Is my ex's wife trying to steal my kids from me?

Question

This isn't just jealousy on my part. My ex and his new wife, who he was seeing while married to me but won't admit it to anyone, are both very controlling people. Now my 9 year old tells me that her step-mom has been trying to get her to call her Mom. I asked my 3 year old "Who is your Momma?" She said her step-mom's name. I'm offended by this lack of respect. I know some kids call their stepparents Mom and Dad, but given the situation I think this is very disrespectful.

Answer 1

Are you a girl or a boy hello!!

Answer 2

Call the woman up and talk to her about it. Talk to your ex. Let the woman know that she should not be pushing them to call her Mom. I would feel hurt in this situation if it was me. But take a step back and look at the situaton as a whole. The 3 year old might think it's fun to have 2 Moms. The nine year old probably isn't too sure. Your ex, the cheating scab, and his new wife, the little hussy, probably think they are going to married for quite a while and want the children to feel comfortable in their home. I lived with a man that had 3 children and they eventually started calling me Mom. I had one tell me, "well, you're with my dad aren't you?". And that's the aspect your children are seeing it from. They will always know in their hearts that you are their true mother and they will always love you. Nothing can take that away. You can't blame your 3 year old for her answer but when you ask her that, and she says the step moms name, just tickle her and say, "No, no, no, I'm the Momma". My children would never even think to call another woman Mom. Even their friends call me Momz. And yes, even my ex-boyfriends children still call me mom. And their friends call me Momz. Some people just fall easily into this catagory. Maybe she's one of them. Just let your children know that you love them everyday and that you are the one true Mom (from the Lion King). On another note, if you met a man and married him what would they call him?

Answer 3

I too think its disrespectful for another woman to request that a 3 year old call her 'Mommy'. She has a mother and that is you. I don't think its necessarily an act of jealousy.

In time your children might feel very comfortable with their new step mom and there is nothing wrong with that. It would make life so much easier for our children if their parents simply got alone!!

Just keep loving your children ... they know who their Mom is and will never forget it. Perhaps if a big deal isn't made of it then it will blow over soon.

You might talk to your ex about the fact that this makes you uncomfortable. Maybe he can help take care of this problem from his end by dealing with his new wife.

Good luck to you.

Answer 4

I was once in the same situation, just reversed. I made friends with the mom and WE shared the mommy role. The kids called us both "mom" and we all got along. The other mom and I referred to each other as "wife in law". I lost my wife in law just a few months ago to cancer but I still have contact with the children, who still call me Mom. Those kids knew who their biological mother was but they knew me as their mom too. It really takes some willpower and some swallowing of ones pride to "share" kids and be friends when in today's society it's not common and people expect the ex and their spouses to NOT get along. Get out of the norm and BE friends.... you will both benefit from it and so will the children.

Don't be resentful... talk with your ex and his new wife and try to come to some compromise... for the sake of the children cause that is what it's all about... THE CHILDREN. You can all raise them together if you all just talk and work out your problems together.

Good luck and God bless....

Answer 5

You are right to feel offended about her trying to influence the relationship between a mother and child. Let her know she did not carry them for 9 months and raise them. She may have taken a few of his loads but that did make her a mother. At least not the mother to Your children. You can also tell him to give her their own children not yours. Let your children know they only have one mother and that is you. Just like they only have one father and although the two of you are no longer together the parenting position did not change. They can call him daddy or dad and should call you mommy or mom but call his new wife by her name or nickname. Never mommy or mother.

Answer 6

nicely, that's what happens once you have a new child with somebody and that they marry somebody else. Your son ought to be waiting to spend time together with his father, and his father's new spouse is a factor of the deal. i'm sorry you do no longer like it. That being mentioned...what's incorrect with having a loving Momma sparkling? it is not as though she is insisting he call her Mommy. He replaced into little, and it appears like he continues to be distinctly youthful, so he won't be waiting to make experience of the finished subject. that's a solid ingredient that your ex boyfriend's spouse is so solid to the new child--there are assorted babies who wish they have been that fortunate. i think of you're basically being oversensitive and may well be bitter that your ex left you and married this different lady. in line with possibility speaking to a marriage and kin therapist could assist you out. Your son isn't picking her over you! Your son isn't sufficiently old to try this. He talks approximately her because of the fact it sort of appears like he spends an excellent sort of time together with her and he's prepared on her. could you be that indignant if your son talked approximately his dad or a buddy from college each and every of the time? of direction no longer. you're basically bitter, and in line with possibility feeling insecure approximately your parenting skills. you need to get some expert help to artwork with the aid of your emotions, because of the fact wager what? Your ex-boyfriend's spouse is your son's STEPMOTHER. each and every thing which you defined on your question is totally ideal and proper habit between a stepparent and stepchild, and in case you weren't so busy making the situation all approximately you, you would be waiting to be chuffed that your son has this sort of robust courting together with his stepmom. it is not a contest, so provide up appearing love that's, and for heaven's sake, do no longer take it out on your son.

Answer 7

Fight for what you believe in. That is very disrespectful. And his new wife should of talked to you about it first. Sit down with your daughter and talk to her about everything. She might be confused and just listening to what the new mommy is telling her. Bring it up with the new wife and make sure she understands what you are telling her. She also, might be jelious about you having kids and everything. she might be having a issue with herself and maybe not having young kids of her own. Ask, your daughter if she wants to call her mommy if not than let her stop.. You are her real mom who gave birth to her and no one can take your place and you should make sure everyone knows that.

Answer 8

Here is the thing, do not bad mouth the Ex in front of your kids, show the kids that you are better then that. Do not let your kids no that it bothers you. Ask your kid how they feel about it. Your kids will see who the better parent is in the end. Who has placement of the kids? I would also talk to your ex and let him no how this is confusing the kids. Be tactful, do not yell or scream. When he starts yelling at you just keep your voice calm. If he continues to yell then hang up on him.

Answer 9

Talk to your ex about this. She may have some jealousy of you for being his wife and having his child and want to get back at you through your son. On the other hand, she may just love the boy,

Answer 10

This is a result caused by the step moms encouragement...don't take this to personal or blame the children because they are being manipulated...they know the difference, but are being lead to call it something else...be the Mom you always have been and that will always ring true...I can imagine this is hurt full to hear but your children do not mean any harm.

Answer 11

Number one, You should be asking your husband what the is going on here and number two, why would you be asking a complete stranger in your life what you should be doing to correct this problem why not just call this young lady yourself and ask her the question " WHY are You". .?
Who else would have the better answer for you..
Go to the source..