ive got depression, but my personal poblems re making me worse....?

Question

ive been sffering with depresion for over a yr and have been on the sick for 6months, seeing a counselor for 3 but hasnt helped. i thought being off would help me buti ts made me worse, and my personal situations are brining me further down.. discovered i am a lesbian, fell in love witha girl who for the last few months thinngs have been very rocky with.. spposed to be together now but never see her, only when it uits her i think, shes not 'out'. my nan died last week and had funeral yesterday, gf wasnt there for me as much as she could have been.. cant stand living at home, dont get on with my parents and i dont have any friends nd im realy shy to make any.. also work have now given me half pay so im getting into money troubles :o( i dont know what to do.. i have this really bad energy around me all the time and i feel exhausted all the time, im always crying, i justdont know what to do to help myself :o(

yes i am a girl sun..

Answer 1

Depression is a chemical thing, it's not mental. Your brain has too much serotonin (sp?) and you have to get medication to control it.
Stick through it, it could take even up to 6 monthes (or 1 month) or more of VERY crazy mood swings and mental agony until you can find a correct dosage and medication.
Stick through it, it can be fixed.

Answer 2

I could have written this question a few years ago, it reads like my life story as it was back then. I know what you're feeling and know it's frustrating not knowing how to get well again.

One councillor asked me, "If I could remove all the things from my life that made me depressed, would I be any happier?"

If your answer is YES, then you know what to do – remove it.

If your answer is NO, then you need to tackle the issue(s) head on. For example, if you're not getting any love from your gf then dump her, find someone else. You don't really love someone that upsets you so regular, you (mistakenly) think you do. Get rid, being lonely is far better than being depressed because you aren't getting the love you deserve.

As for money problems, if you can't cope then goto the Citizens Advice and ask for help, that's what they're there for. If you have to declare yourself bankrupt then so be it - fcuk what anyone else thinks if you do they mean nothing to you if they ain’t gonna support you.

Not many people get on with their parents so don't let that get you down. Just be thankful they are still around, you'll miss them when they're gone.

Join the TA, a great place to meet people and have a laugh. Keeps you fit, see the world for free (well a small part of it anyway) you get paid too and you'll soon find out that you ain’t as shy as you think.

Let all of those tears out, never try to stop yourself from crying. Just let 'em flow. When we cry, we release a certain chemical into our brain, which makes us feel better.

To increase your energy levels you need to exercise, get a dog and go for long walks with it, go swimming, get on your bike or you could join the TA! The more energy you use the more is replaced by your body to fill the gap. OK you maybe knackered but it's physical tiredness as opposed to mental tiredness...there is a difference. Once your body energy rises then your metal strength will increase aswell.

Whatever you do, don't give up...you gotta keep going girl no matter what life throws at you. Easier said than done I know but you have to try all the time. DONT GIVE UP.
It's gonna take along time to recover from depression, fact, but it can be done, another fact.

Sorry to hear the passing of your Nan aswell. I'm sure she's looking down on you now and shouting her head off at you to "KEEP GOING GIRL, DON'T LET THE FCUKERS GRIND YOU DOWN!!!"

It's upto you now to give everything a fair crack of the whip. Don't go for one bike ride and say you ain’t gonna go again because you're too tired, or goto a TA session and leave after only one showing. Stick with it - and before long you'll see some progress and then when that happens do more of the same as it's making you feel happier.

Trying to answer such a deep and serious question like this via YA isn't the easiest way to communicate my thoughts on this so I hope you get the general idea of what I'm trying to suggest.

All the best, chin up and SMILE - you'll be amazed to know you can still raise one [a smile].

Answer 3

Go on a holiday and take a break from everything and everone.
Moving out into your own house/flat will give you space and you can customise it to suit your mood and help keep you cheerful and give you seomehitng to do.
Go and join a club that interestes you, be it a sport club, a dance club a card club, whatever your hobbies are, this is a great way to meet new like minded people.
If staying out of work is not making you feel better and is causing money problems perhaps go back or get a change of job as working 9-5 helps pass the day and gets you interacting with more people.

Answer 4

I think that you need to adress each issue seperately, starting with the loss of your nan. Grieve for her your own way and only when youre feeling better should you think about the next thing as I think your grief is probably clouding your mind a little.

Re your girlfriend, you really need to sit her down and explain how youre feeling, that you find her lack of support upsetting, etc. However, if she's not out then this could explain a few things.

Re the counselling not helping, perhaps you should try another one who may have a slightly different approach that suits you better. You could also try some treatments such as Aromatherapy, yoga or reiki to help relax you.

Good luck to you Babe, I hope everything works out xx

Answer 5

I am not suprised you are "down". That's a lot of problems to deal with on your own. I think that you need to sort things out and start to take control of your life. If you were more in control and felt that YOU were doing something about things you would feel a whole lot better. I was very shy and it is very, very difficult to be assertive but you need to do this for you.


Your are obviously grieving for your Nan at the moment and that will take time to get over. Your parents will also be grieving so try to understand that as well...Ask yourself whether or not you need to be in a relationship at the moment, because it might be better if you can be on your own for a while. Try to sort out the money problems...cut back or try to get another job. Trust me if you can dig deep to find that strength to sort this out you will have more confidence in the end. Take care.....Big Hugs.

Answer 6

First sorry to hear about your grandmother's death. If your counselor isn't working then maybe you need to seek another one who you "click" with personality wise. Get your antidepressant meds evaluated to ensure you are on the proper one and proper dosage.

Family may not agree with your lifestyle decision, but (most) will still love you no matter what. Until you get yourself back on track -- maybe having a gf is not a good time since you should be concentrating on yourself. How about just being friends with someone.

Get a medical check up to establish that there is nothing else going on with you with the fatigue.

Exercise (even just 30 min walking) is good for depression.

Answer 7

I can see you have had plenty of answers, I haven't read them so I don't know what they suggest for you. I have suffered with depression most of my life and it is a hard thing to get out of. I think you should go to the doctors and get some antidepressants firstly. They will not work straight away, they take a couple of months to kick in. They wont get rid of your problems but they will help you to see them in a different light. Grief is a big factor of depression and maybe you need to see the councillor again as 3 times isn't enough to say whether or not its working. You have to work with depression and not fight against it. I has taken me many years to realise this. Your sexuality is another issue and to me its one that isn't really a problem, so what if you like girls, it isn't the end of the world and in my experience relationships with girls can be just as bad as with boys.
If you want a chat contact me. I'm here for you if you want it. Good luck babes and chin up xxx

Answer 8

Take medication it is very important to do a complete course of tablets and then go back to doctors. Time off work may not have made you worse because this may have been happening anyway the illness can play tricks with you because your life may not be affecting your illness its more likely the other way round! Other ill people blame the tablets! this is typical of mental illness, Blaming the very thing that is helping you causes 'non compliance' and major problems for the whole community.

Answer 9

focus on the things that make you feel good. find a new hobby or project that will keep you occupied when you feel low. Try redecorating your room in a brighter, cheerful colour, wear bright clothes, try a new hairstyle, wear pretty makeup, make new friends. Salsa dancing is EXCELLENT as you make new friends whilst learning how to dance. Go for walks and get LOTS of fresh air (do you have a dog??), head up, chest out, and make yourself noticed. You will be amazed how much it will boost your confidence when someone wants to make friends with you or compliments you on how you look!

ABOVE ALL, HAVE FUN, AND DON'T DRINK!

Answer 10

you dont feel better since u went on the sick as now youuve got 100% more time to be depressed- i suffer too and have for years.
time to think and mope about is you worst enemy. im so sorry for all the things youve written believe me ive also been to hell and back in my life-things will get better but you need to fill up some of your time whether thats getting a new job-going back to your old one or finding a hobby-something simple like jogging can make you feel so much better-the exercise will tire u out and make you feel better about yourself.you need to tackle one thing at a time-can u get your own place? please feel free to get in touch if u want someone to just listen. xx