My friends are single with no boyfriend or baby and they keep asking me to go out them.How do you deal with it.
2006-08-11 02:40:38 · 16 answers · asked by elainefromlondon 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
It's not always a nice but slowly, your friends will change. Either the ones you have now will have babies are you will become with friends with other people who have children. Having kids is a defining quality. You will find that people without kids have a hard time relating to people who do. Once you have a baby, going out is just not important or desirable on a regular basis. Let them know that your priorities have shifted. On rare occasions, get a sitter. But, I wouldn't make it a regular habit. Babies need their moms nearby- especially if you are nursing.
2006-08-11 02:45:31 · answer #1 · answered by ericaandgirls 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, I have been here before. I was 19 when I had my first child and 22 when I had my second. I was married at 22 as well. So I had a whole different set of priorities than most of my friends. What you have to do is be honest with your friends. Tell them that your child is now your first priority and you don't have the time to do a lot of the stuff you did before you became a parent. That is how it goes. Tell them that you still want to spend time with them but it would have to be doing something that you can bring your child along on like going out to eat, going to the mall, or renting a movie and watching it at home. Life doesn't end after you become a parent but it changes forever unless you are going to be a deadbeat and you don't sound like one. If they are truly your friends, they will adapt and try to accomodate your new role in life. If they gripe and try to make you feel guilty or ashamed, they aren't your friends and don't deserve a second thought. Take care of that baby and God bless! When your child gets older, you can still go out with friends every now and then. It just takes time. Be patient and keep your head on straight.
2006-08-11 09:48:17 · answer #2 · answered by intentionalmasterpiece 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you ahve an understanding husband then you can still schedule outings while he watches the baby. If you are breast feeding then just pump it up and leave some bottles behind for the little tyke and enjoy yourself and have a nite out. I have a 3 year old and a new born as of tuesday and I still intend to watch the kids and let my wife enjoy the night out once in a while with her friends. I do this because i know she needs a break from home just like I will need one on occassion. Just because you have kids doesnt mean you are dead. Everyone needs time alone on occassion or you end up on a water tower somewhere. Try to be understanding of each other and the need to have some time to yourself and hey you can always hire a babysitter and both of you go out. Trust me its worth the 20 or 30 bucks just to enjoy a movie as adults or to spend time with other adults cause barney will drive ya nuts
2006-08-11 09:48:28 · answer #3 · answered by hardirish 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I sit back and realize that now that I'm a parent, my priorities have changed, and it's more important for me to stay home with my child. There will be plenty of nights for you to go out with your friends when your kids get older. This isn't to say you should NEVER go out now...once a month (to keep your sanity!) is fine.
My sister in law tried for three years and FINALLY got pregnant. Starting from birth, pretty much, she went out every weekend. I feel so sory for her poor son, I don't know what to do. She and her husband work full time jobs, and really only see him for a few hhours in the evenings during the week. Every weekend it's the same...Saturday with her mom, Sunday with his mom. Sometimes they go out partying and drinking overnight. I'd like to know why, after trying so hard to have a child, she insists on going out partying and drinking every weekend. And she's not young, either...she's 30 and her husband is 34. They should know better.
2006-08-11 10:22:47 · answer #4 · answered by brevejunkie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think most of your time needs to be spent home with baby and they will just have to understand. If they are truly your friends, they will understand and continue to be your friend.
I can tell you from experience though, it will be good for you to get out from time to time. Your mental health will go downhill quickly if you do not have a release from time to time. See if daddy, or grandma, or one of your friends, or a great sitter you trust and know well can handle the duty for an evening. It will do your baby and you some good.
2006-08-11 09:50:28 · answer #5 · answered by Ron B. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not so much coping...you try to explain to them that your priorities have changed noe. You have a baby to look after, and can't go out. How bout inviting them over to your house...hang out play with the baby or watch a movie. They'll understand after a while
2006-08-11 11:23:20 · answer #6 · answered by mommy_2_liam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SOOOO hard, friends w/out children do not understand typically what its like to have children. Mine did not either! unfortunately its been a year since i had my baby and we've kinda lost touch on a regular basis.
do whats right for your child, and that's having his/her mommy home at nights! Your friends will have to adjust or you may loose touch but that's their fault for not being more accommodating to your new life!
you will find new friends with children as yours gets older, i have and they are wonderful about being accomodating!
ohh and i donot htink you have to stay home everynight, going out once in awhile will keep you healthy and will help to reduce stress BUT all the time is a different thing!
2006-08-11 09:50:01 · answer #7 · answered by tara t 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately...your life is changed forever. Your true friends will understand and spend time with you weather or not you can party. Some of them may babysit so you can have a night out. You are going to find yourself naturally gravitating toward others like you.
When its not comvient to go out, just say no thank you and let it go at that.
2006-08-11 09:47:56 · answer #8 · answered by groomingdiva_pgh 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By saying "Yeah...sure...which one of you will watch the baby tonight?" If they say "Get a sitter" ask them who'll pay for the service.
Honestly....your friends nitwits or something? They apparently haven't a clue as to the responsibilities of motherhood whereas you apparently do.
Stay home with the baby. That's the smart thing to do.
2006-08-11 09:45:21 · answer #9 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just talk to them and remind them that you now have a baby and that is alot of responsibility, if they truly are your friends, they will understand and may even decide to visit you at home and hang out with you and your baby instead.
2006-08-11 09:59:39 · answer #10 · answered by daisy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋