ok, so she has been working the total opposite hours i work, so when she come home im sleep, when i wake up she sleep. i felt i needed attention, so i called my ex one day. we were just talking, im telling her how much i love my gf blah blah. well that turned into more of an intimate convo. and she saw it. now its like she doesnt trust me at alll now. i didnt di anything other then talk. i had the chance to go there with her, but i didnt. so what can i say to prove it was just all talk???????
2006-08-11 01:47:26 · 14 answers · asked by lez_fem69 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I have cut her off. 2 weeks ago. But she wont believe that. bcuz she doesnt trust anything i say now. I promise i cut her off. The way we got together, i never gotten rid of my feelings for my ex. They were just replaced with the love i have for my current "gf".
2006-08-11 02:15:33 · update #1
Then you have a bigger problem that you realize, and your girl probably does have good cause not to trust you.
How can you say that you never got over the ex, but just "replaced" those feelings with a new love? Girl, that's cold. You owed it to yourself and your current gf to get over the ex before you went into any kind of new relationship.
And the fact that the conversation turned intimate isn't a good sign, either. It does show that you could go there with the ex again, and had you not gotten caught....you probably would.
This is why I always stress that honesty is absolutely the best policy. I'd rather hear an ugly truth than a pretty lie any day. I always want to know where I stand with the person that I am with. If you knew you still had feelings for the ex, you should have said something.
Which leads me to my next point. Don't make the excuse that you needed attention. My girl and I have gone long stretches of being on the opposite shift. We always found ways to spend time together...whether I stayed up in the morning to have breakfast and talk, or she came to my work on lunches to spend time. We left notes and when we did have days off together, they were precious and not to be wasted. You can always find a way to "get attention" from your girl. Did you sit down and tell her that you were feeling neglected, and could you come up with some ways to spend time together? No. You simply logged on line and started talking to the ex about it. Why? Was it easier than making time to talk to your girl?
I don't want to be mean, but in any relationship, there is never any room for excuses. And you're making plenty of them. All you can do now is try and re-build the trust that your girl used to have in you. BUT if you still have feelings for the ex, you need to either get over them, or let your girl go and find someone else who will give their WHOLE heart to her.
2006-08-11 02:39:40 · answer #1 · answered by Autumn BrighTree 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk the talk then walk the walk. Your GF has reason not to trust you. You are frustrated, lonely in a relationship and you are contacting old flames. How would you feel if your GF was talking to he old BF? hmmm??
Do you trust you? Did you intend that conversation to get more intimate than; Hi, how are you? Do you want attention regardless of who it comes from? Are you ready to make the sacrifices it takes to earn your GF's trust?
I might sound critical but I'll give you points for honesty on the net anyway. Be good and it will come back to you.
2006-08-11 02:02:00 · answer #2 · answered by fathermartin121 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girlfriend did you get "caught up"? Ha Ha. Let me tell you, if you can't have that conversation that you had with your ex in front of your current girlfriend then the conversation was inappropriate and if I was your girlfriend I'd be mad as all hell. Hell have no fury like a woman's scorn.... You'd be mad if it happened to you.
2006-08-11 09:24:59 · answer #3 · answered by Fairy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You never should have called your ex in the first place. You knew what you wanted. She should be angry with you. But you have told her and now the rest is up to her. You said your piece and now she has to either leave or deal with it
2006-08-11 01:51:55 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i agree with them both but the only 3 people who knows what you said to your ex are the 3 of you so it is hard for us to give advice on how to explain things to her sorry wish i could help out more
2006-08-11 01:54:30 · answer #5 · answered by crazzykid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are really into this new chick and she isn't comfortable with you talking to your ex, you have to cut it off. How would you like it if the roles were reversed? ~~~
2006-08-11 01:51:56 · answer #6 · answered by AMY 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Decide which one you want and then cut the other off.
2006-08-11 02:09:20 · answer #7 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she should leave you. You went behind her back and if you really did love her you wouldn't have done that.
2006-08-11 08:52:01 · answer #8 · answered by Scully 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch!!
2006-08-11 02:03:37 · answer #9 · answered by Levi Cristopher . 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u need to think long and hard bout who u want to be with...
2006-08-11 04:18:13 · answer #10 · answered by jo-jo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋