whats the best excuse you have given for not going into work?

Answer 1

A mate a works husband rung in saying she couldn't come into work as the Moon was in the wrong place so she wouldn't be leaving the house as it was bad luck!!
My own personal best was not an such an excuse but truth i hate to say. i had done a loada over time and didn't realy know what day of the week i was on as i work nights so i got merrilly stuck into some wine thinking it was my night off at 5pm!! at 9pm and a good few glasses of wine (it may of been bottles can't realy remember) later i had to ring in work at 9pm sluring jees i'm sorry i'm pissed i'll work if u want me to but i thought today was tomorrow and i realise now its today hic lol thankfully they found it soo funny i didn't get into any trouble

Answer 2

I had a friend who had a fool proof technique of getting off work. It worked every time.

He would ring up, and ask to speak to the boss in a strained voice. When the boss came on he would explain he has stomach problems, that he thinks it is something he ate. He would then go a bit funny on the phone for a second (maybe a bit of grunting then go ohmygodohmygodohmygod) and then get back and say, look he is really sorry. He has just soiled himself, he says he needs to clean himself up as it is running down his leg and that he will call back.

The person on the phone ALWAYS just wants to get this person off the phone as soon as possible at any cost and certainly doesnt want them to ring back, they usually say take as much time as you need.

I have been in the room when he has done this before. Its hilarious. He used to use silly putty to simulate wet farts too. Its funny, Nobody wants to sympathise, talk to, or even know about a grown adult who has shat themselves, they just want to get rid of them.

The man was a genius.

Answer 3

I called in and said my Tarantula had escaped and I needed to find it before it bit someone.

There also the one where a guy phoned in and said, "I can't come in today I'm sick" the boss asked, "Just how sick are you?"
"I'm in bed with my sister!" came the reply.

Answer 4

myself I'm a workaholic, but i work with alot of strippers and they have some dandy excuses. no ride, i cut my finger, have a ingrown toe nail, have no gas money, call in because hung over, im feeling fat

Answer 5

some1 i worked with once gave the reason
"no bus fair"
another day he left a suicide note on the printer, went to lunch & didnt come back!! He's been seen around since btw!

Answer 6

I knocked myself out on my car door........
or, My Puppy died (had no dog)......
Or my whole family are vomiting, and i am too.........
i had to give a police statement after witnessing a mugging......
Its confidential, , , then burst into tears......
I have to pick my Cousin up from the airport, she is coming back to support her sister who has just come out of the closet........
We had a power cut and i slept all day.......
My little Nanny (who has alzeimers) went missing, had to look for her......
Car wouldn't start.....
It is snowing where i am and snowed in (used in May......).....

Answer 7

A guy at the place I work called in one day saying he wouldn't be in because "it's raining"!!

Answer 8

My pet turtle had babies and is going thru post partum.She needs all the support I can give .So I won't be in today.

Answer 9

was out of town and car broke down. had to have it repaired and will take long 'cause no parts were available.

Answer 10

i was stuck in a jam with the boss's car behind mine