Should i let my baby cry?

Question

my son is almost 6 months old. he has slept with my husband and i since birth (no ridicule please, i know it's not reccomended but it works for us). lately he wants to play at bed time and no matter what i do he won't settle down. my husband says put him in the crib until he falls asleep but it breaks my heart to think he would cry himself to sleep. is it something i should try or do you think he's not ready to "cry it out"?

Answer 1

It is actually healthy for a baby to cry. It helps to expand their lungs and it also helps with self soothing. Babies need to know that bed time is bed time. If you have (or start) a night time routine, your child will remember it and get used to knowing what bed time is. Start with his dinner (bottle or solids), then a bath, a good one where he can play and tire a little. Then read him a book or sing him a song, whatever works for you but NOTHING that is stimulating 30 minutes before you want him to go to bed. I have a 3 year old and a 7 month old and they go to bed at the same time. I bathe them together and then I read to them. I rarely get a peep out of them after they are put to bed. You have to stick to the routine every day! Children at that age also get upset when they are off of their routine. I would not expect him to cry for more than 10 minutes, if he does then try something else to soothe him. Rub his body with lotion very quietly. I know with all the cute faces and sounds that they make at this age that it is tempting to want to play but don't. When I got my youngest in a routine he was 3 months old and after a week he was used to it and sleeping through the night. If he is just starting to sleep in the crib, you may want to make sure he has his comfort items in there with him. If he is used to sleeping with and your husband but no longer does, you & him should try sleeping on or with one of the baby's blankets and then give it to him the next night. It will have your smell and the sense that you are there. If you are sure that your child has nothing wrong with him (dirty diaper, hungry, sick) them him crying himself to sleep will not be harmful to him.

Answer 2

No, no, no, it's the wrong thing to do. It makes me sad to read so many responses from people encouraging you to let your baby "cry it out."

Many families do find that having the baby in the same bed works for them, and some experts do recommend it (Dr. Sears, for example).

But if you think you've outgrown it, you can move your baby to his own bed without making him cry it out. There's no reason to jump immediately to that--I don't think it will work for anyone involved.

First, let him know that it's not playtime anymore. You can swaddle him in a blanket, take him into his room and turn the lights off, and walk or rock him quietly. When he's just falling asleep, you can lay him down in the crib.

Make sure that the room is quiet--some parents are tempted to use several mobiles and things like that, which is stimulating and overwhelming. My daughter had one of those Fisher Price aquariums that she loved, but that was the only thing in the room.

You can stay in the room for as long as you need to, but just make sure it stays dark and quiet. He'll catch on to the new routine with time.

This stage of parenting requires your IMMENSE patience, and the support of your husband, who may need to take a turn rocking the little guy as well. Make sure he understands your point of view and is willing to help.

I recommend Dr. Sears' The Baby Book--although some people seem to have a near evangelical devotion to his methods, which I don't share, I still find it useful and supportive.

Answer 3

Alot of people would handle this is so many different ways and i honestly for one am not one for letting a baby cry themselves to sleep. Maybe its just a mother child conection i have with my son because my ex wanted him to cry until he fell asleep and i just couldn't take it. A child that young needs security still and needs to feel safe expecially at night. My son slept with me until he was seven months old then instead of putting him in his own room i put the crib in my room to get him to realize that i was still there but that way he wasn't in my bed with me. It took a few nights of me having to get up and rub his back and just let him know i was there but he finally got comfortable with being in his crib. I also got him a fisher price aquarim like thing that plays soft music which helped alot.... but once he knows your not far away he will settle into his bed you can move it into his own room and you all will be able to have a great nights rest. My son is now 2 and i don't have a problem with him sleeping anywhere he just needs to know that he is safe and that is the biggest concern with babys security ....cuz the world is so big and they only know you as their safe place....
Good luck and i hope this was maybe a little bit of help

Answer 4

yes they do love to get a lot of attention and they love to sleep with us.
put him in the crib and give him something ti hug and go to sleep.

let him cry a little bit for about 2 or 3 days and then hell know thats his place and hell get settled.
yes you cant hear him crying so what you should do is put him in the crib and ask your husband to stay in the room and you go out of the room closing the door where you can not hear your baby crying. kinda selfish but you have to do it otherwise you''ll get into trouble .

last thin to try is you put him in the crib and pull the crib close to your bed and give him your hand so he'll feel that shes close by with you.

Answer 5

The longer u let him sleep with u the longer this will go on. To set a new limit would be put him in his crib when it is nap time and bed time and let him cry himself to sleep. He will eventually figure out that u will not come to him for it is bed time and he will stop. I have 4 kids and i know what i am talking about. Just start the pattern and he will get used to it

Answer 6

NO! Crying it out is an incredibly new American thing based on complete ignorance about a child's needs. Try finding even one study that proves that crying it out is harmless- you won't be able to. You'll find tons of books by "experts" trying to make money from parents desperate to have someone validate their selfish desires to take the easy way out with raising their children. The fact is, crying it out causes children permanent damage and is a foreign concept in the majority of other cultures.
Here are the FACTS:
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/07/14/the_odd_body_crying/
http://www.news.harvard.edu/gazette/1998/04.09/ChildrenNeedTou.html
http://www.atlc.org/Resources/commons_newspaper.php
And check this out- Australia's Mental Health Association actually warns against it: http://www.earlychildhoodaustralia.org.au/Controled%20Crying.pdf

Trust your child and your mothering instincts! My daughter is nearly a year old and has coslept since birth and has never once been left to cry.

Answer 7

No. I had the same issue. I would wear him out in the daytime (crawling, stretches) and he might be more willing to sleep at night. I have 2 kids and they both sleep in their own beds in their own room. My youngest is two and he moved to his room when he was 1 or so. I just can't sleep with the baby crying because how can I tell if he's crying just to get attention or if something is really wrong?

Answer 8

You might try rocking him, my son slept with me for a while then he started be a wild sleeper so I decided it would be safer in his crib, but he didn't want to sleep in their so I would rock him to sleep and then put him in his crib maybe that will work or just see how long he cries if you can't handle it then try something else like a warm bath before bed.

Answer 9

i individually do no longer do nicely with the whole cry it out concern. each each now and then I ought to enable my 4 wk previous cry for slightly reason I ought to get something achieved or ought to flow to the bathing room yet different than that I %. her up while she cries. At this element i've got faith that she should be responsive to that she will have faith me to come back and help her while she desires it. I held my son consistently while he became a newborn and now he's very almost 3 one million/2 and he now no longer needs that form of convenience so I say relish it mutually because it lasts!

Answer 10

Oh boy let him cry it out! My 3yr old daughter did the same thing when younger. I let her sleep with me one time when sick and the next day i regretted it, i let her sleep wiht me and get away with it for 2 months, (daddy was in iraq and the bed was open and i liked the company) but when i tried to ween her off it was pure Hel! My heart broke listening to her cry in there, kicking the walls ect, banging on the bed rails and the baby gate but u gotta let em do it! Trust me its worth is in the long run! And you will get ur rest you need and so will baby after 45min of crying!
wont hurt him a bit, and he probally wont remember it in the morning any how.