Don't Jugde A Book By The Cover??

Question

Everyone always says not to jugde a book by its cover, right? Should you apply that to people, like you dont really care what they look like it whats on the inside that counts? Would that make you gay or bisexual for liking someone of the same sex just because you like their personality but don't really care that they are a girl, or guy?? If you really wanted to find your "soul mate" or "true love" shouldn't you look at everyone. Why only look through half of the population when their are twice as many people out there?? What are your opinions on this? Im Just wondering.

Answer 1

i think that it should apply to people as well!!! i dont care what you look like if i fall in love with a person its not gonna be by what they look like! i want ot be able to have conversations with them!

Answer 2

well, the whole point of the phrase is exactly what you said, apply it to people and dont judge them on how they look. but i think you're taking it a little further by saying that you would be gay for liking someone you dont judge. i think its more of a personality thing. like, as an example, dont judge someone just because they are black/white/asia... or because they are "nerdy" or "jocks". you need to actually get to know a person before you can make a judgement. as for the soul mate, that person can be of any gender. a soul mate has nothing to do with true love, they are completely different. my soul mate is my best friend, a female, who thankfully i met when i was young. i know i will always be with this person and that no matter what happens we will "love" each other unconditionally. but there is nothing sexual there. my true love, on the other hand, male, i took the "dont judge a book..." thing to heart. he was someone that if i had had prejudgements i probably wouldnt have though twice to ask out. most people would look at him and just decide he's fat which means he's probably lazy and probably a slob. but thats why you cant judge people beforehand.

Answer 3

i agree with you 100%!! I often asked myself that as well. Had I not been willing to look at the entire population, I am almost positive that I would have ended up with a miserable relationship with some man...

but you are so right! since when does a person's gender determine if I can love them or how much I can love them. Isn't love supposed to be limitless??

people seem to be ok with judging a book by its cover until they are the ones being judged

Answer 4

Yes, yes, YES! That would be such a healthier world in which to live. Most would likely find they prefer an opposite mate, but they'd be accepting of those who don't since they'd be open to it for themselves. Imagine the other prejudices and bigotries that would fall by the way-side, too. Not fearing that you may be different than the majority, knowing you'd be accepted anyway, would also reduce fear of those with differences from your own. It might be a stretch to extend that shift in life philosophy to other issues, but I think it would. Yes, I'd like that world very much.

BTW, it's more than liking a personality that defines sexual orientation. Sexual attraction and romantic love are necessary, too.

Answer 5

Yeah you are right, we shouldn't judge a book by it's cover but most of us do subconsciously every single day, even if our judgments are positive ones. Anyway to your wonderings... i see where you are coming from, essentially we are all brains... you know. Underneath all the flesh and bones is a brain, and how do we know which brain to love, well i get that bit, but then it comes down to attraction and how the look of someone appeals to our brain, you might see a gorgeous hansome or beautiful woman and be aware that they are conventionally beautiful, but not feel attracted to them. But there will be someone who you feel an initiall attraction towards for reasons you might not even be aware of. That is where our sexual preferences come from, who we find attractive. I on the other hand am with someone i didn't find initially attractive, but i sure did like his brain,,, his mind. Just go with the flow, if you find you are attracted to the minds of women or men just enjoy it. xxx

Answer 6

There's a word for people who date based SOLELY on personality etc.: "pansexual". (It's also more inclusive of people who aren't on the polar ends of the gender spectrum).

I don't know if it's a matter of gender socialization (such that men have more traits that I find attractive) or the "shallow" part of me that DOES need at least some physical attraction (which, for whatever reason, I don't get from women), but I couldn't do this. There are MANY people who do, however, and I say good for them.

Answer 7

Well, for a time i was considered a 'hedonisitic bisexual'(i hate labels), as i maintained a relationship with a man, but continued to have affairs with women only. I think it was about companionship and pleasure too. my man was great- but i never felt close to him or particularly enjoyed having sex either. i did not actively seek out women- it wasa case that i just prefered female company. you can relate better with some people than with others you know. i hope this answers a bit.

Answer 8

Because straight people are only intersted in finding sex, or true love, or anything, with females.

If you find someone you can connect with, and you're straight, chances are they'll be a great friend though.

It's not realistic to say people don't judge a book buy their cover, because most people don't act that way. Of course I could just be pessimistic about it.

Answer 9

In a perfect world a persons beauty would only be judged by how they where inside. But unfortunately we live in this world and our various discriminations are based on our experience and those things that we learn. Instinct also comes into play quite a bit. We instinctively are attracted to those people that have qualities we admire. For heterosexual women it is men with good bone structure and/or good earning potential. Pheromones have a hand in that we are able to determine by smell how similar genetically a person is to us and are often turned off by the smell of someone who is too like us genetically. This again would seem to be instinctive. As a person who is too similar to us genetically would not be a good partner with which to breed.
I would like to think I do not judge a book by its cover for most things but sexually we can't always change who we are attracted to. I mean I like big beefy muscular men not into skinny guys and not into effeminate men. I never have been attracted to that type. I can't change that. I have many friends that match those criteria but I am not attracted to them sexually. Likewise I like my women petite and ample I like a woman with a little meat on her bones, Never really liked skinny chicks or women with straight lines. I like curves and softness.
I wont change that and really have never wanted to change that.
I don’t judge a woman’s physical appearance on wither I would be her friend or not and I have on occasion been attracted to a woman that was not physically beautiful before. My wife is a beauty and was not my type physically when we first met but my type changed. I didn't like blonds and I liked small framed curvy women now I like big boned curvy blonds. I don't understand it but I also don't question it.
I enjoy who ever God sends my way and learn what I can from them.

Answer 10

You hear that saying a lot, but how practical is it? If I am going to hire someone to work in a day care center, who should I hire - a young woman who is neatly dressed and groomed or a young man with a green and red mohawk, 5 piercings in his face, and wearing ripped clothes that are three sizes too big? The young man may be more qualified, but will he scare the children and their parents away from the day care center with his looks?