Are children too young for sex because of society?

Question

*Note: I am not a pedophile. I am not attracted to children, and I would kill myself before I would violate one. I'm just asking a simple question.*

Children who are molested suffer the after-effects for the rest of their lives. They feel guilty, and dirty, and they feel like they did something wrong and brought it on. Doesn't society make them feel that way? Society conditions them to believe that sex is a dirty thing, and it's wrong. If they were conditioned to believe that it was good and natural, they wouldn't have any adverse psychological effects (unless there were other factors, such as physical abuse). If someone hears of a pregnant 13-year-old, they might gasp, and say, "She's too young!" Actually, nature says she's not too young. She is physically able to get pregnant, she's reaching sexual maturity, so naturally, she's not too young.

I'm not aiming to make a particular point, just wanting to hear what you have to say. And please, leave your torches at home.

Answer 1

This is an unpopular point that I made in my sociology class.
If a little girl’s uncle shows her Mr. Tinkie-Wink and then walks away forever, what harm came to the child? Now, if that girl tells mom and dad, courts get involved, they take her to crisis counseling, they tell her that she was sexually abused. Now she has a bag of conflicting emotions, her uncle is in jail and forever labeled a pedophile. Now she has problems. Who harmed her, really?
I DO NOT think that that kind of behavior is acceptable! However, I do believe that the way we are socialized to handle the fallout of this kind of behavior, and the labels that we throw around are damaging and need to be looked at. The intention is spot on, but the process is what I question.
As for the too young for sex question, it is not so much society, but our socialization that that causes this conflict between nature and morals. In the past, children were not regarded as treasures. They were kept under foot and told their place from the day they learned to speak. If a child wanted the attention and respect that we doll on our children today, he would have to pull his weight in the home. Also, adult-like expectations were placed upon them much, much earlier.
We expected more from them and we considered them adults when they met these expectations, not when the calendar showed us a magic age. Yes, some ages were important, but not in the same flavor as today. Now we expect less of them. We caudle them. We artificially extended their maturation time for idealistic reasons. We tell ourselves that children shouldn’t have to worry about these things. We try to shield them from any negative experience out of misguided concerns for their psyche.
In the past, we let children fail until they made themselves succeed. They matured mentally at the same rate as biologically for this and other reasons. Today we have created customs that have stunted their mental maturation rate, but their biological maturity comes at the same age.

Answer 2

I suppose in a great part society has played a role in peoples beliefs. I believe in the past people "mated" or coupled much younger. It was not uncommon even in the early 1700-1800 for 15 and 16 year old to be married and start having families. I can only assume that natives of many cultures even today are marrying off their 13 year old daughters..as you noted the girl is obviously physically "ready" to conceive and bear children, then she is "old enough".
It probably had something to do with some moral movement, But i do have to admit in today's society that a 13 year old (most) while physically able to bear children, may lack the emotional stability to care for that child....as well as the ability to afford the support of a child, unlike the rural America of our past where the husband could make a living off of the land...land a young couple would probably receive as part of a "dowry" from their parents. Or a "native" tribe, where hunting and gathering is the norm.

Answer 3

i was molested from age 8 to 10 by a neighbor who was my best friends dad. there were, and still are effects, but they are minimal because i make them that way. i should say that i am male. on the other hand, my grandmother was married at 14 and it was no big deal back then. i worked with some people from denmark and it seems there is no real age limit for consentual sex there. they also dont have the pedophile problem we do. they also said that the us is the most prudish country theyve been to, at least in the free world, and theyve been to most all countrys. so yes , our society has a lot to do with it. when i was molested no one would have believed me because the guy was a preacher. now its the thing to do, which is good, but its socially acceptable. my grandfather would be put in prison if it were today. it wasnt a bad question,and i dont think your a pedophile. some people mature faster than others, its amazing when a kid of 16 has graduated from colledge, but they have no knowledge of sex? right or wrong, our society has alot to do with the way we think and its too bad. look at the way we are now.

Answer 4

The definition of child changes often. During the so called Biblical days, an individual of 13 was no longer a child. In fact, by 13 or 14, most men had fathered children and most women had carried at least one. Of course, the life expetancy at that time only averaged about 40, too. During the middle ages, if an individual had passed puberty, that individual was no longer a child, and could and probably was expected to produce children. Again, life expetancy was low and infant mortality was high. It has only been in the last 100 years or so that children are still considered children until age 18 or 21, depending on where you live. If you recall the prostitutes killed by Jack the Ripper, Mary Kelley was only 17, and had been a prostitute for 4 years. Most of the other women Jack killed were in their teens, and they were not considered children. I, for one, am glad that we allow our children to remain basically children until at least age 18, and I cringe every time I hear about a 13 or 14 year old who is pregnant. However, much of that is societal and not "natural"

Answer 5

To be honest, I don't understand why you don't know already, I'm not trying to be rude, but I don't. I have to say, that from personal experience, I know, so take my advice. Having sex as a child is definitely damaging, whether legal or illegal. A child isn't ready for sex at all, and to be violated is tragic and confusing. It really makes you have to grow up at an alarming rate, and you have no time to enjoy your childhood. If a 13 year old decides to have sex, she must not have been aware enough of the consequences of it... You know they say the parent's are always to blame, and sad enough, it is true. Two children having sex is a big mistake, because they have no idea what they are doing, they're doing it to fit in, out of curiousity, or other reasons. And usually they regret ever having their virginity taken at such a young age. Just because she is physically able to get pregnant, doesn't mean she is ready to take care of a child. Or deal with STDs. The kid's mothers end up taking care of the child. The child needs to be in school getting an education, but has to focus on a child? I don't think so... Well, I'll end it here, but if you have any questions you can email me..

Answer 6

For one simple reason: it's not a sport that the younger you practice the better you become at it. 18 may be a little too old, 13 way too young, but somewhere in between those ages would be ok to experiment.
Another issue lies in the fact that women mature quicker than men, so when a 13-yr-old girl is thinking about love & sex, the 13-yr-old boy has probably just wet his bed, and it will take him ten years to work out the difference between being horny and being in love.
And, finally, sex is like a drug: the more you have it, the more you want it (if it's good), and the less people will worry about making love. It's all in the wording, too: anyone can HAVE sex, MAKING love takes much more skill.

Answer 7

American children today have much less responsibility, much less adult supervision, and many more indulgences. Because of this, they stay in a prolonged adolescent state through an age that would have seen them producing offspring in past eras. The age of physical maturity has not had a similar retardation, however, so while today's youths reach sexual capability at similar ages as before, they are now conditioned to remain psychologically immature by society.

Answer 8

I think ya got a good point that others will not agree with.
Yes most ( not all ) depending on the age and maturity are to young.
I can see your point about society making them feel many different ways (mostly guilty, dirty and confused ) as they as a whole (society) puts their beliefs on the young person.
But you've hit on a very touchy subject and many have their views on when a younger person should have sex.
Every case is different and there are so many things to take into consideration.
I don't think everyone will ever agree.

Answer 9

Well, it is not a physical issue, it is an issue of emotional maturity. I think society is making children more emotional fragile today than in the past. Our fast paced environment constantly portrays a lifestyle of sex w/o consequences. This is quite wrong. I think children should be taught about sex and the responsibility that goes with it. The inability to cope is what leads to the psychological effects. Don't get me wrong...pediphiles have no place in our society. Curiosity between similar aged teens is going to happen. It would be better if they knew their responsibilities and consequences fully.

Answer 10

Yes, it is because of society. In fact, society is an artificial island created by us. If we see animals, it is quite natural that they are at liberty to fulfil their sexual need. After all, we are also animals but with knowledge which makes us conscious of our actions. Sex is a natural and biological need and we should get rid of the taboo attached to it. What we should stop is force and any kind of molestation. If a child indulges in sex and there has been no violence, we must not sensationlise and stigmatise it. Our civilisation will be judged by how we can handle sex and provide it a dignified status.