How well do you know your spouce?

Question

I thought I knew my spouce untill we got married then his true colors started showing through. Who has this problem and what do you do about it?

Answer 1

Well had that happen to me had a guy I was with for 6 years and then we got married 2 years after we got married he was living a totally second life and every since he had hurt me that bad I have a very hard time trying to trust people But I always say this is my favorite answer and the more you think about it the more it's true YOU CAN NEVER KNOW ANYBODY YOU CAN ONLY THINK YOU CAN

Answer 2

I have known this to happen all too often. Even among couples who have lived together before they wed.

Sometimes it's gradual and we adjust as we go. But when it is sudden or what you suspected becomes apparent it can be quite a blow.

My roommate had met the guy from her hometown. Was a real good guy, kind. They marriage about a year after graduation. When I saw D again, she had a beautiful 9 month old little girl. She told me R had started beating her shortly after their marriage and up until she was 8 months pregnant. He was concerned she'd lose the baby. After the birth, he resumed. Hmmmm, he could actually control this??? I told her to get out, which she did. Has raised that little girl as a single parent. Don't know if either have ever seen R. But he doesn't deserve it.

I hope what you're facing isn't this drastic. You have to decide whether it's something you want to or can live with. If not.........

Answer 3

guess i am the first guy to answer this, and i feel the same way about my wife. She has changed alot since we got married. Feels like a lack of love, and not caring about making things works. That is what marriage is all about, the easy part os over when you get married. THe true test is working with each other as you continue to grow and learn who the other person is, or will become becasue of the help you give in molding this new creation called a spouse.

Answer 4

if you love him, which you must have at one time. so love is unconditional and we all make mistakes, no one is perfect. plus marriage is work. the purpose for the work is to bring you closer and stronger. When you are first married most everyone is putting their best foot forward. then you get comfortable and then as you say, true colors come out, at that point it is up to you whether you can live with those colors or not. I don't think judge one over there colors is very good, because i know i won't want to be judged. having acceptance for who they are.
Good luck I hope I helped.

Answer 5

I know my husband so well that I can finish his sentences.. but in reality.. you're never going to fully know the person. You'll always be finding things out about them. If they don't tell you something, or lie.. then obviously you're not going to know "them" but you will know that they're liars and they have something to hide. People are very adept at hiding their true colors.. women do it, men do it. Sometimes you find out.

If he's not the man you thought he was, then leave.. if you can live with the person that he IS.. then get over the differences and realize that you're going to spend some time re-learning your spouse.

Answer 6

After 10 years of wedded bliss..we never truly, fully know our spouse. Humans grow until they die, and that means emotionally as well as physically. As new things are learned, personality adapts. So..the question is..what are the 'true colours' your spouse is showing? If they include any form of physical or mental abuse..then you get the hell out of there. Don't wait around hoping he will change, you'll wind up getting hurt much more than in your heart. The same applies if it's the woman who shows 'true colours' BTW.

Answer 7

I have this problem too. He was all nice until we got married. Then the emotional abuse began. All I can say is get out while you still can before you are in too deep like I am. Now we have a kid and I feel trapped because our daughter loves him so much and I dont want to take that away.

Answer 8

Everyone tries to be on their "best" behavior when dating. They can go home later and be themselves. When you are married you don't get that free time.

The only way to deal with this and keep your marriage together is to talk about it. If that doesn't work you need to ask yourself, "Is this really worth getting upset?" Or ask yourself, "Is this worth a divorce?" If the answer is "no" then find something to distract your attention from the irritating behavior.

Answer 9

Doesn't everyone? People show their true colors after the honeymoon is over. You knew the "dating" man now you are finding the married man. I wish you luck!!

Answer 10

of course it extremely is halal. as long as that they had appropriate conversations then that they had a suitable to talk. you do no longer understand something approximately all and sundry's family members till you get to understand them and meet them. i understand various muslims which is composed of myself who don't have a muslim family members to seek for a husband for them. we could take it into our very own palms. many everybody is doing it this form as they could communicate without assembly for a whilst. i think of it extremely is greater helpful than attempting to make a variety in elementary terms on a persons' seems or some issues you recognize approximately them. of course you on no account understand if somebody is being elementary , yet that is going interior the actual life too. in the event that they made a vow to Allah swt in marriage than that's all that concerns. it would not rely precisely how hi met. it extremely is on the subject of the halal ceremony. till then adult males and females are no longer something to a minimum of one yet another besides. *** I nonetheless have not heard all and sundry supply actual evidence as to the way it may be haram. human beings fake promote each and each of the time on line or no longer. i understand a women who's husband ended up being an alcoholic and his family members hid it in the previous marriage. She even had assessments carried out on him and his family members . everybody lied. so which you notice it extremely is a threat everywhere now a days.