i lied to my girlfriend?

Question

ive lied to my girlfriend a few times now, weve been together 9 months and we love each other so much, we want to be together for life and we consider each other soulmates.

But i told her a few months ago about what my parents really did for a living and also i faked that i had an ex-gf when she was my first relationship. i dont know why i lied bcos they are silly minor things that mean nothing, but i lied and finally ive hidden from myself as ive always denied it, and from her, that i was a virgin when im not.

i had sex once before i met my gf with a girl i barely knew, and it was the only time, it didnt mean anything and i dont ever think of it but i lied and now i dont think she trusts me. i know for a fact that she would trust me not to cheat i wouldnt and i know that in my heart but i dont know how to explain why i hid it...i guess i wanted everything to be perfect.

shes a virgin and we havent had sex and we dont intend to before marriage, and im 100% fine with that.

just to clarify i have already told her everything, including the virgin issue about 3 weeks ago, im just scared beyond belief that she wont want me anymore

Answer 1

I'd tell her everthing, and if you don't know how, here is how I would want someone to tell me.

First of all, you need to be face to face, not on the internet, or the phone. It shows bravery and caring.

Make sure your alone. That way noone is put on the spot. Try to tell her when she's in a good mood too.

Start off by saying something like, "(her name), I have a few things I want to say. I know your probably going to get mad at me, but I want you to know this."

She will get mad, or upset, but tell her that you really care, and love her with all your heart, and if you didn't, you wouldn't be telling her.

Tell her that it's hard for you to tell her and that you desided that your relationship would be stronger once you told her.

Start by telling her the silly one first, and save a silly one for last. Mix the one about not being a virgin in the middle of the end.

She may start to tear if she is really emotional, and she may laugh about the part where you didn't have a girlfriend before her.

Tell her EVERYTHING!! Good relationships are built on trust and love. Don't say a few things and go back telling her more.

Promise to never tell another lie again.

If and when she askes why you lied, tell her exactly why.

If you don't talk for a couple days after you tell her, its because she is thinking about what you said, if she dosn't call you, call her after a day or two to show you still care.


If you really mean the things about being a virgin, there is a thing about revirginizing. It is a thing were you can repent and claim your virginity back. There is an artice about it in the latest Teen People magazine. If you would like to do this, you can even ask her to help you.


Good Luck! I hope this helped!

Answer 2

Wow i would like to be at your girlfriend's place, a guy who accepts to have sex only after marriage is what i'm looking for and they are really hard to find.Well i think you lied to your girlfriend because you were scared that she doesn't accept to be with you if she knew that you are not virgin like her.You should have explained to her that you just had sex once that's all.I'm sure she would have accepted you but now you have to tell her and you have to make sure that you won't scare her.You have to convince her that you will never lie to her again and you should respect that if you don't you can say bye to her so be careful.I'm a 19 years old virgin and i know what i'm talking about.So tell her about your parents and everything you lied to her.Then you promise and you swear if necesary that you won't do that again and tell her how much you love her.I hope that will help. Good luck.And don't forget the best thing you can do is to tell her the truth 'cause if she discovers by herself you won't have any chance to convince her.

Answer 3

You shouldn't have been ashamed or lied to her to begin with. In a relationship, you should always be truthful. I'm sure you understand that now. If she really love you, she'll realize to forgive you for being deceitful. It's kind of sad she didn't know about it, though! Sometimes, telling the truth doesn't lead to happiness. But to be honest, you should think of how she reacts. If she gets mad easily, you should reconsider telling her later on when the time is right. Just hope that she understands you! good luck!

Answer 4

Well I don't mean to promote dishonesty, but maybe you should consider keeping these things to yourself. Don't lie to her anymore. As you see now it's just not worth it. The sex thing is the big one as I see it. You may want to think on that for a while. Can you deal with lying to your one partner in life for the rest of your life? Do you roll the dice and hope that she's not too upset by it. The other little things I think you should consider just sweeping under the rug and don't think on it anymore. And don't lie like that anymore! It's just not worth it.

Answer 5

She needs to know the truth before you get married. Otherwise, your marriage will be based on lies, and it will not last forever. If you tell her before, she will be able to see that you are being honest with her, and she will never have to think of if you are lying or cheating or whatever behind her back. Best to get it out sooner than later.

Answer 6

Very touching story. well, you told her everything right?? so now tell her that this isn't going to happen again. that you'll be completely honest now. and to prove that , only time itself will prove it to her. and i dont think it was a bad lie about what your parents really did. i think you should of told her earlier that you weren't a virgin. but atleast u had the guts to hell her. but ask her if she still trust's u and hopefully she says yes. but if she doesnt then you better make up for it and only time itself will make things better.

Answer 7

You're very fortunate to have found each other, may your future be filled with love, joy, peace, and blissful harmony. Enjoy your precious time together experiencing all that life has to offer both of you! Wishing you both a beautiful day on your wedding, the best to you both!

Answer 8

Eventhough you lied you sounds like a very nice and humble guy. And waiting to get married before you have sex is really nice. Hope that you stay faithful to her till you get married. Good luck and always remember it doesnt matter how little the lie is, its a lie and it hurts. =)

Answer 9

tell her u need to talk with her..and u want to discuss what u expect from yourself, from her, and from your relationship.

be honest. tell her that u want to start with a clean slate, because you are feeling that she is truly special, and u don't need to "impress" her anymore with lies. therefore, start with telling her what u expect from urself: to be a worthy of her trust. to take care of her needs and wants. to do good by her and for her. to communicate and willingly try to work on the relaitonship to be Positive and Healthy. tell her because that is what u expect from yourself, u need to be honest with her now, before u go any further in ur relationship.

tell her what u expect from her as a girlfriend. to be trustworthy. to work on the relationship. to be communicative and open minded. to help the relationship grow and get better.

tell her what u expect from the relationship..that u are OK with waiting til u get married, because u DON'T want it to be like the other girl, where it meant nothing and u don't feel good about urself for that. u want it to be right, and special, and that is what u want from the relationship.

if she is angry, i don't know what to say... the only thing u can do is trust that she wants to work on the relationship. this is a test. if she is not willing to work on this, what else is she going to be closed about? do ur best, that's all u can do. if she doesn't want u, find someone who will Respect that about you, and want to learn and work with you. but give her a chance first! :)

Answer 10

i think u should tell her the truth soon because the longer u keep these secrets the bigger they'll get- u'll hafta build on them and they'll just get bigger, ya kno? explain WHY u lied and if u r as in love as u say, she'll understand and probably forgive u after a week or two and a hell of a lot of candy, flowers, and mushy cards, emails, texts......