I'm a lesbian in a relationship with a woman who has 6 kids-i love her very much but her kids drive me crazy-they will not mind her or me.they cuss at her,will not listen to her,it's always been that way for her-not just because she's with me.
I was raised alot different-to respect people and alot of things.She left their father for me and i know they hate this relationship between us-i can understand their feelings concerning us.But they still make me wanta' just scream,i don't hate the kids just their ways.What should i do????????????????????
2006-08-11 10:54:20 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
A lez with 6 kids is as far as I got before laughing.
2006-08-11 10:57:34 · answer #1 · answered by 1diputs 4 · 0⤊ 4⤋
The fact is you are not their mother, and from your question I'm not even sure if you are living in the house. As a non-parent, you really don't have a position from which to discipline the children, so you have to leave this to your lover to sort out.
If you get to the point of moving in and adopting the kids, you WILL be a parent, and you will need to exercise discipline, having first developed the rules and boundries in co-operation with your partner.
However, be aware that whether gay or straight, for a good mother the kids will ALWAYS take precedence over a new lover. So if you are uncomfortable with playing second fiddle here, you'd better look at moving on to another relationship.
2006-08-11 21:42:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is difficult,but the only real way is to talk to your partner first. Those kids will be really afraid because as far as they are concerned their whole world has fallen apart because of you. If you and your partner are to last you need to present a united front. You BOTH need to believe in your relationship, then the kids will learn to respond more positively. They will start to see you in a more positive light as they will see how much you not only care for their mother, but how much you care for them. As for the father, well you can not blot him out and there will need to be some sort of communication with him. However you have to be careful about what he might say or the vibes he might give off to the kids. No one is saying it is easy, and that is why you have to start at the core of it - you and your partner. Then the rest will come together with time.
Good luck, my friend I think you are extremely brave.
2006-08-11 18:42:14 · answer #3 · answered by waggy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit her down and have a serious talk , Let her know how the children are disrespecting her and the way they talk to you . The two of you need to come up with a plan of action . The children need discipline and structure . Together you two can decide what types of punishment to implement for the offense . If you do not talk to her and decide what must be done about the abusive behavior the two of you will not have a chance together .
2006-08-11 19:17:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. You've got your hands full. But the two of you need to get into some parenting classes, or get some family counseling, including the kids. Check with your nearest agency of the Family Service Association, among others!
2006-08-11 20:50:36 · answer #5 · answered by michael941260 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If they are her kids, you cannot discipline them. You have no right and they will rebel. Sounds like she is feeling guilty about leaving their father. You are in a bad spot. Maybe everyone needs family counseling to get past the hurt and anger.
2006-08-11 18:56:25 · answer #6 · answered by M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit and have a talk with her. It is the only way to let her know how your really feeling make sure you tell her every thing. Make it clear that you still love her . It should help. Good luck......
2006-08-11 18:15:32 · answer #7 · answered by ladyjamie 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
As harassing as it may sound. There IS a difference between disapline and just random acts of hatred. Whip 'em in shape. Literally.
sorry if my opinion differs others...
2006-08-12 05:19:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with ladyjamie, but also 6 kids? what took her so long? I'd look more into this relationship
2006-08-11 18:21:55 · answer #9 · answered by Finally home 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just get with your girl and LAY DOWN THE LAW PUNISHMENTS WORK
if you disrespect any one you are gounden for 2 days
time out works with younger kids see i dont know the ages but just fig. something out that works best with each kid and there age levels
2006-08-14 10:34:59 · answer #10 · answered by crazzykid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
discipline them. they need to learn manners and respect for their mother. smack them lightly when tehy do things wrong, ground them when they cuss... what ever. just use civil discipline.
talk to her and get her to discipline them herself, as she is their mother.
make sure the kids get to see their father every once in a while, whether she likes it or not.
good luck!
2006-08-11 18:07:16 · answer #11 · answered by Getoutalive 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋