Follow your heart or your head?

Question

Have you ever been in a situation where you had to choose between being with the one you loved an amazing career opportunity? What did you do?

The amazing career opportunity is in Uganda - I wont be able to take her with me ;)

Answer 1

Yes, if you are speaking of choosing between having a relationship with someone or going for a terrific career opportunity...

Before we married, my husband worked in one city about 600 miles away and I was in another. At the time I worked in the retail industry and had been offered a managerial position. He drove transport, a career he'd wanted for awhile. We saw each other very sporadically and by that time a long distance relationship wasn't what either of us wanted. Without notifying the other of our intentions, I chose to quit my position leaving behind a well paying opportunity to move to where he was working. At the same time he chose to leave the career he was in to return to the city I was in.

When we met up one weekend and shared our news with each other, we found ourselves both unemployed and ready to move to each others city....he ended up moving back to the city I was in.

Then a few months later, I was offered an incredible opportunity in a city that was about 150 miles away. It was an opportunity to work for the same employer my father had and it was a a solid, very upwardly mobile atmosphere with plenty of opportunity to rise through the ranks. After much soul searching and of course discussions with my guy, together we decided that I would take the position and eventually put in for a transfer to the city where we lived at the time.

He would drive up to see me every weekend, rain, shine, sleet or snow :) and on every few weeks I'd go back with him for a visit with my family as well.

After a year of this I put in for a transfer to return to the city I'd left and although I lost my permanent employee status and had to reapply for it as they had no direct position I could step into, I was again working in the same city as he was and shortly after we were married.

So, yes, I've followed both my head and my heart...and I guess I have to say that my heart won overall. However, after marriage, my husband was a strong supporter of my career ambitions as I was of his and that led us to the city we now live in.

I went on to enjoy a fabulous career within an atmosphere where I worked with diplomats, dignitaries and was an integral part of 3 Presidential visits meeting both Presidents and First Ladies. I describe that job only to stress to you that good things do come along as you go through life despite the fact that you might let your heart win this one and not go for the position...I'm not nromally one to "brag" about who I've met or what I've done, so just so i can clarify ... to me the atmosphere I worked in was really no big deal but it was a prestigious position that provided me an iincredible experience that I wouldn't have had if my husband wouldn't have supported my goals.

Today, after experiencing all I set out to experience back when I was a teen simply dreaming of what I'd do with my life, after being in the field of both Governmental positions and Corporate ownership, I have now chosen to do as I please, and have taken a new path as a web designer, artist and writer :) all things I had wanted to do late in my last enterprise, although nowadays, this Answers forum takes up more of my time than it really should.

My husband now owns a Company that is doing exceptionally well and again is an opportunity that had we not supported one another careerwise, he may not have gone for...

So, if you feel that your head and the amazing career opportunity are what you need at the moment...go for it. Your partner may surprise you and make his own arrangements in order to be with you...or you may be able to transfer back to where he is at some point if the opportunity allows.

Then at some point the heart might lead you and if the partnership is a strong one, head and heart might take both of you in the same direction to incredible opportunities that neither of you expected could take place.

So let your soul speak to you, it will lead you to determine if head or heart should win. Take stock of the pros and cons of each move...the career and the relationship.

If it is meant to be then it will work out as it should, don't struggle against fate because eventually you end up going where it wanted you to go anyway. If you are finding that things aren't allowing you to move forward in the direction you think you want to go...perhaps it is time to try the other direction...if things move smoothly and swiftly then the decision you have made is the one you should consider taking. Sometimes things just work out despite our intervention, stubborness or refusals...at least that's how I look at things and so far, for me, my life has been an incredible journey that I don't think I could have enjoyed had I not let both head and heart take turns with my life decisions.

Been there, done that more than a few times :) and enjoyed every moment of every opportunity.

Good luck whatever you decide.

Answer 2

I followed my heart, and it was wonderfull while the relationship lasted. Now that the relationship has ended, I realise that I have blown a UNIQUE opportunity for career advancement.

Answer 3

The girl! Doh!
Should have gone for the career because if the girl was worth it she would have supported your decision.

If you feeling strong go with your heart, if theres any confusion or doubt go with your head everytime Bud.

Answer 4

I believe there is a best solution to every issue. Try to figure out a way to take the job and bring your love with you. Why settle for one when you can have both?

Answer 5

Take the one you love with you. If you can't do that, then something's up and your heart will have to be strong while your head makes an intelligent decision.

Answer 6

I used to follow my head but have found my heart is a better guide.

Answer 7

Base your decisions on logic, not what you might think is love. Love will follow naturally.

Answer 8

your head will never let you down but if u dont follow your heart you ll just say i wish i would but when you do, u say i should of listened to my head

Answer 9

the one you love. other jobs can come around but the one true love only comes around once and i would rather be poor and in love then rich and alone

Answer 10

Flip a coin.

If it is a really good job... leave the person.
You can always find another.