How do you get rid of country songwriters?

Question

My wife has left and hasn't talked to me in four months, my daughter asked me to bail her boyfriend out of jail, one of my sons posted a picture of himself on myspace holding a machine gun, my other son was broadsided in our car by a hit and run driver, a lightning strike fried two of my TVs, my cable modem, and a VCR, and my dog died. The number of country songwriters in my front yard has gotten out of control. I tried firing a warning shotgun blast over their heads, but they thought that was a signal to start a country music festival and hoedown. A friend suggested playing Metallica at full volume, but another friend pointed out that would violate the Geneva Convention. Is there a legal, humane way to get these guys out of my front yard?

Answer 1

Lure them into the basement with beer and acoustic guitar and lock them up. That works with hippies too except you use joints instead of beer.

Answer 2

My buddy Flicka-Mary O'Hara Thunderhead Son of Flicka-Mary O'Hara The Yearling-Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings the place The pink Fern Grows-Wilson Rawls To Kill A Mockingbird-Harper Lee the secret life of Bees-Sue Monk Kidd the fall of the domicile of Usher-Edgar Allen Poe finding for Alaska-John eco-friendly old Yeller-Fred Gipson The Grass Harp-Truman Capote Adrian McKinty-delusion The Lighthouse Land The Lighthouse conflict The Lighthouse Keeper Ray Bradbury-Sci-Fi something depraved this sort Comes The Illustrated guy The Martian Chronicles Dandelion Wine

Answer 3

PUH-lease, Bob G. Sounds like you need to get a new life

Answer 4

you cant thay breed like rabbits but idd try the metallica thing woo hoo \m/ rock and role \m/

Answer 5

Just tell them that their sisters are nekkid down the block.

Answer 6

Is this your failed attempt at humor?

Answer 7

...funny, ha ha?