I like this girl. I was trying to get to know her.
While I talked about family, she mentioned about her mother and say"my father...................well"
and I ask well?
she said she died last year
I expressed my deep sorrow,
but then I did something IDIOTIC
I asked her "WHAT HAPPENED TO HER FATHER"
she said she didn't want to talk about it
and soon I went like OH ****
WHAT THE HECK WAS I DOING??
I FEEL BAD
ANY ADVICE what I should do or what I can do?
2006-08-10 23:48:25 · 36 answers · asked by Hammer 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
SORRY
HER FATHER DECEASE
2006-08-11 00:53:37 · update #1
tell her ur sorry if u brought up something that was painful but you want to make her feel better
2006-08-10 23:52:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her that you were sorry about your questions about her father and promise her that you would not mention him to her ever again. That's all you need but do it with sincerity. What you did was no big deal I'm sure for that girl.
Next time though, you'd better be more tactful in asking her questions or telling her things because she may be a sensitive woman right now for her having lost her father. Depresssion and feeling of emptiness somehow are affecting her emotionally and that's what you should try to help her overcome.
Assure her that you will be with her all the time and tell her that if ever she will need a shoulder to lean it, yours are always ready to help her get through whatever loneliness she feels.
You can now sleep better knowing that you did not do her any wrong when you asked her those questions. Believe me, just show her that you really care for her through your words and actions and I'm sure she will even like you a lot, lot more. Smile.
2006-08-11 00:52:16 · answer #2 · answered by Ruzzo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your probably not the one that hurt her. There is no perfect way to handle pain that it already there. She is still hurting and you just put her in a spot to deal with it and she might not know how yet. You really didn't do anything wrong. In fact being there for her will show her you care and can help her get through it. Crying is part of healing and maybe she got funny because she didn't want to cry in front of you. In time if you two end up closer, she might share her feelings instead of covering them.
2006-08-17 09:25:07 · answer #3 · answered by snowhite 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well in trying to get close you went about it wrong way. I know when someone dies that close to you its very hard. i mean he could have died of cancer or something like being shot i mean you don't know for sure. And in any case let it lie a couple weeks call as ask how she is and then try and start a low level converstation and then get to know the person before you get personal. it will work out but takes time to know someone.
2006-08-16 15:01:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a reasonable question you asked, and it showed you were interested. Maybe she couldnt handle talking about it right now, but if she is a normal person, she will not be upset that you asked. My Mum died when i was 9, and I couldnt talk about it then, but am free to talk about it now. Good friends are interested in their friends....you did right, dont worry. Just let her know you are there for her when she wants to talk.
2006-08-10 23:53:52 · answer #5 · answered by medium_of_dance 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you like her,and the only reason you act like a fool because you are nervous and at the same time,try to be helpful and make her feel that you really want to care.That will do the trick,for girls,the more nervous you are,the better because its how much you care
2006-08-17 17:06:59 · answer #6 · answered by Janet Y 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not your fault, you were just curious. Just tell her you didn't mean to push into a touch subject and make sure the next topic of discussion is something positive. Like take her for ice cream!
2006-08-10 23:52:58 · answer #7 · answered by Lu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't feel bad, these were normal questions that anyone would have asked, when getting to know someone. she probably hasn't thought anymore about it. take her out to dinner or a few drinks, and just do casual talk, what she wants you know about her she will tell you, if you are very open there is a chance that she will be also.
2006-08-10 23:58:17 · answer #8 · answered by red 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't take it so hard, you are bound to ask question. In fact you did right asking her this question, who know she will discuss it with you later. Try to be good with her but don't overdo it.
Take her out for movie or dinner. Don't try to kiss her or ask for sex so soon. She is hurt, you have to be soft with her.
Show you concern by doing small gestures. Like buying small gift (soft toy)
All the best.
2006-08-10 23:55:44 · answer #9 · answered by Nick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not think you did anything wrong nor do you need to feel bad.
If it comes up again you could say that You understand how she feels about her father and you will not pry but if she ever needs to talk about it, you are there for her? Other than that I think you did fine.
2006-08-11 00:06:16 · answer #10 · answered by iwishiwereanangel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't do anything. She will tell you when she feels ready. All you can say is you feel bad, and you didn't mean to bring up a sore subject. You didn't hurt her, the subject of her father did. Its not your fault because you didn't know.
2006-08-10 23:53:57 · answer #11 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋