We have been together over a year, we have been going through our ups and downs, more downs than ups. The reason I don't know what to do is because I have my wall of protection up from him hurting my feelings before. I want to let it down because things is starting to get a little better. I know he have been stressing, but so have I. Should I trust that he is not going to let his stress get in the way of our relationship? No I am not the reason he is stressing, I am the only one that is comforting him.
2006-08-10 21:36:14 · 9 answers · asked by LetMe_FindOut 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You two are are a stage where you both are getting at each other. which is very normal.
truth is, its best you open up, just like i presume his open with you about his true nature ( hence the regular disagreements)
its better to get to know each other at your best and worst.
that way you'll know if you what to be with each other.
good luck.
2006-08-10 21:43:08 · answer #1 · answered by Deb 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
when someone hurt you before, it is difficult to forget and jump across the wall and trust again as if nothing happened. as they say: One can forgive, but never forget!!!
If you do not yet trust him enough, give it time maybe things will get better. Tell him how you feel and why you have problems in getting more serious with him. Do not accuse him of anything though, just express your emotions to him so he will understand.
If he is stressed out and you can handle the situation by staying with him and comforting him, then, well done. But if you feel that you had had enough of this situation, that you are afraid he will hurt you again, but you stay with him because you feel sorry or something as he's now putting an effert to be nice, don't do it! Just think of yourself and pack and go.
2006-08-11 04:44:23 · answer #2 · answered by trushka 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
as time passes allow the wall become less thick. instead of a solid wall that is impenetrable, let it start to disipate as a cloud. when he becomes emotional to the point of anger, you know the signs, tighten up the cloud. you will need to to feel for him and with him when he is angered, hostile, dismayed, etc. do not run away and hide for protection, instead, stand with him and take the blows he has suffered and discuss options. this is bonding, something folks belive is difficult and are fearfull of rebuke. this is what relationships are made of. if there is love and trust and faith, the two of you will grow together. you may speak with family members of both families to help figure things out. this is unity of the most important people in your lives. good luck. peace
2006-08-11 06:05:14 · answer #3 · answered by MICHAEL G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi there you didnt say what happened so having to do a bit of guessing here ,he hurt you , and you are both still together but youre scared to trust him ,well a relationship has to be built on trust and talking to each other i suppose if you are the one thats supporting him then how is supporting you ? is this a one way street where you do everything and he is taking and not helping you ,these are questions that i would be asking my srlf if i was in youre position ,if you areso unsure about things then id be talking this through with him dont be pushed into anything that you dont feel happy with go with youre gut instinct good luck and take care of youre self xx
2006-08-11 04:47:56 · answer #4 · answered by a parent hows been there !! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough call. I'd say wait, give it time. And above all talk to each other about these things. Openess in a relationship is the only way to go.
2006-08-11 04:40:24 · answer #5 · answered by GameTheory 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Comfort should be mutual but don't give up all your defences unless you're 100% sure that he's behaved himself although I strongly doubt it. It's an inherent nature in men. Anyway, be careful with him.
2006-08-11 04:42:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Decide whether this relationship is worth the time and effort if it is then let your guard down, if he messes up again then show him the door.
2006-08-11 04:40:30 · answer #7 · answered by chocolatechick 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
let him know exactly what u feel,u dont wanna hurt him or tie to yor self to sm one for whome u r not really very sure.
dont keep the confusion too long..clear the situation.
2006-08-11 04:41:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already know what you want, and you can either listen to your heart and follow its direction or refuse to hear it. Follow your heart -- your heart ALWAYS knows what is right for you.
2006-08-11 04:44:21 · answer #9 · answered by grace 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋