Am I overreacting?

Question

Pregnant, and my husband insists on going out all the time. Tonight he had his brother come over and basically ask if he could go out and play. He told me he would be home at 11:00. Woke up at 2:00 and he wasn't home. He got here about 2:15. He does not seem to understand why this bothers me - I'm almost 38 weeks and I think he should be home with me. Do I expect too much?

Also, I have been on "bed rest" since 7/7/06. So I am stuck at home by myself all the time.

I have to mention that I love him more than anything in the world......and would do anything for him. I also know that he needs time to blow off steam and that he is stressed out, also. But isn't there a better way to handle this?

I don't think he is cheating. He was burned really bad by his ex......

Answer 1

I think he should be there for you. I mean you're carrying his child. You're also 38 weeks and could go into labor at any time and his leaving you home alone. This is time in which he should be focused on you and the new life you're both bringing into this world. I think you should really sit down and express your feeling to him. I mean he needs to know how you truly feel and why. Does he think its going to be okay to continue to conduct himself in the same manner once the baby comes???? Just let him know how you feel. I mean yes, everyone needs time for themselves however, at this moment his attention should be completely on you and your baby not his brothe or going out.

Answer 2

This time is probably very stressful for him too...it's possible he might be trying to get in all his "guy" time before the baby is born. He knows that he won't be able to go out when the baby comes. The problem is, if you're on bedrest, you have enough to worry about. You shouldn't have to be worrying about him-if he says 11, he should be home at 11. Coming home late causes you a lot of stress and that's not healthy for you, or the baby. You don't deserve to be in the house by yourself all the time. Explain this to your husband in a calm, rational way. Tell him you're feeling lonely, and need him around. Make a compromise about his going out habits. Maybe 1 weeknight, and 1 weekend night. You're not expecting too much at all. If you talk to him and he still doesn't understand, then you might have a real problem...will this continue when the baby is born? Having a baby is stressful for both of you, but you need to help each other through it. Tell him you worry about him when he is so late. If he is going to stay out late, he should tell you. He's probably thinking he doesn't want to hear you complain, and figures he'll just say 11 and then come home whenever he feels like it. Take care of yourself, and best of luck with your husband and new baby :)

Answer 3

No, you are not over reacting, he's being really immature. He needs to understand that he needs to be responsible now because it's not just you that depends on him but a baby too. He shouldn't be going out all the time in the first place and if he does he should be home when he sais he is.
What is he doing coming home at 2am when you are on bed rest? Aside from everything else I think he might be cheating. You should talk to him.

Answer 4

Is this your first child? Sometimes some men do get very stressed as well when their wives are expecting; so he may be using this "going out" as a stress reliever. He should not, however being staying out past a reasonable hour. That is totally disrespectful of you and your baby. If you are on bed rest, you obviously need to be as relaxed and stress free as possible; and he is only adding to your stress and upset. I am hoping that you meant to say that you were 28 weeks; because if you are overdue his butt should be in that house with you every waking moment that he is not working to support you and his baby!!! I don't know your age or his; but I think he is acting like a kid. It is very juvenile of his brother to be coming over to have him go out and play. Playtime is over, buddy. Once the baby has safely made it into this world, then some playtime for both parents can be renegotiated, but should not be happening now. He needs to grow up and fast. I don't mean to be insulting, but you and his baby need a husband and a father; not a playmate. Does the rest of your family; either your parents or his parents know that he is going out to all hours like this? I hope that you and he can discuss this further and work it out, it really does not bode well for your future as a couple and a family to hear of this type of behaviour going on while you are pregnant. I wish you the best of luck and health and happiness for you and the baby. I am sorry if I have been harsh on your husband, but I am trying to give you an honest answer based on a small amount of information. Best wishes to all.

Answer 5

No, you are not over reacting. You didn't lay down by yourself and made this baby. You can go in at any time. If he is not doing anything positive, then he should be home with you, to keep an eye on you. How would he feel if the shoe was on the other foot? He know you need him. When the baby is born, leave the baby with him and don't come in until 2:15, and see how he feel left with no help.

Answer 6

I kind of blew up at my man for the same thing and he put me in my place and it was well deserved. it's not fair to him to be put on house arrest because you are on bed rest. I am sure if you are that far along that you could get ahold of him somehow if he were out of the house and you were to go into labor. It by no means wasn't fair for him to come home 3 hours late.. Still he is about to have a baby to and when the baby comes he is never going to be able to go out. Just let him have some fun while he still has time too. You said you don't think he's cheating on you so don't worry! You are just driven by hormones right now and yes, you are over reacting..

Answer 7

You are 38 weeks bed resting, I do agree he needs to be at home with you.

His "partying" days are over at the moment. He has a family now. A wife who is due at anytime. What about if you go into labor or having complications in the night? I really find that inexcusable to be out that late. If he wants to hang with the boys once in awhile, that's all fine and dandy. But at 2am? That is irresponsible and immature. Time to grow up is what I think. If he goes out all the time while you are due, then will he continue with a newborn?

You love him and no one is doubting that. However, it takes more than love to make something work.

Answer 8

He knows you love him very much and he can get away with this behaviour. The more you complain, the worse it will get , I am telling you.

It is time to make sure you and the baby are safe. be a bit more indiferent.
Do you have family near by? Ask a friend to come over and stay late even when he comes back from work and wants to be with you.

I know the feeling, you want to be with him not anybody else, but tell him that if he is not going to care about your needs than you need smbody else to do that!

Answer 9

He should be there for you almost all of the time. However, just remember that this is probably a VERY stressful and new thing to him too, so make sure to give him his alone time/ wind down time when he needs it. (you and the baby are top priority! invite a girlfriend/ mom over if he goes out!)

Answer 10

you are not overreacting, You can have a baby at anytime from now.

If he want the baby as much as you do, he need to make sure the baby have a comfortable landing to this world as well as you get the best care around this time.

Talk to him, make him understand..