He's not demanding me to help him on his projects but his self-pitty is his way for me to not resist him. He has returned alot of favors for me but with his, when it comes to his projects, I can't. He has changed alot so far but he still needs help sometimes and I want him to learn how to be independent, self-sufficient and stand alone without me helping him. How can I make him without letting him down? We're madly in love and happy together but this is one thing we cannot handle. He swears not to ask help from me anymore but I hate to see him asking help from other people except me. How can I make this stop? Even if it's a miracle to do that, how can I help him learn without hurting him?
2006-08-11 09:41:35 · 4 answers · asked by chelsea 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Listen carefully, you are trying to do whats right and sometimes a little white lie for the betterment of someone else is okay. With that said if I were you I would just make sure that you have something else planned for that evening and tell him he will just have to do it on his own this time. Have your mom or dad plan something for you. I bet if you told them what you were doing they would be supportive and keep you busy during these times that are causing you a problem. Good luck.
2006-08-11 09:52:52 · answer #1 · answered by Can do it man 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
say no and stick to your guns
self pity isn't violent but its still a form of bullying
are you sure he NEEDS your help of just wants to spend the extra time with you? maybe he thinks if you say no and you know he will ask someone else that you wont say no anymore
also you didn't mention what kind of projects....if it is school related projects could it be he has some form of a learning disability and does not understand the nature of the project or maybe he just doubts his ability to perform the project
lots of people have learning disabilities that are very subtle and hard to detect
2006-08-11 16:49:55 · answer #2 · answered by Willow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to let him ask for help from others, who are not you. That's what being independent is all about. We all need help much of the time, but we don't go to the same person asking them to do everything for us. Knowing where and how to look for help is invaluable. Don't help him a lot. Let him find help on his own. And be happy for him that he's doing it.
2006-08-11 16:45:52 · answer #3 · answered by Magina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont' see the problem in helping him..
i mean your his gf.. your suppose to help each other out..
i don't mean you have to do his project for him.. but if he needs your advice you should give it to him... perhaps you can help him organize better.. help him with his time management.. or mulit tasking...
there are plently ways of being able to help him..
you should always be able to count on the person you love for help.. and they should be able to do the same for you
2006-08-11 16:46:54 · answer #4 · answered by steph 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋