If you have had an affair on your husband/wife, do you think that you can actually be in love with your lover but cannot leave your spouse for financial reasons....or would it just be infactuation? Has anyone here ever been in love with their lover but forced to remain married?
2006-08-11 03:13:37 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Jeffrey dear...actually....im not referring to a current situation. At one time I thought I loved someone else..but i couldnt leave my marriage. Just answer the question if you wanna answer it and get off the soapbox.
2006-08-11 03:19:56 · update #1
This is hard to formulate the right words. If you are not in love with your spouse (and I'm being generic, not referring to you specifically) then you should not remain married. If there are children involved..it is amazing how fast young minds pick up on the attitudes of the adults. They then learn that marriage is not about love, it is about money (or whatever reason keeps you together) They carry that into their own lives. So not only are your lives ruined..so are theirs eventually. The other person may be an infatuation certainly, but what is better, being happy or being in a loveless relationship? I know what I would pick...I already did BTW. (no, it wasn't an affair on my part) After realizing the love was gone (which meant it was never really there in the first place) I moved on, as scary as the thought was. Now..I really understand the true meaning of love..something I did not understand before.
2006-08-11 03:49:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Never make some one else pay for the mistakes you make! Affairs happen, but just imagine the tables being turned, and your spouse tells you . ."Sorry, I found some one better, c-ya". If your relationship is faltering, attempt to fix it or end it. THEN start a new life.
As for the girl who is the "Other" woman, may I suggest you find a man of your own, as your future with this man is not good. . .One, he cheats. Two, he says he is not leaving her because because he worries about the kids and financial problems? Well, if he truly cared about them, he would have never had an affair. . .so, although he "may" be telling you the truth, that alone should scare you away, as he is displaying a weak character and has proven to you he makes bad choices. Wake up and smell the cheating and the part you are playing in it, if you can't end it for you. . do like he says he is doing. . do it for his kids!
2006-08-11 08:15:16 · answer #2 · answered by zambranoray 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Anything and ALL things are possible; finding your peace, happiness, harmony within is possbile if you just believe. Marriage, affair, cheating, flirting, a child, employment doesn’t MAKE you a man or woman..... your BEING a woman or man make you a woman or man, being understanding/understood, being mature, and being responsible brings you in your existence of womanhood or manhood.
I'm not bias I face with the possibility my husband may have cheated, flirted, or an affair; I cannot determine at this point but I know his behavior pattern brought on doubt and discomfort to feel this way; however as I expressed to “I'm not concern about his childish issues I'm only concern about me at this point; keeping focus and remaining true until my change come 'for better or worse.... I will never leave him because of another woman I'm a woman and have played the games so p_s_y is no competition for me and it will not make me jump through no hoops or give hime more of whatever he’s missing, that’s on him to fulfill, I’m not making no excuse nor taking no blame nor putting together broken pieces but I will only leave him when he no longer meets the standard M(man) in marriage, that's leaving him for me .
Mature and responsible adults don't have time for child play we fully understand attraction and interaction is a part of life but not apart of our commitment.
2006-08-11 03:59:01 · answer #3 · answered by midavasha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In south of India, traditionally that's the norm 'yet' the boy's and women one figure each could be brother and sister (do no longer make faces!), I advise 'bypass-cousins'. yet when both their moms happen to be sisters or fathers happen to be brothers, they're 'immediately cousins' meaning brother and sister. contained in the latter case, marriage is a strict 'no! no!' traditionally bypass-cousin marriage as a count number of acceptable, is the practice between some quarter billion human beings, with the inhabitants similar to that throughout total of us of a. there is lot of romance, love-thoughts, literature etc woven round this relationship. 1/2 1000000000 North Indians may no longer even recognize that any such ingredient is there contained in the South! that is the Indian range, even Indians won't be able to fathom. besides the undeniable fact that the marriages happening for a minimum of two millennia has produced a options a lot less 'NUTs' and 'medically' deviants than among those who do not practice (pondering it a 'sin'). If clinical comments are best, it can advise 1/2 of South India could were decimated before! yet i encounter many more effective mentally retarded circumstances in communities who oppose 'bypass-cousin' marriages. i delivers you with an account of even more effective outstanding practice. A boy can marry his sister's daughter, as a count number of acceptable. that is the female can marry her maternal uncle. typically such romance blossoms at the same time as the boy and lady are interior an similar age bracket. this isn't something intense as in large households with 7, 8 or 9 little ones, the finest of one era are interior an similar age bracket with the subsequent era. The 'groom is his bride's own uncle-in-regulation as someone has commented. both the practices are literally not 'deviant' yet substantial-move phenomena, blessed with the help of all elders (they too did it). If in straightforward words you're both South Indians, your marriage can be a blessed one.
2016-11-24 20:03:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Staying with a spouse for financial reason is the same as being a whore in my book. Me and my girlfriend has had this dispute for over 10 years now. If the lover does not have the means to take care of you, then he's not what you need either. Selling yourself for the nice things money can buy isn't the way to go either. What ever happened to pride and principal? Is it fair, that hubby is paying for the merchandise and another man is getting the benifits of it?
2006-08-11 03:28:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I was married before, found the love of my life, but couldn't leave for financial reasons. So I had the husband that I didn't love but provided for me then I had the man that I did love. In the end I got divorced and now I'm with the man I love (and cheated with) Poor, but we're together.
2006-08-11 03:26:00 · answer #6 · answered by Illinoismom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It takes a long time to feel real love for a person. The early stuff is physical attraction. It is fully in the personality of a cheater to give their affection to a cuckold yet take money from the spouse. It just adds stealing to the lying.
2006-08-11 03:22:06 · answer #7 · answered by Flagger 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well.. first off, no one is ever 'forced' to remain married. You can always chose to leave. It may be easy or it may be difficult, but you can always leave. If you're in love with the lover then leave.. get a job.. work it out.. You might as well plan it now.. cause when the hubby finds out.. you're outta there.
2006-08-11 03:17:29 · answer #8 · answered by Imani 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes. You can be in love with your lover, still love your spouse, and want to leave, but can't afford to live on your own. It doesn't make you a horrible person, it makes you human.
2006-08-11 03:35:51 · answer #9 · answered by tear streaked angel 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was in that exact situation. I fell in love with a guy I met but was afraid to leave my then husband for fear that I wouldn't make it on my own. Eventually I left and now I'm with the guy I fell in love with back then
2006-08-11 03:20:24 · answer #10 · answered by purpleama456 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋