One night I picked up husm=band drunk at party on same night sister came over after a fight with hubby and got drunkl. The next moring my husband got up and went in my room my sister was in thought she was sleeping or passed out I don't know? He pulled up her shirt and unzipped her pants when she woke up and sat up he said nothing got up and took a shower for work? Mysister did not tell me for months later because she said ( I ssemed so happy and really had no where to go if I was not.) taht is why she said nothing. When I confronted husband he said he was drunk and dont remember. Does this mean he is a rappist? Is this something men do? I am lost....
2006-08-11 02:53:27 · 11 answers · asked by glennakay2004 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She was passed out when he pulled up her shirt and unzipped pant's then she woke up. My sister said after wakeing up she sat up and he left room. I had a bad feeling about a night we stayed over my husbands brother house so I called my sister in law and asked her about the night we stayed over and he woke up with his brothers shorts on. She finally admitted that after I had fell asleep and her husband (brother in law to me) that my husband and her were up drinking and talking.That my husband asked her to show him her boobs and she said no but had admitted to him if he was not her jusbands brother that she would have sex with him. She got up went in bathroom and he walked in on her and shut door behind him. She said she had to hit him to get him out from in front of the door. We had found out rihgt before this incident that my brother in law and sister in law were swinger's . We are not. my husband has only done this 2 times always while drinking and (sorry sis) Always sluty girls
2006-08-11 02:54:31 · update #1
I have stayed becuse he quit drinking and we have 4 children 3 boys and one girl. I have no family & freinds.
2006-08-11 04:02:31 · update #2
Also both of the girls do exzagerrate quit a bit . But I will not allow anything tohappen to my daughter.If anyone is a sychologist please answer and tell me opinion.
2006-08-11 04:04:38 · update #3
There are no good excuses, EVER, for violating someone sexually.
Your husband has a serious problem and needs quality professional help or it will never get any better. If he refuses to seek help you have a decision to make. Will you stay with him, knowing that he *will* (no question there, he won't stop on his own) violate another woman someday who may not be nearly as "understanding" as his previous victims have been? Or will you refuse to enable him and leave?
I was married to a closet sexual predator and didn't leave him because it "didn't seem like a big deal". Then he molested our daughter and I tossed him out (and the law sent him to jail on top of it). I know it's hard, but it's a psychological disorder and it will never go away unless it is confronted and he decides to change his thoughts about women and sexuality.
NOBODY in their right mind thinks it's OK to approach a sleeping woman and remove their clothing, drunk or not.
I wish you strength, I know you're going to need it.
2006-08-11 03:11:22 · answer #1 · answered by Kya Rose 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its an excuse and a new problem.
Initially you had problem A: husband sexually harassing other women.
That was sort of replaced with problem B: husband has drinking problem and behaves very inappropriately when drunk.
This is not something all or most men do, but I remember a guy who worked somewhere my wife used to (alcoholic) who got drunk at a company party and managed to pin and dry hump two female staff members before they eventually tied him to a chair and then sent him home in a cab. Really nice guy when sober. He's since quit drinking.
Since one of the targets was your sister, I think you're in luck, because it gives an opportunity to find out if he's ever acted inappropriately sober. If not, and if he's genuinely given up drinking, I'd be more optimistic then I would otherwise.
Good luck
2006-08-11 11:30:29 · answer #2 · answered by kheserthorpe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not a good excuse. As a recovering drunk 20+ years, your husband's behavior is typical but should not excuse him.
Does he drink often? if behavior is out of character for him then the boozes does a lot of the talking. it's him not understanding boundaries when drinking.
You ought to find a local AA club and pickup the pamphlet 44 Questions
Sounds like a pretty disfunctional family unit, if drinking is common denial is part of the problem. I'd recommend you check out a local Alanon group and talk to some of the women there.. I'd say that while think seem fine on the surface to the outside world, denial is killing things.
2006-08-11 10:28:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what he did was wrong in all respects. normal men do not do things like that. think about it have you ever gotten drunk and molested someone that was asleeep. the fact that your sister did not scream her head off is just as odd. if i were you i would not let this pass by without a word or an assumtion that his drinking was the cause. alcohol doesn't make people do things like that. his blackout theory . is just a cover. i would run for the hills girl, before he gets himself into worse trouble. and he will if you let this behaviour slide by with little said. and if your sister isnt hating his guts and hollering at the top of her lungs about it, she prolly liked it. watch out for her too
2006-08-11 10:03:09 · answer #4 · answered by Debbapoo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being drunk is NEVER an excuse. But we accepct it all too often.
That is NOT your husband's problem. He is a preditor. The fact that he corner's these women or tries taking advantage of them is WRONG. He hasn't tried raping....yet. What about young girls where he would have more control over them? Suggest he get help, or unload him. He's trouble.
2006-08-11 10:14:46 · answer #5 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
being drink is never excuse, actually i personally know what you are going thru with a husband like this. My husband best friend always tries to take of advantage when we are all out and having a good time.It has gotten to the point where even his own wifes mother came out and said that he try to pass the moves on her and her little sister, I mean he is married to beautiful women yet he wants his cake and eat it to, our group of frinds have all been friend since grade school. I have never told my husband about him passing comments and there have been times we all have been hanging out together and i walk inside for another drink or something or to chekc the kids and he has followed behind me, has ask me to kiss him, tries to slap my ***, i mean this has been going for years thats for sure. and well i bvelieve that is the wife didnt beilvee her mother then they would just consider me a trouble maker if i say anything, and sometimes i almost depise this man becuase he puts me in the most awarked postions sometimes, i mean he has stayed over before becuase his wif was ready to go home and he wasnt so he slept over, and yes he has come into my room, walked in the bathroom I was naked, and now he always tell me hoe pretty i am and that we should have dated in school, my husband would freak if i told him but at the same time i have caught my husband flirting with girls that are my frinds right under my nose so really i dont he would believe me becusae that is his best friend, and everyone thinks that this guy walks on water, but only if they knew that he had most of the women in our group and we all know but his wife does not, and i know that for sure, i mean what does it take for a man to faithful to his wife, but most of all to be faithful to your self and BEST FRIEND, i know right now if i called him he would come over and have sex with me becusae that is how he is the more for him, but you know what i will never stoop that low, i would rather pick up a total stranger in bar then to give myself to him. Anyways your husband sounds just like my friend and i can tell you the girld that told may be sluty and **** but things may have gone a little bit further then they will ever tell you, Watch him like a hawk evern though you shouldnt have to, maybe he wants to be swinger to, but that lifestyle is not healty either, well if you wanna chat and know more feel free to contact me at cqueen742003@yahoo.com, Trust it me it onlys get worse, why have you stayed with him, if you know about this things, try to thinkk of the things that you dont know, and that only will kill you, good luck
2006-08-11 10:11:34 · answer #6 · answered by prettygirl new orleans 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not a good enough excuse especially when he continues to do this. he has a drinking problem obviously. you need to find a real man b/c im sorry but he isn't. he is going to continue to behave like this and blame it on the alcohol. its up to you honey, im sorry b/c i know you don't deserve it!
2006-08-11 10:08:41 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No being drunk is no excuse. If you can't handle drinking - then you don't need to be drinking. There must be other issues that need to be addressed in your relationship!
2006-08-11 10:00:39 · answer #8 · answered by therandman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are jerks. You need better. It is no excuse.
2006-08-11 10:08:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, this all sounds so fuking crazy I can't even begin to answer this....................YOU ALL SOUND NUTS TO ME!!!!!!
2006-08-11 10:46:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋