why did it take so long?

Question

i think my husband had an affair 8 years ago and forgave him but now i keep thinking about it and dont know what to do i still love him

Answer 1

My question to you is did you confront him about this or you just thought he had an affair and decided to forgive him whether he did or not? If you both had a talk about it you would have found out what happened and why he did it if he did at all.
Love forgives all things and does not keep records of wrongs. If you forgave him but did not forget, that means you do not love him as much as you thought. If you still love him, then you need to let go of the past and concentrate on building a beautiful future together. Its begin 8 years, that is a long time to hold a grudge on someone you love and sleep with.
Let it go and let God start a healing process in your heart. I will be praying for you. I wish you all the best.

Answer 2

It's always hard when someone you love betrays you. It sounds like you suspected he had an affair but aren't quite positive. It's hard not think of the affair. As you know, you can forgive but you'll never forget. If 8 years has gone by, you've forgiven him and your relationship is solid, you have nothing to worry about. It's normal to reflect back and it may still hurt. It may help to talk to him about your feelings... Take care and good luck!

Answer 3

If you want it to work, stop thinking about it. He probably had an opportunity and took it. It had nothing to do with you, just a choice he made. Besides, sex is not that big of a deal alone. How would you feel if he were spending quality time with her like taking her on vacations, out to the movies, walks in parks, etc.? You have nothing to worry about except for your own insecurities right at this moment in time. See if you can talk to him and he should be able to put your insecurities to rest. God bless you!!!

Answer 4

You are still thinking about it becayuse you never had any closure. You "think" that he had an affair but never really know for sure. He never admitted itand never apologize.

This is issue is unresolved and that's why after all of these years the thought keeps on haunting you.

Good luck

Answer 5

If talking to him about it doesn't help, try marriage counseling. It's obviously still gnawing away at you... if you don't get this nagging feeling resolved, it can make you more and more bitter and suspicious and eventually become so toxic that it can ruin all the good parts of your relationship.

If he loves you and wants to avoid that fate, he'll be willing to go with you to the counseling. You may need some individual counseling also, after that.

Answer 6

forgiving and forgetting r two differnt things and no one can forget sucha thing. keep ur self occupied so u dont have time to think of this things. and instead of thinking of what he did 8 yrs ago think of all the good things that have come out of u forgiving him and the joys u have had with him in the last 8 yrs. good luck

Answer 7

Well you forgave him once ok but you will never forget and you have the right to always think that hes doing it agin just because he did it before but always rember always forgive never forget

Answer 8

Did you ever get closure? Did you ever confront your husband and ask him why he did it? As silly as it sounds you need closure. You need answers to the questions that you never asked.
You need to get out your feelings about the infidelity.

Answer 9

is it feeling like love is not there right now in your marriage? if thats the case, then maybe thats why. but you should move on if its been 8 years...


good luck to you!!

Answer 10

8 years ago? let it go. You love him, and it's not currently happening, so love and let go.