Okay to start of with I am 18 now, I met all my current friends when I was 12. Jason told all of us he was gay 2 years ago, and they abandoned, I followed them even when they continued to insult and pick on him. Shortly after that I started cutting again, something he had helped me stop once...
Anyways, back in December I met him in the wooded area around town, I was feeling really depressed and had gone there to be alone and to cut. He found me there before, and we started talking, now we are friends again, but my other friends do not know and would hate me if I told them.
I do not want to lose my friends, and I am really scared they will hurt me! But still I would rather die than to lose Jason as my friend again... I love him too much to... I do not know what to do! I am scared for my life if I tell my other friends that Jason and I are friends again...
2006-08-11 01:13:57 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Turn to the light, my child. Freedom is in the light, where you will find the way to eternal peace! or do you want to BURN IN HELL FOR ETERNITY.
2006-08-11 01:22:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 12⤋
Lesson on friendship and life:
Very few people have the same set of friends from childhood until death. Very few people have the same set of friends at the age of 25 as they did when they were 16.
Many older people, when looking back at their lives thus far, often break up their lives into sections identified by the group of friends they had in that time period.
Any group of people who would treat you the way you fear they will treat you
You are 18 now. It is time for your next group of friends. It is normal to take one or two friends through several of those periods of your life. It is now time for YOU TO CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS, instead of being worried about acceptance by current friends. Look around you as you head to college. Find the people you want to be associated with. Don't associate with people who behave in ways that you don't like.
The world is a big and wonderful place and you are at a wonderful time in your life for exploring all the wonderful different types of people. Embrace the variety. Enjoy the individuality. You will never find that with that little group of bigots you have been hanging around with for the last 6 years.
Stop cutting. It doesn't solve anything. It complicates everything and every relationship. You are at the begining of a wonderful journey. Stop looking for the worst, expecting the worst, and bringing about the worst. There is so much to ENJOY there isn't time for the meloncholy and self destructive. You are an important part of many people's future. Get out there and embrace the JOY of finding out who those people are.
2006-08-11 02:18:27 · answer #2 · answered by Dustin Lochart 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First off - what exactly do you mean by "cutting" or "to cut"? A type of Drug? Sex? Cutting school?
Are you and Jason lovers or is it that you are straight and have a gay friend? From your post it seems like you mean that the two of you are lovers.
Are you still at home? Would you be kicked out if you came out?
If you live in a homophobic house then hold off telling anyone. Just talk to Jason and say look I value your friendship more than you can ever imagine, but if my family finds out about me I'll be living on the street. Come out when you can support yourself and pay your own bills.
If your folks would accept you and you are comfortable with it - come out. Allow your self time and education to be informed. Read some gay magazines, see gay movie (not porn, mainstream stuff), visit a gay lesbian community center, go to a gay book store and read up on gay issues and go to some gay internet sites and learn about gay issues.
If your friends are your friends they will stay with you. If they will cut you off then they are not your friends. I'm not saying you have to come out immediately to them. Also I'm not saying that you have to come out to acquaintences and everyone at school or who you work with. But the important people in your life should know about you. After a certain number of years it is psychologicly hard to live a double life. It will be easier for you if people know so that you don't have to lie anymore.
2006-08-11 02:23:15 · answer #3 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to stay friends with the real friend you have and that is Jason. You do not need these other people in your life, if they are smart they will realize you are a good person and accept the fact that you want to stay Jason's friend, if they don't you or Jason do not need them. Be strong and independent, hold out for what you believe, NOT what others want you to believe. It could be tough, especially if you are afraid of them, do not put yourself in situations where you are alone with them. true friendships last a lifetime. When I came out everyone of my so-called friends thru me to the curb, I survived, Jason is lucky to call you a friend. QUIT CUTTING!! Been there done that, PLEASE do not do that anymore, life will get better, you seem to be a very down to earth guy, you have better sense than to do that, Take care
2006-08-11 01:42:36 · answer #4 · answered by Finally home 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Well not to be mean to you but you seam sort of shallow. You say you love Jason! You need to define "love" in this question. You are 18, this is what I would expect fro a 12 year old. You are old enough to vote, go in the military and maybe it is time to stand up for yourself. These are friends that you do not need in your life.
2006-08-11 03:38:20 · answer #5 · answered by Mark F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alex, I agree with Levi....
True friends would never harm you, no matter what your ideals are on human sexuality. If Jason felt abandoned by you earlier and has accepted you back into his life again, He is a man capable of forgiveness and love, and is worthy of great friendships. His friendship, especially if he helps you deal with your own emotional issues, seems to be real, genuine and true.
Don't let a handful of "pretenders" come between one TRUE friendship. It's better to have only one real one than 15 fake ones.
Now, I emplore you to seek counselling with a therapist, and to possibly get on anti-depressant medication.....You are having a tough time dealing with age-appropriate social issues. A therapist can help you regain the control of your emotions that you seem to have misplaced... Cutting is what I'm concerned about here...I know it's a way to express your pain and to have some type of control over it...I understand, really, I do.........You CAN be happy and fulfilled, BUT, you need a little guidance to help you get there. When we are depressed, we only tend to dwell on the things in life that aren't going right and we lose sight of what is actually going good. If your friendship with Jason feels emotionally like a good thing, then you need to feel the freedom to be happy with that, instead of being fearful. You need to look deep within yourself and see the good in you...it is a wonderful aspect of your nature to be accepting and non-judgmental of others...try to enjoy that part of you! You don't need drama and fear in your life. Love your true friends for who they are and how sincere they are with you, and always return that love and respect. Those friends (even if there is only 1 of them) will help to fulfill and enrich your life, which will help you heal. Please ask for help, Tell Jason how you hurt because you feel like you let him down, and tell him that you appreciat how he helped you get through tough times before. Tell him that you value his friendship and won't turn your back on him again..and keep that promise. Now, ask him for his help and support again. I really don't think he'll let you down. And ALWAYS be there for him also. The right kinds of support along with some therapy, and you will soon find what you thought you had lost forever.
Good luck to you...and btw.....even a stranger cares about you!
2006-08-11 02:00:12 · answer #6 · answered by FrEaKoNaLeAsH 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
To thy own self be true ! you have to stand up for what you believe in and for your real friend and I think you know who that is . The friends that would turn from you if you have a gay friend are not your friends . They are same type of people that would abandon you if you married a girl that was not of their liking or if you were in a car wreck and were paralyzed . True friends are supportive , loyal , honest with you , and stand by you no matter what . They are not judgmental , lie to you in order to keep you where they want you to be , judgmental and critical of your choices , and stand by you only when it is convenient for them . you need a new bunch of friends . Keep Jason and throw the others out with the trash !
2006-08-11 02:04:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Being 18, I understand the conflict, but the sooner you start living your life for you, not others, the better. It's only going to help you in the future. Besides, seems like Jason needs your help more than your other friends need you.
2006-08-11 01:23:16 · answer #8 · answered by buldawg 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Look basically b frends with those who would love u even if ur gay (im not saying u r but u find out who r ur REAL frends wen u say u gay). So jst b frends wit Jason. If u choose da others dats ur choice, but watch dey will drop u as soon as dey can. Choose wisely bcause its ur life. An if dey wanna beat u up, **** dem up (sorry im in da mood 2 **** up sum1 bcause of other q) dont let dem tuch u bcause u r a special person
2006-08-11 03:06:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
friend are people who accept how you really are.
you still have another friend or other people who will accept you.
i think you have 3 choice;
1. you stay being friend with your peer group and leave your other friend
2. you chose your gay friend and abonden or your peer group will hurt you
3. you say what you want, to all your friend. if they don't accept what you want or their gonna hurt you, honey that it's not what you call as a friend.
there are many people who will make friend with you. now it's up to you what you gonna choice and what you want to do. life it's fun and simple, so live your life with what you think is best for you and all people around you. but remember you can be selfish as long you don't hurt anyone else.
i hope you will find your way. good luck hon
2006-08-11 02:17:37 · answer #10 · answered by catlovers 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
These people are not your friends. Friends don't push each other to the point of self-mutilation. Hang out with Jason, and if they don't want to be a good friend to you because you're friends with him, then so be it. Their not worth your time. You deserve better friends than them.
2006-08-11 04:40:03 · answer #11 · answered by carora13 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋