Used my husbands credit card w/o his permission-he found out. How can I save my marriage and earn his trust?

Question

I am paying the debt myself and did not make any late payments. Used it for last 2 months w/o his permission or knowledge. This is second time in our relationship (7 years together-1married) that I have lied about money. Now he doesn't know if he can stay married b/c of trust issues. Please give advice -

Just want to clarify that this is first time using credit card - doesn't make it any better but wanted to clarify that. The last trust issue was about bills getting paid on time.

Answer 1

i guess i would want to know whay the money was spent. Was it spent on household neccessities or was it more like a shopping/spending addiction?

i went through this same thing with my wife (she racked up about 5 grand in debt on credit cards i didn't know she had and only found out when our joint checking card was declined buying groceries).

in the end I came to the realization that money shouldn't be an issue on which trust is built or broken, fidelity yes, child rearing yes, but money, money will come and go, getting worked up over it serves no purpose.

however for awhile there was a definite problem. We got through that by coming to an agreement about budgetting and ging over all the books together on a weekly basis. It sucked, she was pissed off and defensive all the time we were doing this, but in the end that's what it took for me to feel secure about how we handled our finances.

I suggest (and the women on this site are going to get all up in arms about this) that for the next few months let him put you on a budget. be accountable to him explicitly until her feels things are back in order.

Answer 2

why are you lying about using his credit cards? Whay not just tell him, especially if you're making the payments. As for the trust, you & he need to sit down and discuss finances openly and honestly and work out a budget you both can live with. Then stick with it. No more using his credit card w/o his permission and no more shopping without his knowledge.

Answer 3

stop lieing to him about money.... if you have only lied to him twice in 7 years about money....... then you do not have a problem with lieing and you can stop doing it........ there is no reason to lie and you can if you don't already, get your own credit cards to use......... he should be greatful though that at least you are paying them off and your payments aren't late......... I can't even begin to tell you how many women do that and run out on the man leaving him to fork the bill. Good luck.................

Answer 4

He has good reasons not to trust you because you are not trustworthy. Admitting that you were wrong and making payments is a good start, but wounds take a long time to heal.

Answer 5

It should NOT be a big deal about you using his credit card you are married but you should also not lie to him.

Answer 6

Stop spending his money. If you didnt learn the first time then there's no hope for ya.

Answer 7

I am wondering why you are married yet he has separate accounts? You should have told him you were going to use it, however, I don't think you should have to ask since it should belong to both of you. He is your husband, not your father.

Answer 8

I think your husband is a bit of a twit

Answer 9

ya'll will have to do a lot of talking and it will take a lot to rebuild if you can. maybe go into credit counseling?

Answer 10

ur married...u should be able to use his credit card...u two should be as one person and you shouldn't fight over little things like that