I live in China. I'm constantly heckled and cat-called by many locals here. This, although not very refined, is certainly not seen as an insult by Chinese people. The insult is just in my head, due to my having grown up in America where such behavoir isn't acceptable.
I love living here, and I want to stay. But I find myself pissed-off almost once an hour at the way many people treat me.
Many Chinese people have explained why some folks act this way toward me, and there are very understandable reasons. But no matter how much I come to understand, it still pisses me off and the result is that I'm a jerk to about half the people I meet on the street. Usually because I have just taken what they've said or done as an insult.
I guess my delima is how to put intro practice what know I should do. How can I overide my basic cultural reflexes and better adapt to my environment? What I was taught as a child is nonfunctional here. Maybe I should just grow up. Thanks.
2006-08-10 22:19:35 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
anger management
2006-08-10 22:22:00 · answer #1 · answered by j@mE$ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am white, I live in China and am much respected. There is a basic problem here and I think it must be your attitude. Americans (ABCs included) often have a superior attitude and a look down their noses at Chinese and it is resented. Yes, I was a Qwai-loh when I first arrived, but I turned that around because I respect people who work for so little money everyday, and I do many things to just show people I am not better...I often tell some of my friends I can't afford this or that...(it isn't true) but it puts me on the same ground. I walk instead of taking a motorcycle (San Lun Mo-Tah...my pinyan sucks) just to keep them regarding me as just another person trying to make life work. I do things for my friends...small things...give them a special sea shell I found on the beach....or buy dragon eye fruit (Long Yan) or share a liu lian with them. I am employed by an oil company (3rd largest in the world) and I need not do these things but I love the people and I love China. Open up and just be part of things. If you have already made a lumpy bed, it might be difficult to change....but not impossible...Chinese are very forgiving people.
2006-08-10 22:37:21 · answer #2 · answered by Frank 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget etiquette. Forget about being polite. Now is the time to get mad. Don't be a doormat and allow people to insult you.
Names hurt. Don't let anyone tell you any different. If they say something to you...go up to their face and talk to them. Invade their personal space. Get at least 2 inches from their nose. They have no right to insult you. Ask them why they said it and how is it their business.
2006-08-10 22:24:30 · answer #3 · answered by Trollhair 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When ever you fell like you are being insulted STOP do not say a thing !!! Then say to YOURSELF it is not an insult and then continue with what ever you were doing.
Or Learn to accept the "insult" as fun and games, try to poke fun at yourself too and maybe they will be more friendly.
:o)
2006-08-11 02:22:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u just have to work on ur people skills,n communication. n if sumone is mean to u just tell them 2 have a nice day and u hope they feel better later on n just practice daily on being polite to everyone,just b the better person about everybodys rudeness towards u well gud luck
2006-08-10 22:29:10 · answer #5 · answered by beautifulstuff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Count to 10 before you open your mouth!
2006-08-10 23:07:43 · answer #6 · answered by Say It Like You Mean It 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds llike you answered your question. Truthfully
2006-08-10 22:25:04 · answer #7 · answered by superman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
start using nice words and doing nice things even to those who are rude
2006-08-10 23:10:31 · answer #8 · answered by stefan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the golden rule, Treat other as you would want them to treat you!
2006-08-10 22:23:42 · answer #9 · answered by SecretUser 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋