What is the dumbest or most inconsiderate thing anyone has asked or said to your face?

Question

Some people's ignorance never fails to amaze me. I try to not dwell on it, but some things just irk me to no end!! GRRRR!
I have a beautiful adopted son, who happens to be bi-racial. I was blessed in that I got to be the birth coach for the biological Mother, & brought the baby home as an infant.
Now, I don't mind the idiotic questions about my lack of fertility, etc. I can't bear children. It's a fact I live with, & have made peace with.

But what gets me is the people who ask, "Well, do you love him as much as you would a 'real' child of your own?" Or the ones who told me I'm being selfish & irresponsible to adopt a 'colored child', when I'm "white". "How will you ever be able to make him proud of his black heritage?!"----stuff like that.
Anyway---he'll be 9 in a few days, & I think we're doing just fine! LOL! But I worry about him, & how people's ignorance hurts him.

That's my story....
Back to my original question!
Anyone with "stupid question/remark" stories?

Peace...

I never expected so many wonderful answers!!! WOW!!!
I didn't mean it to be about me & my son--that was just an example!--but sure do appreciate the kind/supportive remarks.
One of my favorite quotes: Beauty, of whatever kind, invariably excites the human soul to tears.- Edgar Allan Poe "

Thanks for posting such lovely, inspiritional things to read!

Answer 1

'' are you gonna suck my brother ballz 2?''

Answer 2

OMG that is so crazy people need to mind their own business and a come back for stupid remarks like that is........I Love him because he is my child,I will do my best teaching him where he comes from but I could do a much better job rasing him with my morals and values then some one with your ignorance.I bought a book an hour ago that says I'm black and proud of it, or Shades or Color (Target) it's a really good book you should get it and in this book it has pictures of all the shades of black and all the different hair types and colors of eyes and that may also help your son understand who he is and it's on a kids level anywayz just think about your life with your son you are his mother you love him and raised him and all the things mothers do so don't worry about what others think even though it is very hard my parents are both Black,White,and Native American,I 'm the color of p-nut butter and my husband is Irish so when we have a child more then likely they will be pale in color with either dirty blonde hair or red with high cheek bones but with my complection and his Irish skin my kids will look white with black features so I'm pretty sure that people will ask me some dumb questions about would I love them as if they were my own and I will look at them and smile and look at my child and say see baby that is what you call a stupid person.......................Now a days everybody is all mixed anyways so keep loving your son like you have been doing and wish him a Happy 9th Birthday block out everything else b/c when you start to doubt what you are doin mistakes will come and your focus may be diverted just hold your head high and raise your son to be a man cuz in the end of the day that is what he is a man when he stands on judgment or whatever you believe there won't be a line coloreds and whites God Bless


Ohh yeah the dumbest things someone has said to my face is that I was really pretty for a Black Girl???????What is that sapposed to mean lmfao so I asked this person and they said becasue of my color my cheek bones and my long hair and at this point I'm just mad forget about that catch 22 complament There are beautiful women in all races and there are prettier women with darker skin and shorter hair then me point is some people are STUPID so you shouldn't worry about the stupid things that come out of their mouths............

Then I told my grandpa what did he think about me having a baby with a white guy he said no that he was totaly against it B/C he didn't want multi colored greatgrandkids I laughed for about half an hour I'm 23 and no one in my family has the same skin color we are all diffrents shades so how much sense does that make

Answer 3

There are people all over the world who adopt outside their race and those children grow up with such a good grasp on their own culture as well as their parent's culture. It is ridiculous to give the comments made by rude people any power over you.

My stupid question was asking a girl I work with if she was pregnant. It turns out she had a tumor in her stomach that was causing it to swell and she was waiting on surgery. I had no idea and was absolutely mortified.

I've never asked the question to anyone again.

Answer 4

A good friend of mine as in the navy, out to sea, when her hubby had an affair with the nanny. Nanny ends up pregnant, and my friend comes back home.

She forgave him, and they worked through their issues. The nanny ends up being a fruitcake who has done this before (and twice more since), so they end up getting custody of the baby when he was about 16 months old.

My friend loves him like he was her own biological child, and he loves her in return, but is aware of his "birth mother". I respect her so much for opening her heart to this child and giving him the love and care he desperately needed.

I also applaud you. How wonderful you are to have given this beautiful boy a loving home with a parent (or parents..but you didn't specify) that love him and support him.

Don't listen to all those naysayers who have nothing better to see the negative.

You are a wonderful person for giving a child a home. Don't let other people's ignorances bother you, because that's just it, they are ignorant.

KUDOS to you!!!! Much Love!

Answer 5

I have one! I had just lost my baby after 6 months of pregnancy. I was really depressed and took about a month and a half off work. I had regular customers who would come in and see me and on day about a week after I came backa man came in and said "are you pregnant or something cause your getting kinda bigger". I was so upset and angry and didnt feel like I needed to tell this stranger my story. Luckily my co-worker stepped in and got kinda rude with the guy. When he apologized he still said "the only reason I was asking is because you look like you gained some weight". Sometimes people need to learn to keep their mouths shut!!
As for your story, dont worry about who says what. You sound like a loving, caring mother who gives her child a wonderful life and thats all that matters.... not skin color.

Answer 6

I have a bi-racial child and another one on the way. The most inconsiderate thing that was said to me actually came from my so called family. Actually, I could give you a whloe list, but I'd run out of space. So, the worst thing said came from my step-dad. Wegot into an argument because his son called my baby an oreo. He told me that I would have to get used to ppl saying things like that b/c Id be dealling with it all her life. I got mad and said that he wasnt suppossed to say things like that b/c he's suppossed to be family. At which point he said to me,"Well its your own fault for being stupid enough to get pregnant for a n_____. You get the picture. Basically, he said my daughter is a mistake becauser she's mixed. I'm not a violent person, but my mother had to physically pull me from the room because I was about to hurt him.

Answer 7

Yes! I asked a question (on yahoo answers) about my alimony from my ex-husband. I was called a whore, and told to get a job, and someone even said that I was mooching off of him.....I left him after 12 years of abuse (it was also said that It is a free country & why didn't I leave him earlier)...

Obviously these people know nothing about spouse abuse, the effects and how good a person can be at keeping another person prisoner....Abusers are also VERY good at being a Mr. Jeckle and Mr Hyde type of person. Alimony is for ANYONE who is divorced...it is a temporary income to give divorced person who has the lower income (I left with very few things!) to have time to get on their feet financially. I will get alimony for 5 years.

Answer 8

When I had a miscarriage, a number of well-meaning people said something to the effect of "it is for for best because there was probably something wrong with the baby." A woman already knows that something was wrong and she is beating herself up wondering if she did something to cause this. Telling her that it is for the best doesn't make her feel better as it certainly does seem for the best and it never will!
As for your situation, I think the best thing to do is just look, people right in the eye and say, " we adopted him because he needed us and we needed him and we love each other, that is all that is important, end of discussion!"

Answer 9

ok, I have something for ya... I am fertile,and can emphatize with you,as my sister went through the same thing, twenty years ago,with "julie" their oldest,who was multi-racial,and they adopted her when she was two days old,through open adoption. To see her, she appeared to be white with almond-shaped eyes,and freckles, but was Asian,black, and white. people's ignorance will always be,and the best advice I can offer you,(as my oldest daughter is of mixed heritage,and that was by My choice,as she is Apache,Hispanic,and Irish,and Cherokee.)is this: prepare him as best you can by telling him to be proud of each of his heritages,and not to look down upon those who share it. Being that I am of the Cherokee and Irish heritages,and I appear white, I have not had any type of problems that come with being bi-racial,but my daughter, has had many challenges from her heritages,especially because she appears " light Mexican," and can pass for Hispanic. Tell your son that other people's ignorances are not his fault,and that you love him , no matter what his heritages are,and that he is your natural kid, because he was a gift to you. I don't know if you are religious, but my mom told me that God made different people different shades because He got tired of plain paper and wanted His packages wrapped with different colored paper. What counts is what is on the inside... NOT the wrapping! Raise him to be moral,just, honest, caring and gentle to animals ( animal lover , here! lol) tolerant of other's, and kind,and you will have done the best you can do, as a parent. And,that, my friend, is the best advice I can give, from one parent of a muli-racial kid, to another.Peace to you as well!

Answer 10

I have had alot of stupid things said to me- but the one that takes the cake was actually said to a friend- she had like 4 kids, and was pregnant well she lost the baby around like 6 months or something and someone actually said to her- it shouldn't matter you have 4 other kids- I though that was pretty insensitive it doesnt matter how many you have you always love your babies. as far as your situation- i think people really need to get over this damn color thing- who cares what you look like as long as you have love in your heart- no wonder there is so much hate in this world- it makes me sick

Answer 11

Just keep reminding him that you love him more than anything in the whole wide world, and I'm sure he'll be fine, What a lucky boy!
I think the stupidest remark that has been said to my face is, "Do you know you are putting on weight?" Thank you so much for the information--I was wondering why none of my clothes fit me! You know I have no mirror in the house, so I really couldn't tell. DUH!