Is a person ever really out of the closet?
A couple of points of view I have are:
1) Coming out of the closet could mean when you are out to yourself, your family and your friends. The problem here is, we all make new friends throughout our life. Are we constantly throughout our lives coming out to new people? Are we really ever out of the closet if this is the case?
2) A person is out of the closet when they feel no more need to hide their sexuality from anyone. Sure, from time to time, and because we live in a heteronormative society (a society that assumes heterosexuality) the person may need to tell someone that they are not straight. This isn't really "coming out" though, merely fixing someone's assumption that we are straight.
Of course, for transgendered people, it can be even harder, because it's easier for a gay person to make their sexual identity a non issue, it can be less obvious
So I ask, when do you think a person, if ever, is out of the closet?
2006-08-11 06:19:35 · 11 answers · asked by Shaun B 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
when you no longer care if people know your sexuality or not. I will discuss it if I am asked or it is relevant to the conversation..but I don't feel the need to push it at people ..anymore than I would say..'you know I'm really an evolutionist'---it simply is part of me..not of how I behave to the outside world
2006-08-11 08:08:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Coming out of the closet is an ongoing process for a gay person. Everytime you meet someone new it happens all over again. I guess it gets easier with time for some, but I always wonder how it will be taken.
And you are right, for a transgendered person its more complicated. First you "come out" by telling those close to you that you are transgendered. Then you come out again in your "new" gender. The later, if you are passing well you have to decide whether or not to come out to anyone as trans. And then if you are transgendered AND gay another layer of coming out is added.
2006-08-11 14:59:55 · answer #2 · answered by Drewe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am out in some aspects and not out in others. I am out in the sense that I love myself and accept myself now and I have a few close friends I am out too, but as far as my family knowing what I do in bed that is so complicated that there is not a real incentive to come out. Also G0y don't really come out since we value discretion. If I come out as g0y it kind of hurts my chances of finding another g0y to have a friendship with because every friend I have will be suspected of being a g0y relationship and that is just none of any-ones business.
I think people like to put their business out in the street too much anyway. I am a firm believer in boundaries and some people don't have a good sense of when my wanting to know and your need to tell me stuff I don't want to know ends and begins.
2006-08-11 13:49:05 · answer #3 · answered by ♂ Randy W. ♂ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think coming out of the closet, means when you admit to yourself that you are gay.
Also, you can come out to your friends and not your relatives, or your relatives and not your friends, it just means you came out of the closet to other people.
Telling someone you're not straight when you meet them, must mean you're already open about your sexuality and wanting to set them straight like you said though. You're already open about it so it's not really coming out to them, you're just telling them to fix an assumption.
2006-08-11 15:52:53 · answer #4 · answered by Adam G 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i feel that a person is out when they can stand up proud of who they are and who they love and when they do not care what stupid people have to say tring to put them down for being in love
and when the meet some one new they do not feel the need to hide the bigest part of themselves
2006-08-15 10:42:56 · answer #5 · answered by crazzykid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you no longer feel like you have a "secret" and you truly don't care who knows. (Excepting situations where it may be hazardous, such as travel to a foreign country.) Option 2 would be closest to my opinion.
2006-08-11 15:38:45 · answer #6 · answered by GreenEyedLilo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess its when your not afraid to admit it to anyone who asks. Be it yourselfe or friends/family even random strangers :p
2006-08-11 15:27:34 · answer #7 · answered by sined 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A person is out when he can type "gay" instead of "g0y" on his company keyboard
2006-08-11 14:32:26 · answer #8 · answered by Brent J 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
when they are comfortable enough to share it with others. it ain't one small step for gays, it's a lifelong process really. the closet doesn't just disappear overnight!
2006-08-11 14:19:34 · answer #9 · answered by hsvpanther 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When they love themselves for who they are and don't care who else knows it.
2006-08-11 13:30:36 · answer #10 · answered by unclefrunk 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋