i love my husband to death but every time we are making love, it doesnt feel good!! Its not because he doesnt know what hes doing , and its not because he doesnt have a big penise, I really think its me, but i dont know what it could be..why cant i ever have an orgasim?? what do you think it is?? Please answer politely and be serious..thanx.
2006-08-11 09:40:35 · 29 answers · asked by life 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
learn to give yourself an orgasm
until you learn what feels good how can you expect him to be able to please you if even you do not know?
2006-08-11 09:44:24 · answer #1 · answered by brainiac 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you experiencing stress right now? Have you both taken a vacation that lasted more than 7 days? Maybe if you change the environment and relaxed a bit more it might help. Also, be aware that not every woman experiences orgasms. Is your husband long on the foreplay prior to sex. Are you a visual, verbal, or touch sexual person? You need to start doing some serious self examination of the possible cause. Did you always "not feel good" when you make love with your husband.. meaning from the beginning of your marriage together.. how was your sexual experience? if no? Then Why? if yes, then what event changed during the course of your marriage? Do you have a healthy view of sex within a marriage? Are there any circumstances that may be causing you pressure.. (household chores, children, financial, unresolved past issues, occupational/work related, unfullfilled needs, etc.)?
How old are? Are you going through any harmonal changes? Could you be dealing with some health issues? Do you feel tired and is your mind wandering when your making love? Do you have a problems focusing your attention? These are some of the questions you need to explore. Start there.. and you may find it helpful to seek counseling.
Always happy to help someone who's interested in keeping their marriage healthy, strong and intact. Marriage is a Blessing!
2006-08-11 09:57:41 · answer #2 · answered by 247 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be a lot of things. There are lots of questions...like how old are you guys, do you orgasm other ways? Is there discomfort? Are you getting lubricated well? Have you ever orgasmed easy during intercourse? Lots of things.
From the hip? Climax is easiest through stimulation of the clit. Intercourse is not the most effective way to do that. Try riding your husband and stimulating your clit yourself while you are having intercourse. It may help you climax and since all guys are voyeurs I'm sure hubby will have no complaints seeing you do it.
With out knowing the answers to so many questions, it's pretty hard to tell. Heck, it could be something you should be seeing a doctor about even though that's not likely.
Tom
2006-08-11 09:47:58 · answer #3 · answered by Thomas 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many, many women can not and will not orgasm from intercourse (even some that think they are truly aren't, they just don't understand what it is actually). The parts that create that are not in there, it would be like your husband expect to be able to orgasm because someone massaged his big toe! You need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm, just like I do and so many more of us! Have you ever used a vibrator? Its not for penetration, if you use it for clitoral stimulation its the easiest way to 'get there' and its really awesome! Your husband may feel intimidated by it, at first, but trust me he'll love the pleasure you get from it and once he understands that it has nothing to do with him its simple anatomy he'll be ok. You two can learn how to get it done together and that will be a ton of fun! They are cheap, you don't need a big one or anything fancy, in fact my favorites are the $7 little plastic ones, they just seem to work best. You can do it alone or (my favorite) while having intercourse. Good luck and enjoy! You can even get them at drug stores sometimes or at Spencers if you have them in your area, obviously at adult book stores but you may not be comfortable there and everything is more expensive, you can also order them online, very discreetly, if you get them at a non sex toy place they are called personal massagers.
2006-08-11 09:52:44 · answer #4 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will tell you something. I have only came three times through sexual intercourse. All three times were with an x boyfriend. I didn't really like him, but he knew what he was doing. Since then, I haven't came through intercourse. I almost always *** from oral sex. Don't take me wrong, my husband was an excellent lover. I think for some of us, it's a little harder than others. It's not neccesarily you or him. Just try different things to reach the Bog O. Hopefully, he's not a selfish lover. Try to teach him what to do, how fast and where. Good luck!
2006-08-11 09:51:48 · answer #5 · answered by Amelia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are focusing on not being able to have an orgasm more than just getting into it and relaxing to enjoy it.
You have to learn to forget what ever may be troubling you in life's hectic never ending crap and let go and enjoy it...
I know I read a lot of women on here not really enjoying it but I don't really get that.... It relieves so much stress and my whole body relaxes afterwords...
And for some it just never changes... Some are more sexual than others. But I think this is the one thing a woman can be super great at... If you just learn to feel it is OK to let your self go..
And this is with you and your hubby only. Not anyone else...
Bottom line....... Relax and let him please you and don't feel rushed to get there......!
2006-08-11 09:52:56 · answer #6 · answered by Princess ♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you in the mood to have sex or are you just having it because he wants to? Are you attracted to him (aside from his penis)? If there is anything in the marriage that is making you unhappy then it's going to be hard for you to enjoy having sex with him. I was the same way. I lost attraction with my now ex-husband and having sex was like an unwelcomed chore. I would suggest you look at every aspect of your marriage and find out what could be causing this problem. Is is something that just started? Have you been happy and pleased with sex before? Look deeper into this and you'll find a solution
2006-08-11 09:50:37 · answer #7 · answered by purpleama456 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had this same problem for like the first year of my marriage, I actually sat down with nmy husband and told him how I was feeling. Together we decided to try new things and whenever we found something that felt good to me I was sure to let him know just as I would let him know if I didn't like it. You really need to let him know how you feel so you both can work on a solution together.
2006-08-11 09:46:41 · answer #8 · answered by anglhrtdevlmind 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal, it does have to do with you, but it's not your fault, and it's probably fixable. Most women who have this issue can only solve it by working it out on their own first, then bring partner in after you know exactly how to do it on your own. Buy the book called "For Yourself" by lonnie Barbach. I've had 2 friends work through this book and they are able to every time now. In the meantime avoid drugs and alcohol and don't rush into it!
2006-08-11 09:49:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try taking the dominant position. I had the same problem. Now my favorite position is being on top. I can control where I am stimulated, how hard or soft and my husband loves it too! You can be much more active in this position as well. Give it a try and see what happens.
2006-08-11 09:44:56 · answer #10 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you masturbate? If not you should start - so that you can find out what it takes for you to have an orgasm. Then you should have him do whatever you need him to do. You might want to buy a book on the subject.
If you can't get yourself off, then a guy won't be able to do the job either.
2006-08-11 09:44:42 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋