I need help i need to know the future of my marriage?

Question

when I got married me and my family in law did not get a long and we had fight right after the wedding because my husband is their elder son they were dependent on him in every thing and because of that i had a fight with them and i cut all the ties between me and them and i dont go to their house and they dont come to my house and we dont talk to each others for six years and because the bad things that they say and did about me I told my husband to cut his relationship with them but I know that he talks to them and he dont care about me and he does not stop them from saying bad things about me especially his dad i hate him so much a year a go i heard that he said alot bad things about me I called him and asked him to stop talking about me and cursed me and said alot bad words and I did the same thing too but my husband love them and he is still talking to them can u give me your opinion about my proplem and the future of my marriage i have 2 little kids and I am christian.

Answer 1

XXXXXXXXXXXXX your husband needs to set his priorities to a higher level and put his wife and kids first. He is loosing your respect by doing this. You won't be able to strengthen your marriage until she is out of the picture. My in-law tried to control my marriage and I showed my husband the door and said it would not happen in my home. This was 13 years ago. Now if my mother-in-law says something ill about me or our kids he is the first to correct her. Which is the way it should be. Good luck hun. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Answer 2

You cannot possibly win in a fight with his parents. The best you can hope for is a truce. Why would you try to drive that wedge even deeper? Here's his options. Leave you and see his family
or not see his family and be upset with you continuously. You are putting him in a bad situation. You had better come to an understanding quickly. He sees his parents and takes the kids to see the grandparents, which is your children's right, and you stay away. If you cannot see clear to go with them then don't. But understand that you are the bad guy here. You will never change their opinion of you by being a spiteful child. You cannot change their mind or behavior. You can only change yourself and your behavior. They need to learn that you are a worthy member of the family not by fighting but by being a good example. Its time for you to get over it and exhibit some of that Christianity before you lose your marriage.

Answer 3

Well first of all. Everyone that is in a realtionship has problems, completly normal. I think that you shouldn't tell your husband not to speak to his family. However, if he is your man and loves you and is devoted to you if his dad is talking shi* or what not, he should stand up to his father and tell him something like this: "Dad, I dont appreciate you talking bad about my wife. You and I are grown men and if you dont have anything nice to say dont say it at all. If you cannot respect my WIFE then you are not respecting me, and if this continues I am going to have to cut my ties with you as my father and the family" something like that. He cut the ties you didn't tell him to stop talking to his family. And if he cannot stand up for you and be your man and a shoulder to cry on and such, you need to go and he will realize what he has lost and if you do take him back he will not ever take you for granted.

Answer 4

Since you said you are a Christian, how can you say you hate someone first of all? Christian means "Christ like". Did Jesus hate people? He died for people who hated Him - He didn't hold grudges and stop speaking to them. I can understand being hurt about things that have been said in anger, and they are wrong for doing that, but so are you for retaliating. If you are a Christian and they are not, then you are the example they see of a Christian woman - are you any different from them? If they also claim to be Christians then they are setting a poor example for the rest of the world by the way they are acting. My advice for your marriage would be to get your spiritual life straightened out first and foremost - be the Godly woman that you are supposed to be and other things will fall into place. I would love to help you more if you would like to e-mail me, but I hate to take up a lot of space here with scripture references and such. If you are serious I am trained in Christian counseling.

Answer 5

You cannot stop him from seeing his parent. Tell him to go but you are sorry but it best you don't go. . Tell him to also to tell them he cannot take the children over there, if they are talking about you. . They will hear things and you are there mother, they should stop an show some respect for you at least around the children. There are others that are going thru the same thing. It is hard for your husband to be in middle.,more than you know. Also tell your husband to stand up for you and tell them if they cannot say any thing nice about you then he does not what to hear it. You are his wife and and they have to except it.Maybe in time things will work out , don't it cause you and your husband to break up. Good Luck Pem

Answer 6

There is no future to your marriage at this point. If you push your husband he will choose his parents, you know that.

Someone has to be mature and take the first step. Was the fight really that bad? Could your husband help get you with just one relative to start the healing process? Meeting one person would not be as bad as facing all of them at once, and if you win over the one relative you will have someone else to help settle things.

You know that is the best thing for you to do. Your children need to know their grandparents, and you don't want them to wonder why mommy never visits with them.

I think it is high time for you (with the help of your husband) to start getting involved with his family.

Answer 7

Amoung the first thing they teach you in the Bible is how to turn the other cheek. I don't see much of that from either side. As for your husband and his family-Blood is definetely thicker than water and I think that you should realize that. How can a "Christian" woman ask her husband to choose? Without even trying to smooth things over with her husband's family. If you do not resolve this problem it will ruin your marriage.

Answer 8

you can pick your mate but you can't pick your in laws, it all comes in the same package, if you only take what you want your kids will never know gram maw/grad paw and when they get the chance to meet them all they will here a bout is how YOU kept them apart, and you will be the bad guy, sit down with them at a new restaurant of your choice, take them out and talk , just talk, catch up on family things, you can have your hubby tell them when they walk in that your here to talk about things, for the kids sake you need to get this behind you, all of you !! give it one more chance and if it doesn't work out then you and hubby need to set some rules and stick with them, good luck you have a hard road to travel

Answer 9

Well I am not even going to lie to you if this continues you two will end up in divorce. If you don't try to stop these problems know then it will only get worse. I f he does not respect you enough to tell them when they have went to far then you need to be with some who will. I know you love him but sometimes you need more than love because this is not a healthy marriage and you do not need your kids to see that they don't respect you as a woman. I believe you will make it on your own with your kids. It is better to have respect than no respect at all

Answer 10

Ignore your in-laws. If you are a better person than them then you can just ignore and not worry about what they say against you. and No matter what try not to say any bad stuff about them in front of your husband (you can say whatever you want when you are alone). as time goes by your husband will realize that only his parents are the ones saying bad stuff. Trust me this works.