I just found out that for the past 2-5 years my fiance has been having sexually explict conversations through emails with a coworker of his. He tells me it was just a "joke" and there was no meaning/intention behind any of it. It was all a on going "joke" for him to get a "laugh" and forget about his boring job for a moment. I still do not belive he is telling me the truth. The conversations that they were having, normal people in relationships do not have those with coworkers, correct? We must or I must be lacking something somewhere for him to do this. I dont think this was right the least bit. He feels I need to just move on and forget about it because why would he throw away 10 years with me over some email? He doesnt see my pain my confusion and I feel that my relationship really isnt the same anymore. I look at him differently now than i did just 5 days ago. I never would have thought of him to do this (even if i didnt find out). Am I just supposed to move on?
2006-08-11 01:08:11 · 14 answers · asked by dianna b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
The fact that he just tells you to move on and forget about it, without even acknowledging the fact that it upsets you is wrong. Forget about the conversations and emails, which by the way indicate that something might be going on behind your back if he's writing and talking like the two of them are in a relationship. Even if they haven't done anything, the implication is there, and even in a court of law, far outside of a loving relationship, intent of an act is just as bad as the act itself.
I'm deeply sorry for what's happened between you and the BF, but it looks like if he's not sorry, this is going to happen again. You make the call, I'm just telling you what I see from your question.
2006-08-11 01:14:35 · answer #1 · answered by illustrat_ed_designs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is definitely cheating on you. I had a similar situation. Always trust your gut feeling, most of the time it is true. I had a gut feeling that he was cheating on me but never believed it and finally found out months later that my gut was right on (I found emails - sexually explicit ones to - same as you). Leave him - it is not a joke, he is cheating. And anyway why would you want to be with someone who talks about sex in an explicit way with another woman? He does not respect you and if he doesn't respect you he doesn't love you.
2006-08-11 01:13:34 · answer #2 · answered by SxyPR 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you email her and express to her how you feel.If he gets mad,then I would say he's cheating.What woman wouldn't understand that you don't appreciate that kind of talk with your man.That is the rudest beatch to do that.The only joke is him expecting you to be so gullible to believe an excuse like that "a joke"?You see him different because your instinct is telling you he's betrayed you.Why are y'all not married yet.If its because of him maybe you now know why.Good luck.Keep your head up.And for your sake,email the trouble makin beach and stand up for you and yours at least that will throw a wrench in the project.
2006-08-11 03:37:22 · answer #3 · answered by sandy v 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it´s not very easy to just move on....why in the world cannot MEN, yes most of the time men,(or as my husband would say, women do those things too), be honest from the beginning, if it´s nothing to him, y don´t u go ahead doing something similar?! I know it won´t put anything right, but I generally think that if it would happen to them they wouldn´t be as quick to judge...I honestly don´t know, sometimes I don´t understand people´s kind of "fun" or whatever it is...
2006-08-11 04:29:02 · answer #4 · answered by SWE-girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Place four 1000 watt speakers next to his computer and the next time when he types these kind of emails, blast the song 'THE GREAT PRETENDER' into his ears.
2006-08-11 01:23:51 · answer #5 · answered by Phantom of the Opera 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read some tips on this site on how to catch a cheating lover
2006-08-11 01:11:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may love you but he definitely has the propensity to cheat. Some men are just like that.
2006-08-11 01:20:50 · answer #7 · answered by Add Man 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
noone knows exept for God. Don't judge your fiance if you don't know. You need to talk to his co-woker and Him and find out what Has really been going on and if is a "joke" or not.
2006-08-11 01:14:03 · answer #8 · answered by Sarah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
youre having a communication break down. its not to late to start your own explicit conversations. and get physical. he is probably bored . you have to make things interesting . be creative. don't give up
2006-08-11 01:14:08 · answer #9 · answered by sifustu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he might be but don't jump to conclusions,does he have "dirty talk"with you maybe before sex commences or during foreplay?..maybe you need to spice up you're relationship.give him a chance I'm sure he didn't engage in any sexual intercourse with any 1 other than you..
2006-08-11 01:19:46 · answer #10 · answered by slash 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋