My four-year-old just started school (kindergarten, full-day program) and the teachers keep behavior charts in the kids' backpacks so the parents will be aware of how their children are behaving at school... If he gets a week of good behavior, how can I reward him?
P.S. He's a good kid anyway, nothing out of the norm happens with him... do you believe rewarding him is appropriate? Do you think it's stupid? Excessive?
Opinions, please. :) Let me have it... the good, the bad, and the ugly... I wanna know what y'all think about this.
2006-08-11 08:15:45 · 15 answers · asked by TakeMe2YourLeader 3 in Education & Reference ➔ Primary & Secondary Education
I'm a teacher, and I've worked with a wide range of kids -- the good, the bad, and the ugly, as you put it. I strongly believe that rewards actually UNDERMINE the messages we are trying to send our children.
Your son already desperately wants to please you and to please his teacher. He loves making you happy and knowing that he's done the right thing. He is probably trying his hardest!
If you reward him separately, you shift the focus AWAY from being good and toward the reward. You send the message that the reward is the reason he was good, or that people are good because they want rewards. If being good means that he gets a reward, then being good must not be very much fun for its own sake!
Instead, notice his successes, and help him to see himself as a person who chooses to be good. "The teacher says that you did a good job during story time! You must have really listened." "I can see that you tried really hard to be a good friend. You should be proud of yourself."
If you want to take him out for a treat once a week, go right ahead! But don't give him the idea that the treat is for being good, or that the reason to be good is the treat. Let being good be its own reward.
2006-08-11 11:27:22 · answer #1 · answered by llemma 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you reward a kid for good behavior now, he's just going to expect it all the time and become spoiled.
Good behavior is something you, as a parent should expect of your child.
Exceptionally good deeds should be re-enforced though, say your child helps someone by holding a door for them, you may want to reward him or her with something small and consumable like an icecream cone or popsicle.
A child's best reward should be the happy feeling inside of them. They don't need to get a new $50 video game or toy everytime they cover their nose and mouth when they sneeze or for every day they dont pull a baby siblings hair.
Good behavior is just a bunch of little good things that don't last very long alone.
Permanent rewards should not be given for temporary performance. Meaning that if your child gets to first grade and starts playing the school bully, will you take away the rewards he or she got from acting good in Kindergarten? No but he or she will enjoy playing with that toy anyways.
Good grades on a report card is something more permanent, that can be rewarded more, maybe with a new book or board game that the family can play together.
2006-08-11 08:37:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a former school teacher I think you praising his good behaviour and telling him how proud and happy you are that's he's doing so well is probably more important than some toy or trinket. That kind of reward may set up that he only works for material rewards and eventually there isn't going to be a reward big enough or expensive enough for you to give him.
Better he should develop good self -esteem from doing his best and accomplishing things on his own without having to have a tangible reward other than mummy and daddy's being pleased and proud of him. Just my humble opinion of course.
2006-08-11 08:22:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think reward works better than punishment. So I think you definately should reward you kid. Maybe candie? Kids like candie, maybe bring him to the store and tell him he can get one toy. If you need to you can give him a price range, like under $20 or something.
Maybe it could be something more at home like he can stay up past his bed time one night.
2006-08-11 08:37:36 · answer #4 · answered by star_that_never_fades 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think one of the best ways you can reward him is tell him how proud you are of him, that in itself would go along way. You might let him pick a favorite food to have for dinner that friday also just as something alittle extra but it's not really going overboard.
2006-08-11 10:56:19 · answer #5 · answered by Short 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Reward/punishment systems are actually very effective forms of discipline. To reward him, find an activity he likes and take him there (my daughter likes swimming, amusement parks, arcades, etc.) If he misbehaves then deny him the activity for a certain amount of time.
2006-08-11 08:19:56 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he will be getting these good reports every week so be careful what kind of precedent you are setting with the first one...a trip for ice cream is great...kid choice for dinner was popular at our house...excited calls to grandparents and other relatives was a good one...we had to vary our rewards but it works.
2006-08-11 17:52:39 · answer #7 · answered by Library Eyes 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no it is good to reward good behavior...even if it is just telling him how proud you are of him, and his behavior at school...maybe let him pick out a movie for you all to rent and watch on a saturday night...or a trip to mcdonald's...depends what your child likes...and the rewards dont have to be expensive to make him feel good...make it simple, and he will love them, just as much as you love his good behavior.
2006-08-11 08:24:13 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just small things probably work..Like take him out to his favorite restaurant, let him have $5 for a toy, etc.
2006-08-11 08:22:09 · answer #9 · answered by ♥me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try not to buy him anything, do something for him. If you do this, are you prepared to keep it up on a weekly basis?
2006-08-11 08:22:31 · answer #10 · answered by Michelle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋