well everyday, the one guarantee you have is that things WILL go wrong. Remember, you answer all these questions after you have passed infatuation, after you know what their bad points are (yes they have some and so do you) and still consider it anyway.
If you think you are up for all of this then maybe you should think about it. Don't forget to consider whether they would stick by you if it was you in any or all of the above scenarios. Check out the question posted here by married people and keep in mind that all of them thought this was the thing to do and the ONE for them when they got married too! There is a book called Lies At The Altar by Dr. Robin Smith, it helps you answer all this and go in to a marriage with your eyes wide open, if you aren't willing to consider all that then what you really want is a pretty ring and a nice party and lots of attention, have them but don't make that a basis for a LIFE. Good luck!
2006-08-11 11:19:37 · answer #2 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you've found yourself in this situation. Especially being 7 months pregnant with a man like that. Yes, if he's been lying to you, he will continue to. That is the type of man he is. There is no reason for him to be paying his ex's bills. He should be spending/saving every single penny for you and his baby. Of course his ex is going to say that there's nothing going on btwn. them...he's paying her bills!
You're right to be concerned and be distrustful of his word. Don't be surprised if you find out more in the future. Even a man that seems to be the PERFECT boyfriend can turn out to be the worst father/husband. Protect yourself now. Make sure you know his SSN. It's a pain trying to get child support. You need to be prepared for you and your child's sake. Good luck
2006-08-11 11:26:24 · answer #3 · answered by AB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the question should be "Can I ever trust him again?" I don't know how you feel about this, but I believe honesty is a very important part of the trust and love a couple should share.
It seems to me that the girl friend is the least of your worries. Why would your commit your life to someone who doesn't value you enough to tell the truth? You know things will only get worse after the marriage. At least you know that he is a liar, and if you go through with the wedding you should not be surprised when he lies more.
2006-08-11 11:14:40 · answer #4 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If all they're doing is paying each other's bills, that's not considered cheating. But...the fact that he lied about the nature of their relationship is something you have to resolve with him. The question you should be asking is: If he's lying now, what else is he going to lie about in the future? I say postpone the wedding until your issues are resolved.
2006-08-11 11:20:45 · answer #5 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't trust him. I would say definately don't marry him, they are obviously still way connected with each other, who knows what they are "really" doing. Even though they are in different states is still doesn't matter, they still could be together. Have the baby, but make sure he pays his portion since he has money to pay "her" bills. Good luck!
2006-08-11 11:14:40 · answer #6 · answered by Hydee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If all they're doing is paying each other's bills, then I think you're safe in marrying him. I would wait until the baby is born before doing that! Explain to him that marriage needs trust and if he can't be honest with you about this, what else is he lying about.
2006-08-11 11:12:45 · answer #7 · answered by hummingbird 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only thank you to coach he substitute into there with somebody else is to the two come across a chum he went with or locate the girl he went with. one thank you to possibly get him to admit is to press him for information relating to the day. while did he leave, who'd he have lunch with, substitute into he at one on line casino all day, why might he go on my own and be bored for hours on end? possibly in case you tell him you will extremely have all of it out interior the open now, so if he desires to admit you 2 can artwork it out (despite the fact that in case you do no longer think of you are able to) because of the fact once you spend all that money on a marriage, etc. and after time is going by applying you will get even angrier relating to the lies occurring for thus long. good success and God Bless.
2016-11-04 09:46:09 · answer #8 · answered by basinger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you postpone the marriage? Your guy sounds shady. You're slowly but surely discovering the truth about him... I'd say don't break up but don't get married yet... take your time but be aware of him... open your eyes & your ears & watch for the signs. But don't marry him yet- sorry you're already pregnant but I wish you hadn't got pregnant with him... I would be very careful about this guy if I were you.
2006-08-11 11:45:41 · answer #9 · answered by Bobbie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for you....how long have you been together? this is a question only u can answer this is complicating and you shouldnt make decisions that are rash.....take your time and the answer will come...i am going through something similar but it doesnt have anything to do with ex's look at my question from today that says....why does he do this to me. good luck and godbless you and your unborn child.
2006-08-11 11:31:30 · answer #10 · answered by Shana H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not marry this jerk. Get far away from him as possible. If they are showing signs now of lying, it will only get worse. Dump him now.
2006-08-11 11:13:40 · answer #11 · answered by Meow 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋