i have been with my husband for 8 years and have always liked flirting with his bestfriend? at first it was cute and fun but then i started wanted to see him more and i just want to know why am i feeling like this? i love my hubby and am happy but its a feeling like you want something you can't have or shouldnt have, it does not help that his buddy likes me and we have the same feelings, please help
2006-08-11 05:32:56 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think its only fare to stop hanging around him. Thats why they say never have ur friends around ur mate bc they are around so much u grow close but then that line is there. Stop being in his company and tell ur husband u feel wierd bc he to involved in u alls life. If u want ur marriage u already know what to do!!
2006-08-11 05:38:10 · answer #1 · answered by leenabootie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look at the relationship you have with your hubby and the one you have with the buddy. What does the relationship with the buddy offer you that you don't have with your hubby. For most women, we stray when something is missing in our marriages and we seek it elsewhere. Try to figure out what it is you're seeking and then talk to your hubby. You never know, he may be missing the same thing and you can turn a potentially harmful situation into a more positive and stronger relationship with your hubby.
Whatever you do, do not tell your hubby about your mutual attraction to his friend. You'd only just hurt him and may damage your relationship needlessly. Good luck.
2006-08-11 05:59:38 · answer #2 · answered by married2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Careful, you are getting ready to make a life change. We all want other people sometimes. We put of defenses to most of the world. When we don't put up that fence as in the case of your hubby's buddy, no good will come of it.
You know what I'm doing tonight, tomorrow, and Sunday? Nothing. My wife and I have split over an affair that i had with a FAMILY FRIEND that I didn't put up that defense to. It was the biggest mistake in my life. It was a life changing mistake and I hurt my wife.
I know that my wife is the only woman I will ever love, but that doesn't matter now. It's too late, I have already made the mistake and can't take it back.
If you love your husband and you want to spend your life with him, put up that fense! Make boundies that count.
2006-08-11 05:41:59 · answer #3 · answered by Thomas 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is bad enough with the flirting, but wanting more? First of all, he is not even a stranger or someone you see once in a while; it is your husband's best friend. Not that is would make it ok if he was a stranger or anything else. Woman, don't you have any shame? His best friend? As a matter a fact, he should not even be called his best friend because he has not respect for your husband to even think of wanted to mess with you. You people have no respect for yourselves. Is it worth ending your marriage over a fling? That is just what it is, a fling. If he don't have any respect for himself or his best friend, what makes you think he will have any for you? I am not perfect, but one thing I would not do is cheat. You and your husband's friend are just worthless.
2006-08-11 05:55:44 · answer #4 · answered by killerlegs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't get some kinda closure to the flirting and set it aside you'll end up having an affair. -- The type of affair that usually comes out in the open eventually. Or so much tension and then anger about the vibes between "you two" abounds.
Get closure and put this junk out with your other trash. Everybody gets excited and has sexy flirtations on occasion, "you two" aren't special. Quit acting like you have this unique connection - it's cheap. Look at it as outsider and see how you are. No excuses.
2006-08-11 06:01:06 · answer #5 · answered by Ann 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boundries!!!!!
Everyone gets tempted...everyone!
Your attraction will pass if you set up the proper boundries (like no flirting with him).
Try to get from your husband the 'fun' stuff you share with this guy. Talk to him, because he can't read your mind.
Incredibly, our minds allow us to play games both ways. Right now you are sneaking around, & it's fun. You can play those games with the hubby & have the same fun (sneak into a church & do him on the alter, for example). Make your hubby "the secret lover".
2006-08-11 05:45:34 · answer #6 · answered by hellsbells 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From my experience, this happens. In fact, it's happened to me several times. If you love your hubby, do not act on those feelings! Focus on what you love about your husband, and what you don't love about his friend (you married your husband for good reason, right?), and after awhile the feelings will fade and/or turn into platonic affection.
It's human nature to crave the new and exciting, but we have powers of reasoning too. Don't be a slave to your feelings, be who you want to be.
2006-08-11 05:51:35 · answer #7 · answered by beanie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting extra attention is always nice. When you are enjoying it too much, or feeling like acting upon it you have a problem. Maybe your husband isn't giving you the warm and cozy feelings that he use to. Try looking at that a bit, and maybe talking about it with him.
If you are truly that attracted to his friend, then maybe you really aren't as happy with your husband as you think.
2006-08-11 06:05:28 · answer #8 · answered by Valarie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay away from the best friend! Don't avoid him, but change the way you act towards him. No flirting.
Think of this: How would you like it if your husband came on to your best friend? You would feel hurt and devastated by BOTH people!
2006-08-11 05:39:33 · answer #9 · answered by Blond Logic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT ACT UPON IT. YOU CAN HAVE FANTASY BUT THAT IS IT. If you love your man then you need to contain yourself and show some self control. If there are kids in the picture you better show some self control because you will spoil their outlook on you as well because secrets always come out. Don't mess things up in your marriage it is not worth the pleasure.
2006-08-11 05:42:34 · answer #10 · answered by blondiebella 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋