I have been with my husband for 9 years almost 10.. we have been married for 3 years... HE LOVES sex.. wants it 24/7.. I myself am just not that into it... I feel bad for not being into it because he likes it so much... I dont know how to get into it for him.. I do not enjoy it at all & when I am finished if /when I get off thats it I am done I do not want anymore period.. Is there something wrong with me??? We have 3 kids & I have been like this since our youngest who is 7 was a year old... I dont know what to do I used to enjoy sex but now I dont.. SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY
2006-08-10 21:38:40 · 22 answers · asked by bite_me_harder_28 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I DO ALL THE CARE TAKING OF THE KIDS NOT HIM & TO BRIAN LARR **** U... I ALSO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF $ wise TYY... I have talked to him about this & it does no good at all
2006-08-10 21:50:31 · update #1
I understand where you are coming from. When I was married the first time (I'm on my second marriage now), I had the same problem. I was no longer interested in sex. I thought it was me, but really it was my husband. He just didn't turn me on anymore. He thought that just because we were in the bed we had to have sex. My husband now is a lot different. He loves sex too, but I love it more now then I ever did with my first husband simply because my husband now cares more about getting excited then he does about getting 'off' himself. He gives me all over body massages with baby oil and lots of affection and sweet talking before we even think about having sex because all the other things are making love too, not just the actual sex part of it. We enjoy each others affection more than anything. We make a point once a week to make love all night. And I mean all night (6-8 hours long). Then the rest of the week we only spend maybe 1-2 hours making love. It is all in the way he approaches the subject. The more he expects, the less you are going to want. My husband can spend hours just holding, rubbing on me and talking to me and still never expect sex unless I am in the mood for it. And he doesn't even get mad if I'm not in the mood. Good Luck with the situation, I know how frustrating it can be so I hope you can figure out something to do about it.
2006-08-10 22:03:58 · answer #1 · answered by caley_kitten 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's not that unusual for women to lose desire at some point in their marriage. Go to the doctor first and be sure it's nothing physical, beyond being tired. Next, make a deal with your husband that he gives you a week without even hinting. Then you go away, if money is tight, a sleazy motel will do just so it's away from the kids. Then you give him the best you have. Don't make yourself miserable, but do whatever you can feel comfortable with.
Spend some real time on romance and togetherness. Most likely, with the kids and work, you rarely even get to exchange full sentences. You may not be able to get into the "act" but your husband will enjoy a massage and cuddling almost as much.
Repeat this as often as schedules and money allow. After a few times, you will hopefully be coming back to your previous level of interest.
2006-08-11 05:35:10 · answer #2 · answered by Kuji 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Babi gurl there's nothin wrong wit u at all. It's just that ur spouse needs 2 know how u feel and u need 2 try n figure out if there is more to it than what ur saying. Think long n hard about n maybe u'll think of sum reason u no longer enjoy sex. n if homeboi doesn't understand that u don't want sex that much then maybe u need space?
2006-08-11 04:44:43 · answer #3 · answered by Olivia J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi there ive been there you dont enjoy it cause youre running around after kids etc,i really dont mean to be nosey but if youre getting pain then you should go to the doctor and get things checked out ,there could be other issues that are making you feel this way im sure that youre husband loves you more than you can deal with at the moment try talking to him and explain that youre uncomfortable with things at the moment and you need sometime to sort out how you feel ,i hope things improve for you good luck and go and see youre doctor they will be able to help you take care x
2006-08-11 04:54:47 · answer #4 · answered by a parent hows been there !! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like your problem is that sex has become another household chore, like doing the dishes. he wants it all the time, and you feel like you should let him have it, no matter how tired you are, or what else may be going on. duties, chores, as a rule, are not fun.
i think what you need to do is tell your husband about this, and ask for some space. get him to focus on quality, not quantity. tell him, if he wants you in the mood, he better clean up after dinner while you soak in the tub, give you some time to slip out of caretaker mode and into woman mode again. and don't just give it to him because he wants it. make him work for it, make him seduce you with words, his attitude, his actions.
2006-08-11 04:51:01 · answer #5 · answered by gwenwifar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your Dr.. It could be a lot of things. Could be your tired from taking care of the kids, hormonal imbalance, depression. Could be that he just doesn't make it special and just thinks of himself (and that's no fun for you). Sex isn't good if you feel it's a chore. There are herbs on the market that could help you, such as Maca and Damiana. But I'd really suggest you talk it over with a Dr. if it is really bothering you.
2006-08-11 04:46:05 · answer #6 · answered by MrsMike 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
talk to ur hubby ... let him understand ur situation ...
most likely u nd a break from the humping ...
pregnancies, childbirths, child upbringing n etc etc can wreak havoc on a woman's emotion, mind and hormones ...
Communication is the key ... let ur hubby knw tat u r havin a prob rite now n u nd his help to get u out of the rut ... stayin off sex for a while cld allow u a much needed break n help the fire burn hotter the next time u two are back at it again ... :) Good luck n hav fun ..
2006-08-11 04:45:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think u husband is a sex geek.
If he wants so much i dont know any women can fulfil her needs.
It's good to have sex but not 24/7.
How can ur husband can manage to keep it erect so long for 24/7.
He may have some hormone inbalance.
Just check it out from doctor and put ur husband on medicine.
Bye ..........
2006-08-11 04:44:05 · answer #8 · answered by uchitshah 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Leave me alone. I would not see thee more.
The storm is hushed, the agony is o'er.
I would not feel again
The passion and the pain.
Do not again come knocking at my door.
Leave me alone. Put not into my hand
A broken cup, though bound with golden band,
Lest I with thirsty lip
Once more its passions sip.
Still let it lie, all shattered on the sand.
Leave me alone. I followed, long ago,
Joy to its tomb, with tolling marches slow.
Wake not my buried slain,
Only to die again.
Leave me to peace___'tis all I hope to know.
Leave me alone. I may not quite forget
The buried love, whose sweetness thrills me yet;
But let the willow wave;
Rake not a grass-grown grave;
Break not the turf, for fresh-rung tears to wet
2006-08-11 05:47:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communication is key. You need to talk openly and honestly about this.
You need to tell him that you love him & want to him to be happy but that there is something very wrong happening here... and that you need his love, support, help & understanding so you can both try & sort this out together... like a loving couple should.
2006-08-11 05:11:55 · answer #10 · answered by Lynn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋