How to Play a Player?

Question

So... I'm single right now. I've been watching this one chick for months. She's young, and very much a player. She uses non-commitment like a shield, and I can see there is a vulnerable side to her that she's hiding. She's been hitting on me for months, and I've been teasing her right back, but I haven't engaged because I know she'll just end up using me. That's what she's done with every chick she's been with in the past few months. SO... knowing this, I've decided to... get my physical needs met... and not let her anywhere near my heart. Because frankly, I could really fall for her. As much as I like her, I don't want to get my heart shredded.
Your advice on how to play a player would be greatly appreciated.

Wow, there are a lot of very god answers here. I really appreciate all the input I've recieved. In some ways, I know I'm fooling myself, in others, I think I need to try to "practice" having fun wothout wanting anything more. So I'm still confused. I'm going to put this question to the readers for voting. Many thanks to all who answered!

Answer 1

Sounds to me like you've already fallen for her.
No one puts this much thought into something like this on a whim.
Just admit it to yourself and deal. If you do get physical with this girl you WILL get hurt.
No two ways about it.

Answer 2

If you want to have a relationship with her, don't base it solely on your physical needs. If you hold back, she'll notice. She's not stupid, just not ready to settle down yet, or maybe she just hasn't found the right girl.

Be yourself. Express your true feelings for her if you two decide to start dating. You know what? She might do exactly what she's done in the past and use you, but hey--at least you can honestly say you tried and didn't let her player-ness rub off on you.

I am friends with the master of non-commitment. He is 43 and has never married and so far has no desire to in the least. He is just the coolest guy you could ever meet, but he just wouldn't settle down to one girl. He has lost many girlfriends because of this. However, he finally met his current girlfriend and something just clicked inside of him. They have been seeing each other for roughly two years now and show no signs of breaking up. Up until this point, he was exactly like that girl, but he finally met the right person and all of that changed.

You may just be the person this girl needs to set her straight and settle her down. You can't judge a book by it's cover, which is what you seem to be doing. I realize she's a player, but how do you know that you won't be different? Simply knowing that she's a player gives you the upper hand, doesn't it? You know what to expect, so can't you use that to your advantage and convince her that you aren't expendable? Don't do what she's doing--don't ruin your chances with her by "playing the player." You'll beat yourself up afterwards and you know it.

You already have feelings for her, so my advice to you is go for it, but put your heart into it and LET HER KNOW. Don't hide your feelings for her, and don't let her play you. You're smarter than that--you'll know when she's getting ready to play you--call her on it and don't let her. There is a chance that your heart will get broken, and that's something you'll have to consider, too. Time doesn't heal heal all wounds and I know that as well as anybody, but it does dilute them. It's your choice, but I would personally go out with her and try my hardest to make it last, and if I suddenly reached a point and realized that it would never work, I would end it and say that I tried my hardest, but it just didn't work.

Sometimes you have to gamble in life--and love. You know, take chances. Sometimes it pays off, and sometimes it comes back to bite you.

Answer 3

Well, first of all your aware of the situation, good. Next I would tell her your emotionally unavailable, you just havent met the right one that does it for you. You just want to have fun. Don't pay too much attention to her when you are out and about. Make her realize you just want to have fun and want to flirt with people. When you both are together, "do her" and then say well you have to go now I have things to do. Or wake up in the morning and leave and say thank you I'll call you sometime. Make sure when you have sex with her its very caring and passionate. Then when you see her out just make as if you are friends, don't talk about the sex thing.... This is how you play a player...

Answer 4

1) Don't "play" anyone...what goes around always, always comes around.
2) She may look like a player, but that is pretty harsh..she may not have met anyone that really grabs her heart...so what is the problem..she is selective in who she falls in love with..my, my, what a refreshing code of conduct.
3) You may well be judging her bushel by your peck. Think about it. She comes across as friendly, nice, etc...and you accuse her of being a player...well she may well be, but everyone is at one time or another. Players are players until they fall in love. What are they supposed to do? Stay celibate until they fall in love? How would you ever know if you are in love? Is she a player because she says "No " to relationships that she does not want to get in? Sounds like wisdom to me. I think you may be a little rough on this lady. She sounds as if she knows what she wants and is willing to wait until it comes along....and YOU may be just what she is waiting on...who knows.
4) ARE YOU SO SURE you know her that well? It sounds as if you are protecting yourself BEFORE you need protecting.
Please rethink your stand on this lady. She could well be something entirely different than you think . Good luck and peace

Answer 5

Wow, you sound like a guy. That beings said, I think it's smart that you're caring for yourself and your feelings so you don't get hurt. The advantage is taht you know what you're getting yourself into. Good luck!

Answer 6

don't sleep with her and don't tell her secrets or intimate details about youself. With time you will see whelther she is just playing you or could be a potential gf.

Maybe this chick is not a lesbian. how young is she? she may be an attention seeker.

Answer 7

Games are for children

Answer 8

I liked mylife's answer......it's sad, but true...I've been in the same situation and that answer sums things up pretty much exactly as they are. ....