Should you tell your partner if you cheated?

Question

Would having a child make it worse to tell, or is it better to think about your own feelings (relieving yourself of the guilt), or to think about the children and do whatever it takes to keep the marriage together?

Answer 1

If you truly are sorry, and REALLY love your spouse - do NOT tell them. People always take the easy way out, and relieve themselves of the guilt by handing that burden to someone who loves them. That's beyond cruel and selfish.

What you did is your responsibility, and if you think you can be happy with your spouse...do so by holding in your dirty little secret forever.

Telling your partner you cheated would just put unnecessary pain on them, and place them into a difficult situation for the rest of thier life with you.

Answer 2

If you are truly regretful for what you've done and you are committed to never doing it again then it would be best left untold. You must first be able to let it go so that you can move on with your life. Telling your partner will destroy all the trust and faith he may have in you. Being cheated on is something someone can never forget. And although your partner may love you enough to forgive you he will never forget the betrayal and deep down inside he may wonder if it could happen again. He may also blame himself and wonder what he did Wong that made you stray. You may work it out but your relationship will never be the same and you don't want that to affect your child. If you love him make it work! And just remember - that sometimes - the grass isn't always greener. Best of luck to you and your family.

Answer 3

You should not tell him that you had an affair. I do call it cheating. I can see that you have guilt and if I were you, I would try to justify it: does your husband satisfy you, is he interested in sex, Is he always tired. try to justify it and forget it. If you tell him, I am sure that he would hit the roof and any relationship that you are trying to save will be deeper in trouble. having a child would definitely make it worse. I am sure that he would have doubts as to whether or not it is his child. Unburden the guilt and go on with life. People have done worse things than had affairs.

Answer 4

The cheating is just a symptom of a bigger problem it seems. You know honesty is very important but in this case it seems to be a real problem. I suppose you want to get it off your chest because of the guilt, but you might be causing more problems. Think about why you cheated and how you feel about the relationship.

Answer 5

is there a child? if so yes you should tell. it will be hard and hurt him allot, but he should know. If you don't tell then you are being selfish as you put it. How could a person hold in so much guilt? I couldn't and wouldn't.
Then you do allot of praying and asking to try to work out the marriage if it is important to you.

Good luck and hope all turns out for the best.

Answer 6

Major question now is are you going to do it again? If yes, you need to tell your partner and get this over with. If not I just wouldn't say anything. There are bigger responsibilities than the truth when you have children if that makes any since.

Answer 7

If this is a "blooper" and not a consistant behavior and you are committed to the marital relationship, shut up! This is your issue and a bit of therapy as to why it happened would be helpful. If you anticipate another time when you will cheat, different story and look for the solution in other areas.

Answer 8

Your options are limited.
If you're the kind that can keep this a secret and keep your family together, go for it.
If your concious is messing with you, then you will need to deal with the fallout after telling them.

Answer 9

If your partner had cheated wouldnt you want to know? Honesty is what makes a relationship work.

Answer 10

I've been there before, but we were actually seperated at the time. I was going to try to hold it in because I knew that it would ruin our family, but he actually found out. Good LucK!