We have been together 6 years. I'm nice looking, and take care of myself. I know he loves me by the way he looks at me, but he just can't bring himself to say sweet things, he just never expresses himself. I need him to pay a little more attention... I have told him, but no reaction yet. Am I being unreasonable?
2006-08-10 23:36:39 · 15 answers · asked by bunnymich 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know how you feel and it isn't hopeless; however, don't hold your breath. My fiancee has the same problem and it stems from the amount of affection his family shared as he was growing up. They loved each other a great deal, there was no doubt about that, but they didn't express themselves outwardly like my family did. Don't hold back your affection and loving touches. Keep telling him how you feel about your love for him and how happy he makes you. Don't expect anything back because you said it yourself, "I know he loves me by the way he looks at me." Take the initiative to make arrangements for romantic dates where you can be one on one. Cuddle when you watch TV or are relaxing. Go to the movies and lean against him, hold his hand or rub his leg. I'm just throwing out waysof feeling close without words for you to consider. It is possible to teach old dogs new tricks; however, when you force someone to behave a certain way, they may feel like they are being backed into a dark cave and eventually they may feel trapped and smothered causing them to run you over to escape the pressure and retaliate against what you asking even if it is something he could forseeably achieve.
Good luck and try to accept the love he gives you, the way he knows how.
2006-08-11 01:31:54 · answer #1 · answered by Kitt 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no reason to stop talking/sleeping or anything else with him, or even acting like you are going to leave him, these things will just make a bad situation worse.
Have you tried to set down and tell him how you feel? Do you express yourself to him as well? Or do you keep to yourself also?
It sounds to me like the two of you are in a rut, and are "comfortable", and it sounds to me like the two of you are just taking the situation for granted.
Maybe "spicing up" you time with him ;) would help out some too.
You need to set down and discuss this with him, and dont make it confrontational, that will just make the situation worse. Just tell him how you feel, and again,
DONT MAKE IT CONFRONTATIONAL,
because then he will be on the defensive, and he will just get even more quiet and be even less likely to say these things to you, and the situation will only get worse.
2006-08-10 23:55:25 · answer #2 · answered by kydts 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well missus some men are just like that, Some guys are romantic in a sense that they'll promise you the stars and moon and the galaxy. Some guys just simply keep their mouth shut and express their affection in diffrent way, perhaps the way he makes love to you ( till 5 rounds and keep going and going ...oppppsss dear i cant get enough of you).Maybe your hubby is just simply too shy expressing his feelings through words ( is he a soldier by the way?) oh be content when his expressing it more through actions. Maybe his father is not expressing his feelings through words and even his grandfather or even his forefathers... so i guess it runs in the family eh...
2006-08-10 23:53:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
your not being unreasonable. Marriage is work and it takes two people to work at it. If he truly wants it to work he will at least try. Its not like you are asking for a new car or something. Good Luck
2006-08-10 23:40:22 · answer #4 · answered by Corie M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. not unreasonable, but we can't expect people to totally change either.
How about writing him a very nice note and asking for a note back from him?
Best wishes!
2006-08-10 23:47:29 · answer #5 · answered by PeggyS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pay as much attention to him as you would like him to pay to you. Reward attention with something wild like fulfilling one of his fantasies.
If you want roses at work then send him flowers at work with a sexy card attached. Try those sort of things. It takes two for a good marriage.
2006-08-11 00:45:04 · answer #6 · answered by Sensei Rob 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no not unreasonable, just stop asking him to say sweet thing...the more you act like you don't care the more compliments you'll get.
funny how that works.
2006-08-10 23:41:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi! Type out an email to me - telling me how you feel - I will tell you to leave the stupid man - then - deliberately leave the email on the screen or print it off .. leave it so he can see it... See what he says... Good Luck
2006-08-10 23:42:02 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no your not being unreasonable. the problems here are men and women see things differently. Men are problem solvers and they fix things like our problems, which to us they aren't problem we just wanted to be heard and for him to just listen and give no reply as to fix it. as for women we are talkers and we vent just want husbands/bf to be compassionate and be there and hear whatever we want to talk about.
read the book you can get at your local library.
(men are from mars--women are from Venus) you will enjoy it.
2006-08-11 01:51:46 · answer #9 · answered by RAINBOW 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well bbay .. some men are like that , and they love with thier heart from inside and they can`t express and thing , but sure you will feel that in making love ..
http://www.thestarlitecafe.com/poems/101/poem_8350777.html
please read more poems and leave me there your comments ..
yours
hazem
2006-08-10 23:40:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋