tell me 3 jokes?

Answer 1

1. How do you put a giraffe in the refridgerator?
open the door and put him in

2. How do you put an elephant in the refridgerator?
take out the giraffe and put him in

3. Simba is being crowned king of the jungle and has invited all the animals to a party. Who isn't there?
the elephant, he is still in the refridgerator

Answer 2

Working with complex numbers is always fun until someone loses an i.

A country boy came home from college bragging about how much he learned, "I learned how to find the area of a circle. It's pi R squared." His pa, unimpressed, replied, "A heck of a lot you're learning! Everyone knows pies are round!"

What's the difference between pi, e, and pie?

pi is the ratio between the circumference of a circle and its diameter and is equal to 3.14159265359.

e is the base of the natural logarithm and is equal to the area bounded by the hyperbola y=1/x, x=1, x=e, and the x-axis and is equal to 2.71828182846.

pie is just pi times e. It's equal to 8.54 and is always rounded.

Linda L's third joke reminds me of a story. The famous mathematician William Hamilton took his wife on a romantic moonlit stroll and what did he carve into Dublin's bridge over the Royal Canal?

i^2 = j^2 = k^2 = ijk = -1

Except it's no joke. It's the fundamental law of quaternions. And people say mathematicians have no sense of romance!

Answer 3

I will tell you 1 joke about 3 women.
A doctor is in his surgery, he calls the receptionist to ask how many patients are left. " Just 3 doctor, Mrs. Smith,Mrs Jones and Mrs Brown " "Oh no those 3 come here every week, I think it is time I told them a few home truths!" he replies angrily. Anyway, he goes into the waiting room and growls "Here we are again! You 3 make me sick same old stories, same self inflicted problems. You Mrs Smith, you would be much better if you stopped drinking, you are obsessed with booze, you even called your daughter Sherry! Then there is you Mrs Jones, There is no wonder you make yourself ill, in debt all the time, spend spend spend ...huh, you even called your daughter Penny.
Suddenly Mrs.Brown stands up , gets hold of her little girls hand and says as she storms out "Come on Fanny, I am not stopping here to be insulted!"

Answer 4

Since you asked this in the Mathematics Category, I'll tell you 3 math jokes:

Q: What do you get if you divide the cirucmference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi!

Q: What does the zero say to the the eight?
A: Nice belt!

Q: What does a mathematician present to his fiancée when he wants to propose?
A: A polynomial ring!

Answer 5

There was an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish confessing to adultery.
One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!"

Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say instead that they had 'fallen.'

This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well until the priest passed away at a ripe old age.

A few days after the new priest arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned.

"Mayor, you have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep telling me they've fallen."

The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the code word. But, before he could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at him and shouted, "I don't know what you're laughing about, because your wife has fallen three times this week!"




There was this guy who always went out drinking with his friends. He would always come home very late. One night, while he was at the bar he told them his secret for being able to sneak in late.

"When I walk in the house, before the wife can say anything, I lay her down, take off her panties, and give her the best oral sex she's ever had, until she has such an orgasm that she falls into a deep sleep. Then, I wash up and go to bed. By morning, she is so pleased, she doesn't care what time I came home."

One of his friends thinks this is a great idea. So he stays out late, comes home, sneaks into the bedroom, gives his wife the best oral sex she's ever had, and goes to wash up. His wife walks into the bathroom, obviously upset that he's home so late.

"Hey, why aren't you sleeping?" he asks.

"I was was, but I came in to tell you that we've got to sleep on the couch tonight, 'cause my mother is sleeping in our bedroom."

Answer 6

what is the difference between a LAWYER and a BLONDE?
A blonde quits ,"screwing" you after your dead.

How does a BLONDE turn the light on after SEX?
She opens the car door.

There was a blonde out in a boat trying to row, in the middle of a dirt field.
Pretty soon another blonde drives by...
She yells out the car window," You know it's dumb blonde's like you who give blonde's like me a BAD NAME." "If I had my swimsuit on I would swim out and slap you silly!"

Well that's three.
Oh and just for the record...I am blonde myself...
Maybe thats why I know all these blonde jokes so well.
I had a couple of REALLY SICK ones, but with my CHRISTIAN REP around here, I just stick to the blonde jokes, and maybe forget the others all together.
Probably not though.

Answer 7

I'll tell you one.

A son goes off to college and come home for Thanksgiving.

His father, an old farmer asks him to tell him something he has learned at that expensive college of his.

The sun replies "Pie R Square".

The farmer just shakes his head and says the son is not allowed to go back to school after the break!

The sad son asks why and the farmer replies "son, pie is round, cornbread is square!"

Answer 8

the First : father : why did the teacher give u zero in math ?
son : because he didn't find a mark lower than zero.

the Second : father : why did u had zero in math ?
son : because my clleagues took all the marks .

the Third : a man was searching for a clean restaurant . than he found a one that eas typed on its door " we fought flies " . he entered & ask for a meal . when it comes , alot of flies comes around it . So , he asked the waiter for the sign outside & the waiter replied " Yes we fought flies But they defeat us "

i hope they will appeals to u .

Answer 9

I only know two math jokes:

What's yellow and equivalent to the Axiom of Choice?
Zorn's Lemon.

What's purple and commutes?
An abelian grape.

Answer 10

A woman tells her husband that she wants a breast job because she was so unhappy with her small size. He tells her that they just don't have the money to waste on such extravagance. "I want one and I don't care how much it cost!" She told him very angrily. "Calm down, I think I have a solution." Her husband said. "Go and get some toilet paper and rub it between your breast for a while and see what happens."
"Well what is that supposed to do?" She screamed at him.
"I don't know," he said,"but it seems to have worked wonders on your butt!"