It is in reference to my own brother, but I have seen many persons do this as well. My brother thinks all black women and African women are ugly, he thinks white women are "okay", BUT he thinks exotic women from places like Malaysia and the Philipines are the only beautiful women in the world. He is in the Army, and he met and married a nice young lady from Micronesia. We are a black family, and we have went out of our way to make this young lady feel part of the family, but my brother is not winning any sympathy because he goes on and on about how "sistas" are so ugly and we are this, that and the third every chance he gets. It's really getting old, and I don't know how to deal with him anymore.
He was never like this until he came home from Guam 2 years ago and was on a mission to get this young lady papers so she could come to the US. My mother is upset about how he talks because he is disrespecting his family. How should we deal with him? I don't even think he really loves her.
2006-08-11 02:54:09 · 17 answers · asked by Goddess of Nuts PBUH 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
It sounds like your brother has resentment issue towards black females, maybe he was rejected or sees' himself reflected back to him in black females, I think this really has more to do about him, he doesnt like himself and feels by him being black himself is working against him in the looks department, and here in the states race and color still divide in ways, I guess when he went to another country he didnt get that type of feedback, and instead him knowing its just ignorance thats makes him think his likeness is ugly hes making all the black females pay for what he doesnt like about himself and the way america has defined the standard of beauty. I say tell him to shut the hell up because one day he will have black looking children and the woman who gave birth to him is a black female so what he says in anger towards black women he is also including his mother,sisters, and daughters he may end up having some day. He is ignorant and needs to be told that. Im finding that alot of "brothas" have become jealous and resentful towards black females, Ive actually heard a few black men say black women are more accepted and can get ahead more so than they can, and once we do we reject them.
2006-08-11 03:11:25 · answer #1 · answered by brite star 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him in a respectful manner that unless He changes his attitude quickly, that He is not welcome there any more. Realise, He has been brainwashed by the military, probably the Marines. In some cases, He might be right, as I have heard black women refer to themselves as b*tches, hoes, and the dreaded "N" word, surely not a thing I would tolerate from my own people, and I dont think it should be tolerated by yours, either, REGARDLESS of who is using them. Those words, no matter who says them, are derogitory, and demeaning, and surely cannot be improving the image of the blacks anywhere. The media doesnt help, because it promotes gangs as being cool, which they are NOT. And not all are gang members, or drug dealers, but, when you watch the movies, or tv, they are all portreyed as such. As a people, you should make your position on this matter known to your movie producers, and television directors, as you are all being stereotyped by this, and your children believe what they see on tv and in the movies. Sounds like your son has fallen for the media hype, along with so many other children in the United States. I do not watch such on tv, nor will I go to a movie that portreys any such stereotypes in it.
2006-08-11 10:56:56 · answer #2 · answered by Darqblade 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's very sad. At the end of the day a beautiful woman is a beautiful woman - doesn't matter where she's from or what colour skin she has. Obviously he has a bit of a chip on his shoulder or maybe he's been hurt b y black and white girls in the past and is dealing with it in this way. He just needs to grow up a little.
2006-08-11 10:36:19 · answer #3 · answered by agliotti 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough one.
I think you have to talk to him, do not argue. Just ask him why he thinks black women are ugly. Frankly, some of the best looking women are black. Take for example, Vanessa Williams, Jada Pinkett, Alicia Keys, Beyonce and a whole lot more.
Is he ashamed of himself?
If talking to him doesn't help, just ignore him when he start criticizing black women. It's his lost, not yours.
2006-08-11 10:07:25 · answer #4 · answered by etang 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
black women are not ugly at all. my girlfriend is black and she is very cute and pretty.
i mean, every race has some ugly some pretty, but your brother just needs to chill out. maybe he just thinks he's special now because he has an "exotic" chick.
sorry to tell you, but i think your brother must be kind of corny.
of all the black dudes i know, only the most corny ones don't like or date black chicks.
2006-08-11 10:03:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well,tell your brother that every human is originated from Adam and Adam is created by dirt.The only reason our skin colour is diferrent is because the climate in some place is diferrent.But anyway,I agree with your brother that women from Malaysia are the only beautiful women in the world because I'm a Malaysian.
2006-08-11 10:05:36 · answer #6 · answered by Green Lantern 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I think he's not very sure about his new wife, and the only way he can justify his decision (to himself) is to make other women and other men in the area's women be ugly in his mind...
I don't wish anything bad on your family, but I wont be surprised if his marriage doesn't last.
2006-08-11 10:02:13 · answer #7 · answered by hadez2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am suprised you brother is like that since he is in the Army and has traveled the world. Sounds to me like it is his problem, it is definetly not the families problem. I personally would distance myself from him, words will not change him. Silence is harder to deal with. I feel sorry for people like that, but it will come back to him some day.
2006-08-11 10:01:48 · answer #8 · answered by Just Another Guy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really gotta talk to your brother about it. I mean, it really dosn't matter a whole lot what someone looks like to love them. Honestly. Someone could be the 'ugliset' person youve ever seen, but, they could have a good heart. good luck with ur problem, okay?
2006-08-11 11:09:16 · answer #9 · answered by lizz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know where you are coming from I have a similar problem myself but my sis married a black guy and when she is with him she snubbed her noise at me and my family.I told her how I felt she didn't like it and didn't come around for awhile but know we talk and she does not have her nose in the air.
2006-08-11 10:05:16 · answer #10 · answered by hotcandysmacker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋