Can a gay person stop being gay or vice versa?

Question

OK, I know the politcally correct answer is no, gay people are always gay.

BUT: I kinda don't believe it given the large number of newly gay or formerly gay people I've known or heard about. These are people who got married, had kids and their spouses didn't know anything about the gay thing. Or former gays getting married and enjoying life. I don't believe that ALL of them are lying.

What would be the problem if a person decided to be gay or to stop being gay. Why not just admit it? It doesn't mean you cant be treated like a human being just because you changed your mind.

I don't get it. Somebody help me out....

Come on people, so how do you explain all the people who turned? All of them either crazy or liars?

Answer 1

I have been gay since i was twenty and now twenty eight, i am still gay. However i desperately want to stop being gay. I believe the absence of my father and the abuse by my mother in retaliation of my father has led me to be gay, because there was a time when i had interest in girls. Not to mention the low socio-economic status; and the girls for some reasons not showing interest in me and i not responding to the few who showed an interest. My disdain for this cruel and unfair society and not seeing the point of having a child when the society is so cruel and unfair and shapeless all play a part in i being a celibate gayman, u understand. Interestingly, men do not show interest in me either, so i am very celibate, and because of my christian beliefs, i am very comfortable with this. The strong urge is there and so i cannot deny that i am gay and i honestly think / believe that it has taken over my mind; Thank God not my body yet. Some men have gay written all over their body. You can stay a mile and see it. If someone becomes gay for whatever reasons or cause, I believe that it will be one of the most difficult or impossible thing to change. I so believe that because it is moreso because of nature rather than nurture. If it is nature, it is like trying to change a girl to a boy when her chromosone already established her to be a she. Nature can become so significant that believe me, biological make up is no match to your psychological influence. Whether it is nature or nurture by sociaety etc, you are still in a losing battle to change from what you really are. Nevertheless, i strongly believe that if by nurture or even nature, spiritual influence can do wonders in changing you back to being straight and that is if you believe in it and make it your treatment. The spirituality is what we in the society lack, and as a result we are unable to fight and change many things such as our 'abnormal sexuality'. If i did a study, i am certain that there would be a steady relationship between the decline of spirituality and the increase in homosexuality. I have not gone that way yet, but i will soon go back to my spirituality, because i believe that it will be my only and last hope of changing to the 'normal sexuality'. Mind you, it should be easier for me, because i am one of the rejects of the homosexuals' environment. Then again, i may never change, because of the strong influence of nature, nurture and psychology.

Answer 2

It's all about your status in society.

If you come across as heterosexual and people would never ever think you are homosexual, then this gives you the ability to have an opposite sex partner and feel attracted to them because you show no signs of homosexuality.

If you are a man and are extremely feminine then no doubt will people think you are homosexual and even if you do like females, people will give you a hard time because you seem like a homosexual. You may even start to feel homosexual if people give you a hard enough time because they drill it into your mind that you are "gay".

Imagine a really masculine heterosexual man was publicly sexual abused by a group of men and everybody knew about it. He'd completely lose his manhood and would no longer be able get himself a female because his status as a man has been destroyed.

It's extremely important how others perceive our behaviour and actions. As soon as you feel that people think you are gay, then it can really get into your head and make you question yourself.

If an extremely masculine guy with a girlfriend was approached by someone who said he was gay, then he would probably laugh because that person has nothing to indicate that he is gay and nobody else has ever showed any indications that he may be gay either.

Being a heterosexual man is all about pride and manhood. Once a guy loses his pride and his manhood, he can no longer be heterosexual. Public perceptions mean everything believe me!

A guy could be 100% heterosexual in real life and be extremely masculine and obsess about girls; people naturally assume he is straight and nothing more. He may secretly like to look at gay porn but would never tell a soul about it because this would jeopardise his manhood and his pride as a man. He would lose his status and possibly be ridiculed or laughed at for the rest of his life. He'd probably struggle to get himself a girlfriend also because she wouldn't want the reputation of being with a gay man.

Once people have gotten into his head and clearly shown they think he is gay, this will make him feel less and less masculine to the point he no longer feels a brotherly connection and acceptance amongst other males, which will then cause him to have real homosexual feelings.

So sexuality is something we assume by a person behaviour and lifestyle. If a guy doesn't talk about girls or ever have a girlfriend, people may suspect him as being gay; he may be 100% straight for all we know and maybe he simply doesn't want a girlfriend, but the point is that if people aren't aware of why this guy doesn't have a girlfriend or show any signs then they can naturally suspect he is gay. It can however be a bit more complicated than that because although he never talks about girls and has never has a girlfriend, he may be extremely masculine and enjoy masculine hobbies. Ordinarily if he isn't at all insecure about his sexuality then he will probably just ignore those who ever suspect him as being gay or he may just laugh.

Answer 3

Either you're gay or your not. There is no turning gay or turning straight.

What can happen is behaviors change. If I'm gay, and because of pressure from family or work, or whatever, I decide to stop having gay sex, stop looking for relationships with other men, you could say that I had turned straight. But in reality I'm still gay. I like men, I want to be with men, I'm just behaving straight to make someone else happy.

All the same, it is possible for a straight person to try gay sex, and to get something out of it. He or she may "act gay" for a while, but in the end, he or she likes the opposite sex, and stops having gay relationships and sex. They were always straight, just posing.

Answer 4

OK, I will help you out. Being Gay is NOT a matter of choice. NO ONE chooses to be Gay, unless you can accept the idea that everyone decides to either be Gay or Straight at sometime in their life....preposterous idea, isn't it? IF you think that people can decide to be Gay, I want to know when you decided to be Straight? Never occurred to you, did it?
And, a straight person cannot, under any circumstance, suddenly decide to become gay..that is ridiculous. Where men are housed only with men, such as in prison, they may have sex with men while incarcerated, but when they get out, they are back to women...they don't choose to have sex with men any longer. Sex is a matter of convenience in prison. Trust me, STraigths go in straight and come out straight, regardless of what they do in jail. The same is true of Gays. You can send a Gay to an all straight camp, they may have sex with the opposite sex while there, but trust me, when given the choice, they will return to their own sex...a matter of orientation, not choice.
You see more and more Gays today because we are coming out of the closet, period. We are here and we are not going away. Fully 10 % of the population has always been gay. You are now seeing more and more of that 10%...that is all that is going on. Straights are the people who have children, and fully 10% of their children will be gay by genetics. Gays are not made miraculously by perversion...Child abuse begets child abusers, not gays. Child abuse begets pedophilia, and fully 90% of pedophils are straight..about the same percentage as straight to gay. Hmmmm is a pattern starting to develop here?
And no one changes their mind about these things...it is called coming out of the closet. Gays have always been gay, but they may have married trying to deny themselves their orientation...makes a real mess when this happens. Hope this has been helpful. Good luck and peace

Answer 5

LOL I have never been politically correct. LOL try being a bisexual republican christian. LOL
No A gay person can discover that they where not quite so gay after all. I understand your obvious confusion here because bisexuals are confusing to deal with sometimes.
Any person can deny their nature or part of their nature but do not confuse a persons actions with a persons attractions or desires. I live a completely straight life but I am no more straight than kookoobananas.

Answer 6

I am not gay, but I believe that you are born to be gay or born to be bi or born to be straight or born to be transgendered. I don't think you have a choice in the matter. Even if you try to ignore it or deny it, you still are attracted to a sertain sex. If the world were switched and it was frowned apon to be straight, then alot of people that were born straight would probably deny that they liked the opposite sex and be with the same sex, just to be accepted. They would still be attracted to the opposite sex, even if society thought it was wrong. So I believe that if you are gay and I mean fully gay, then you will always be gay. I am not talking about bi-curious and you try it out, then you are just experimenting with your sexuality. If you know that you are gay and you really are, then you can't be straight even if you try to act straight.

Answer 7

I think people who are gay aren't truly happy unless they are living the truth. I see your point though, for some people love is blind. I'm sure if I were able to fall in love with a man and he made me feel the way a woman does I would, if I were able. I wouldn't stop being proud of being gay or my previous gay life style. I don't know this is a hard question. I just believe in following your heart so I'm just true to myself.

Answer 8

You've left out the concept of bisexuality in your evaluations. I think that goes a long way to explaining the things you've described. I will also say that MY experience isn't necessarily EVERYONE's experience.

One example is that when trans people start hormones, sometimes that will change who they're attracted to. Sometimes not. Thing is, there isn't any set way TO change sexual orientation that has any scientific backing of working. It's not about politically correct, it's about science and research.

If you don't believe that, then...have you ever just randomly TRIED to be gay? Give it a shot sometime, for just one day. It doesn't work like that.

Answer 9

There is no credible, scientific evidence supporting successful "treatment" of sexual orientation, and some persons have reported that great harm was inflicted on them by such "treatments". "Ex-gay" supporters point to others who they say have experienced what they consider success; however, most mainstream medical and psychological organizations reject such claims and consider attempts to change sexual orientation to be ineffective and potentially harmful.

I do not think that it is a matter of if someone 'converting' to being straight or not. I believe that we are born the way we are. That the sexual attractions and desires we have are as natural as the color of our hair and eyes. We may not be able to choose to have hetero or homosexual desires, but we do have the ability to choose how we will respond to them. But there are several factors that influence how we act on those attractions and desires.

Sexual impulses and attractions are not the same with everyone. Heterosexual and homosexual are only the two extremes. In the middle of these two 'extremes' are bisexuals. There are bisexuals that identify as primarily straight, but also have some sexual attraction to their same sex. There are those that are bisexual, who may have a stronger preference for there own gender, but are attracted to the 'opposite' sex to some degree and do not rule out sexual activity with them.

Also, how we are raised and the social influences that we were raised with have a major influence over how we act towards our natural inclinations. It is not uncommon for homosexual individuals in heteronormative societies to love, marry, and have children with individuals of the opposite sex. This may be done primarily for social reasons in societies which reject same-sex relations, as a cover for one's orientation, and some people can find true happiness in this life by suppressing instead of acting on their natural sexual orientation.

Answer 10

There isn't just gay or straight, there are lots of shades of gray in between. My theory is that the people who turn from gay to straight were bisexual to begin with, maybe leaning a little more towards the opposite sex, therefore, it is easier for them to leave their homosexuality behind. There are those of us who are 100% gay, though, and it's a lot harder for us to find the opposite sex attractive, and will always be so.