Hubby think he did not cheat cause he said nothing happened he just called her on the phone and only met once?

Question

I found out my hubby was cheating on me with someone tlkd him said nothing happened cause he has just met her and she lives 3 hours away he met her when he went to see a friend of his He said its was a 1 day thing all they were doing now was talking on the phone said he was sorry for everything wants me to forgive him and move on The thing is he does not want to tlk about it he wants to pretend it never happened but its hurting me pretty bad he also told me he wont call her again the i found call from her and him call her he denied it and i showed him the call he lied to me also about not kissing her but he did i dont know what to do I cant trust him anymore cause he is lying to me he said he did not tell me about the kiss cause he knew it will only hurt me The thing is i dont know what else he is keeping from me cause it might hurt me.I cant kiss him now cause i think of him kissing her I love him and I am willing to forgive but i cant get the other woman out of my head please help me

Answer 1

Sweetheart I'm in the same position almost but I found out my husband slept with the other woman, and flew to Ireland to do it. I had to be detective to find all this of course, men will lie and lie to save their skins. My husband and I are trying to rebuild our marriage using christian counselling and a great book we found called, His needs her needs, building an affair-proof marriage. You can find it on amazon.co.uk. Buy it and understand it's possible to get over these things if he's prepared to get honest and cut all ties with her. I keep seeing my man in bed with this girl but we have improved our sex life since then. I admit my faith is a big help in getting through this and my church is being very supportive, if you don't go to church or believe in God then you are missing out on that support and make sure you have friends who will support your decision to stay with your husband. I really hope it works out for you.

Answer 2

I think he is lying to you too. If nothing happened he would have come home that day he met you and said " oh i met a nice woman today we chatted alot and got on well I would love for you to meet her you would be great friends" or something like that but the fact that he said nothing and then lied about it all has made it worse and it will seem even worse to you than him because it isn't you that cheated. Wether it was a kiss or a full on affair the fact is he cheated and that can not be forgiven easily.

You just need to decide what you want now. If you do trust him still then just ask him if he has feelings towards the woman. The worst he can do is say yes, I know this wil hurt but you already know he cheated so thats bad enough, if he says no then you will be able to tell if he is lying or not. Take it from there.

i hope everything works out for you if you wanna let me know then email me on [e-mail]


xxxx

Answer 3

Exactly the same thing that happened to me.

Men will always deny it unless they are caught. Imagine I even called the girl and made friends with her, because my hubby said that she was just a friend. So ok. Now imagine my shock when I saw the phone bill that he tried so hard to keep from me and saw hours of talk with the woman he said was just a friend. Imagine my reaction when he said that it was all business talk so their talks were more frequent and longer. So ok. My patience is wearing thin, but still gave him the benefit of the doubt. Now this, imagine an even bigger shock when I saw a text from the girl saying that they have to stop because they might hurt me. So, I finally said, what on earth is happening? I got so angry at my man that I didn't talk to him and made plans of flying from one place to another just to get my hands on the woman and make her pay.

Then I decided that if I make a scandal, I might just lose face if my husband chooses her over me. So I made a different move. Imagine now the shock he had when all of a sudden I made it known to everybody they know that I know about them. It was all very quick, and the word spread so fast, some of their friends tried to give explanations which I know then were just their way of defending them. And whatever business transactions they planned on, I made myself known to it. Hahaha! So eventually, all these transactions never continued and all alibis caught. Who's got the last laugh now?

Of course my husband lost his face to a lot of people for quite sometime. And when he blamed me for it, I just reiterate, "you started it, I just finished it. So the next time you try to fool around, you now at least know what I am capable of."

That has been years ago, it was veeeeeeeeeeerrrrry hard to forget it and even now that I am writing it down, I still get angry everytime I remember what he did. Although forgetting is different from forgiving. He has repented after that and made up in every way he knew, so I gave him another chance.

It might still be a couple of years before I finally let go of that experience, but at least I made the first move of forgiving him (not the girl of course, I don't give a damn about her). I have a family to keep, and in order to keep it together, I've got to have longer patience and understanding.

Answer 4

I think he has some serious "owning-up" to do, maybe you should try and do something similar to him? I don´t mean anything too serious, just something that will make him think, and maybe get him a bit jealous, ´cause it seems like some people don´t understand until it hits home with them, dýa know what I mean?! Forgiving is hard, forgetting is even harder...if you feel you still want to be together, and you feel that´s what he wants, then I think you should try, absolutely...give it some time, tell him you´ve been hurt and so on...hopefully things will go back to what they were before...good luck

Answer 5

Im sorry to say this to you, but, if he cheated on you once, he can certainly do it again. So if you do manage to forgive, you will never forget and you will never trust him again.Go for marriage counselling and try to work it out, but just know that it will never be the same again. Men for some strange reason, think that if you forgive them for something, it means they can do it gain, because they got away with it the first time.He might do it again, maybe this time it will be worse. Who knows, mabe the thought of losing you was a wake up call and maybe he will never do it again. Just be honest with yourself.Try to work it out, dont punish yourself for something he did wrong.

Answer 6

Do you want to stay married to this guy? If you do, try to forget this ever happened and put it aside. BUT...be careful, honey. He's not being straight with you. Keep an eye out without prying. Just tell him if you find out again that he's cheated or lied to you, he can pack his bag and go take the 3 hr. trip back to his girlfriend. You know he's lying and he hasn't told you everything and frankly, you should just drop it and try to keep things on an even keel. Ask him to go to counseling if you just can't step forward. Otherwise, make sure he knows if he steps out of line again, he's gone! God Bless.

Answer 7

Do you love him? Do you want to move pass this and continue with your marriage? Has the trust been broken forever? Do you think his relationship is over with this other woman? These are the questions you need to ask yourself before, pushing him any further for the truth. I pushed and pushed my bf for the truth over his so called meetings with another woman, and boy when he finally cracked and told me the whole truth, I was totally unprepared for it. I am not saying ignore what he has done, what I am saying once you know the whole truth you will have to act, are you prepared at this stage to do this??? Good luck to you Hun its a difficult situation, I know I have been there XXX

Answer 8

You can forgive him even though you don't know what else he is lying about? If he is truly sorry and wants to make things right with you than he will be more than willing to go to counseling with you. You won't be able to trust him again unless you seek some professional help. He will also have to prove it to you.

Answer 9

ooh yeah the thought of other woman kissing ur guy etc...., tricky one u need to seriously sit down nd tell hubby how u feel, tell how much u love him nd tell him to be completely honest with you...if he so over her r wotever..ask to go see this woman not 2 talk just 2 c...trust me itll make u feel better with him bside u coz ull know then that hes there with u nd not with her....if he refuses to do this u may have a problem...in that case take some time out for urself, let him suffer at home like u have

Answer 10

Once a cheat always a cheat....What else is he lying to you about? If he truly loved you he wouldnt even be looking at other women...I hope you two dont have kids, then you can just leave him....He sounds like a jerk and cant be trusted.....
If you allow him to get away with it now, he would think he could get away with it again.
Dont loose your confidence by allowing this guy to treat you this way. You deserve better!!!!!