it bothers my hubby cause i take things that are said to heart. i want to be free. our love is secure. its me when i stop and really think about it. words on cpu are just that. so any advise would be welcomed.
2006-08-11 06:43:04 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ty , the info yall are giving me is helpfull keep it coming ty.
2006-08-11 06:57:26 · update #1
It is difficult for a sensitive person to deal with things that may be said inthe heat of the moment or just teasing. They take everything to heart like you do.
Here is a little bit of my own philosophy that has helped me in the same type of situation.
When someone says something that hurts your feelings, do not just keep it inside. You will worry yourself sick wondering what they meant. Say something to them. Ask what they meant by that. I nearly lost a friend because of some silly remark that I took too personally.
If your husband says something you have to understand what made him say it. Look for the reason that brought out the words. Maybe he had a really bad day at work and didn't mean to take it out on you. Maybe he was just teasing you. Don't take everything as bad until you examine what caused the comment.
I used to wear my heart on my sleeve. I was hurt by everything anyone said. I always expected things to mean the worst. Now I accept what is said and look for the deeper feelings that made the person say that. It has helped me become a very calm person. Most of the time people don't really mean to hurt you, they just don't know how the words sounded to you when they were spoken.
You are so lucky to be secure with your husband. He is a good person to start with. If he says something that you could take in a bad way, just ask him to explain. Tell him you are working on being less sensitive and his help is needed. The two of you should be able to work this out.
2006-08-11 07:08:14 · answer #1 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being open minded and not taking things to heart are two different things. To be open minded, you have to be relaxed and let all things just wash over you, not as if they didn't matter, but as if it's not the end of the world, and you are wrong to judge.
Not taking things to heart is much harder, and I've never been really able to get over it. If people say something, they should mean it. Words are too precious to throw around meaninglessly. And not taking things to heart in some way requires you to become heartless, which is a thing I will never let myself do.
It is not a good idea to overthink stuff, but it's unavoidable. I recommend just not letting the conclusions you reach by thinking long and hard about something that was blurted out have any weight on your opinions or judgements.
2006-08-11 13:52:22 · answer #2 · answered by Magina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be more secure about yourself. Take some self help classes. Get up and put your make up on every morning ( it will make you feel better) I promise.
Start making time for YOU, and start putting yourself first for a change.
If you have little kids take them to a babysitter or mothers day out at least once a week and take time for YOU.
2006-08-16 16:34:04 · answer #3 · answered by ETxYellowRose 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your hypoer sensitive, think this everytime your are offended, Is the sort of thing thats a deal breaker, as in, is it worth alienating me from whomeever over? Unless its life or death, the answer should be no. Good luck, i went through the same thing.
2006-08-11 13:49:50 · answer #4 · answered by Common Sense 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should learn how to express yourself to others by telling them how you feel or by learning when and how to listen. When you listen to others it shows that you care or that you are interested of what they have to say. Do things you have never done before or have done before like outdoor activities, exercise, new restaurants, go to events around the community. Help out around the community. Most of all love and be yourself
2006-08-11 13:51:52 · answer #5 · answered by Fantasy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to try to see things from the other persons perspective.
You don't have to agree with everyone but just learning to appreciate other peoples feelings will help you be more open minded.
2006-08-11 13:49:03 · answer #6 · answered by cmeand3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Slam your brain into park when your husband starts talking and actually listen to what he has to say.
Wait for him to finish and as you are THINKING about your answer, remember that he is expressing his feelings to you, his thoughts, and that they are just as valid, unique and important as your own.
And run this thought through your head before you answer him. Did he say what he just did to hurt me? That answer is likely no. If it DID hurt you. Then just quietly say, hey, that sorta hurt my feelings because . . . or that made me feel . . .
The two of you are just struggling to get on the same wavelength. Keep working on it.
2006-08-11 14:06:18 · answer #7 · answered by cloaked30m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go out more often. Sometime on the weekend to someplace that's open after 11pm. You need to step out of your bubble and though it's not easy, its definetly worthy
2006-08-11 13:46:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just dont take anyone damn seriously....if the person is not very close to u....u dont need to care a sh!t abt those people....
always remember....never let anyone play with ur mind....
u shud have control over ur mind...and not let the mind control u....
2006-08-11 13:52:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
BEING OPEN MINDED STARTS WITH A PERSON KNOWING THEMSELVES. IF YOUR SECURE BOUT YOURSELF YOU SHOULDNT FEEL WIERD BOUT TRYN THINGS YOUR LEARNING WHAT YOU LIKE AND TAKE CHANCES
2006-08-11 13:47:28 · answer #10 · answered by Jamil G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋