How much to tolerate...?

Question

Alright on very slim occasions my boyfriend gets drunk. Last night was one of those occasions and he told his ex-girlfriend he missed her blah blah would never forget his first love and all of that. Should I be mad?-he was drunk. But on the other hand don't they say that the drunken mind speaks the sober heart? This situation is very confusing for me and I don't know quite how to handle it. I don't know whether to get rid of him, or just blow this whole thing over. Advice PLEASE!

Answer 1

If he were my bf he would be gone...

Answer 2

Well considering the source, I don't know how seriously you should take my response. Regardless, consider this a thank you. Your answer has helped me.
The best thing to do in your situation is talk to your man, without any presumptions. It is equally possible that he meant every word he said to his ex AND that he was so drunk off his *** he didn't even know who he was talking to that night. Ask him about his feelings for his ex, straight up. You'll be able to see if his answer is honest or not. If you want this relationship to last, all you can do is step up and communicate your feelings and insecurities and hope everything goes well.
Whether I stay with my own girlfriend or not, I will always have a special place for her in my heart, no matter who I meet later in life, since she is my first love. So even if some of what he said might be true, that doesn't neccessarily mean he would prefer her over you. So talk to him and find out what his true feelings are (when he's sober!). And if things go bad, well, there are plenty of other fish in the sea!

P.S. Again, consider the source :p

Answer 3

I know when I get drunk I always tell my current boyfriend of six years to get the hell out of my house cuz I think he's a pedophile or I think he's a cheater or that I just don't love him anymore. Anyways I apologize the next day and say I did not mean it. The only problem is I haven't drank in over six months and I really don"t know how I feel. I'm guessing I really don't love him the right way. Mostly I feel sorry for him so I stay with him. I'm not happy. My point being is I believe when we are drunk we say the things we think about when we are sober but don't have the guts to say out loud. He might still love her but love you too. His love for her is a memory, one that he holds dear. As long as it is in the past it is normal for him to say these things. I think everyone misses that first love. Don't worry unless he starts hanging out with her and paying more attention to her than you. Don't you have someone else you hold dear in your heart? It doesn't mean you'll run off with this guy just that it is a fond MEMORY. Talk to him about it. Clear the air you'll feel better. I have to thank you for posting this question. Answering it has helped me come to a very important decision. I know know that I'm going to leave him. I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders!

Answer 4

It was only drunk that your boyfriend talks about his ex?
Sorry, but do you believe it is a good reason to break the relation if all the rest is going so well....
Haven't you ever dreamed about another man, or thought how nice he is, etc?
Drunk people might sometimes be more sincere because they loose their sense of what can be said-done or not, but in most of the cases what you listen comes distortion, and is part from the past mixed up with imagination and intoxication.
Is not easier to wait till you find the right moment to talk - he must be sober- and then tell him what is hurting you so much?
It will be a relief for you, and you might listen to him laughing because of the ***** of his ex-girlfriend that he cannot stand anymore -
-

Answer 5

As i see things he would never stop this, if there is anyone he should be calling its you, i have just had a break up and believe me u lucky he tells you wait till you hear about it from the ex. I will tell him to take a hike and that might scare him, but it is in his drunken state and thats when he needs an ex, i have no compassion for this, little by little it can kill your relationship and you would be left with no confidence and you the one crying not him, wake up smell the roses he is going to get worse.

Answer 6

I've heard that too. When you're mad or drunk, you speak the truth. So sit him down when he's sober and ask him. Tell him you want him to be with you, only you. But he needs to decide wether he's gonna run off to his ex, or stay with you. And it could get bad, or it could be ok, but either way, he'll have faced it and made a commitment, and you can either move on and begin again with someone better, or stay with him and be with him as long as possible.
Goodluck to you.

Answer 7

I know it is a kind of hurting .Try speaking to him to him when he is in his senses.ask him is he serious about the relationship with you at present.past is past ask him whether he could forget the past ans start a new life with you.if he agress from his heart then go ahead and give him another chance .but if he still continues to do the same thing,i think you better leve him becaue you will face lot more troubles rgarding this in the future once you get married. I bet you 100% you will not be able to bear it that time.so thing using your brain and not your heart.

Answer 8

umm...'it was the booze talking' has been a well used excuse for many years. Just because you have been drinking though, does not mean you can't remember or control what you do or say. Sounds to me like your friend has unresolved issues with his ex. Does she feel the same way? If yes, you have a problem, if no..then he has the problem. Tell him until the issue is resolved then you will not be part of a triangle, nor will you allow yourself to be treated as 'second best choice.'

Answer 9

Move on! If he is talking to his ex and missing her, it's time for you to face REALITY!! A lot of times alcohol brings out your "true" feelings. Besides, why are you tolerating this drunken behavior, which can lead to other things. First alcohol, then drugs, then abuse! Why wait for the trip to take place! You don't have to deal with this dysfunction, unless you "choose" too. Trust me, don't make the choice. There are sooooo many other people in this universe, and a lot of good men worth having. Why tolerate something that is a waste of your time. Besides, he knows what he is doing and saying, and "observing" how you are allowing it!

Count your losses. Move on! Take pride in yourself and bless yourself with another boyfriend, who will tell YOU that he misses YOU!

Answer 10

i would blow him off, he wouldnt have said it if he hadnt thought about it at some point. it doesnt matter if he is drunk or not, he is still your boyfriend and it dont give him the right to say things like that. why was he with her in the first place, were you there or did you just hear about it. if you werent there then you dont know what the 2 of them may have done.

Answer 11

I've many times said that alcohol is no excuse. However, having said that, I have said and done things while drunk that I have regretted and not meant. Well......this answer doesn't really help you much at all, does it? I guess, the first question to you would be, how serious are you two? And has he ever said or done anything before to make you question his committment? One screw up, give him a chance. Repeatedly, well.....